


Show Me the Stars

by RealaCarsona



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-08 10:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 51,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealaCarsona/pseuds/RealaCarsona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara and Me have been travelling together through time and space becoming closer and closer, after a well deserved night out, they wake up to a shocking guest on their TARDIS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Clara awoke with a start, her head aching with the worst hangover she had ever experienced in her life. She tried to stand but found Me draped over her waist, currently using her left arm as a pillow.

She tried to reach over with her right hand to shake her friend awake but was unable to move that one either, she looked down and what she saw caused her to freeze at the impossibility of it. Her confusion only lasted a few moments before she screamed at the top of her lungs, causing the other two people lying on the floor of the TARDIS with her to jolt awake.

"Clara what's wro-?" Me trailed off as she saw who Clara was staring at.

A perfect double of Clara blearily wiped sleep from her eyes as she stared in confusion at the original Clara Oswald.

"Wait, who the hell are you?!" They both shouted simultaneously.

"You first!" Clara glared at what she assumed was one of her echoes, unless she had another set of clones she wasn't aware of.

"Oswin Oswald, but this doesn't make sense because I-"

"Died saving a man called the Doctor?"

Oswin's jaw dropped as Clara hit the nail on the head, Me for her part just looked back and forth in confusion.

"How did you know?"

Clara laughed shakily, in complete shock as to how this had happened. "It's a bit of a long story."

"Well I'm not really going anywhere, being dead and all."

"Actually," Me cut in, poking at Oswin's arm, "I don't think you are."

Clara's eyes widened even more which Oswin hadn't known was possible, "Is that what I look like when I'm surprised?"

Me laughed, "If you think that's bad you should see her crying."

Oswin shook her head, "I think I'll pass thank you, explanation now?"

Clara took a deep breath, "Ok so, this being called the Great Intelligence jumped into the Doctors time stream and started killing him across his entire timeline. He was dying in front of me and I had to do something so I jumped in after him. The time winds tore me into millions of pieces and created...echoes across space and time, and their purpose was to save the Doctor."

Oswin's breath caught in her throat as the genius struggled to process what she had just been told, "You mean I...I'm not...I was born to die?"

Clara looked away guiltily, "I'm so sorry, I've never met any of the echoes before but I remember all of them, their lives, their deaths. I didn't know what else to do, he was dying! And I never really consider what it would feel like if one of you found out the truth."

Oswin went silent again for a long time and the other two for their part stayed silent, allowing her time to process the concept that essentially her whole life had been a lie.

"Ok then," Oswin whispered, a lot calmer than Clara thought she would be, "Discounting the first twenty four years of my life, which were apparently already mapped out and out of my control. Why am I back now? Am I going to die again or am I allowed to make my own choices this time around?"

Clara looked at Me helplessly who took pity on her, "Complete disclosure, we have no idea. Last night we were pretty drunk and it's all a blur. Maybe we'll find out or maybe we'll never know. But I think that you should stay with us, obviously that's if Clara agrees." She turned to her friend and looked at her expectantly.

Clara nodded, "I do, agree that is. If this is a second chance then you should definitely come with us. I remember what you said to the Doctor. Rescue me chin boy, and show me the stars. You crashed on your first flight out, come with us and see the stars that I know you dreamed of all your life."

Hope started to colour Oswin's face as she listened to Clara, "But, won't that make you uncomfortable travelling with yourself?"

Clara smiled at her, "We're not exactly the same. For example, I might be clever but I'm not a genius like you. And I'm atrocious at flirting and I definitely remember you being super smooth when you ran into the TARDIS crew on the Dalek Asylum."

Oswin grinned, "Ok then, show me the stars!"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey so, this is a pretty fast update for me. They won't all be this quick because I have a lot of commitments but because it's the Christmas holidays I should be able to post quite a bit over the next two weeks. So, if you are reading this, THANK YOU! Haha. But what I really wanted to ask is, I wan't this to be very much what people want to read so if you have any suggestions or ideas. Such as plot points, or character cameos let me know. I might not use everything but Ill do my best to answer people and use as many suggestions as possible. Thanks again for reading guys! :)

At Oswin's words Clara smiled at her and finally pulled herself up to her feet, offering a hand to her double.

"Thanks for the help." Me grumbled from the floor.

"Sorry," Clara said, fake apologetically, "Oh right, Oswin this is Me."

"Me? That's your name?" Oswin asked containing a snigger, eyebrow raised at the immortal.

Me glared from her place on the other side of Clara, "I have outlived all my other names, and lost anyone I ever became attached to. All that is left is me, so it seemed appropriate that I made that my name. The only identification I need."

Oswin suddenly became thoughtful and Clara looked on in curiosity about what had stopped any further teasing remark Oswin was about to make. "I think I understand where you are coming from with that. Before I left home I had a middle name, I cast it aside when I left because it was a tie to my old life, one that I never wanted to go back to."

Me smiled at her, somewhat reluctantly after her previous teasing, "Names hold our past, the easiest way to escape what was before is to become someone new."

Almost a minute past with the two of them just looking at each other, deep in thought, before Clara threw up her hands in exasperation.

"This is all very touching, but are you intending to stand here until one of you dies of old age?" She asked with a pointed look towards Oswin.

"Wait, why would I die and not you as well?"

"Because technically I am one second away from death. And I can't die unless I go back to the moment of my death." Clara smiled smugly.

Oswin huffed and folded her arms, "Great, I'm the mortal third wheel."

Both Clara and Me laughed at her childish actions before turning and walking towards the main console where Me expertly started flicking levers and pressing buttons.

"Where are we going?" Clara grinned in excitement, taking her usual place on the opposite side of the console to where Me was standing.

Oswin peered over their shoulder with interest, trying to understand the complex machine that it seemed was going to be her new home.

Me met Clara's gaze with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "What would be the fun in knowing?"

Both of the immortals started laughing gleefully as the console room suddenly lurched as the took off, whilst Oswin desperately grabbed for something to help her stay upright. That something being Clara's shoulder who adjusted her grip on the console to support both herself and the terrified looking echo of herself.

When the whirring of the console stopped Me hit a button to turn off the scanner before Clara could sneak a glimpse at where they were.

"No cheating Clara, shall we?"

Clara led them to the doors, which automatically swung open for her as she reached them. She patted the doors fondly as she passed through, Oswin unconsciously still maintaining a tight grip on her arm, which Clara ignored to spare Oswin embarrassment.

As they stepped through Oswin's eyes widened and she released Clara's arm.

Tears began to fill Clara's eyes when she say were they had landed but she quickly wiped them away before anyone had the chance to see.

They were stood in the exact same place as the Doctor had first brought her, the very first time she travelled with him.

Akhaten.

In front of them was the sun god that Clara had offered her leaf to and she was taken back to that moment, the first time she had really seen the Doctor, seen his strength and compassion. When he stayed behind alone to save a civilisation, telling her to take the young Queen of Years and run. When she had been unable to leave him, flying back to the temple, inspired by the people all singing to go back and help the man who had changed her life forever.

Me watched Clara carefully out of the corner of her eye, they had spent many nights talking about the Doctor, Clara had struggled so much with having to give up her best friend and Me knew that coming back here must be triggering intense memories.

She watched something in Clara's eyes change and she followed her gaze to see what had interrupted he trip down memory lane. They both watched together as Oswin sat on a rock and gazed out at the sky in wonder, her face a picture of childlike wonder.

"I never knew anything could be this beautiful." She sighed.

Clara laughed and went to sit next to her, "This is just the beginning, there's so much out there and we can see it all."

Me took a seat on the other side of Oswin, "Just wait until you see a black hole for the first time, or a star dying. I once had a discussion with the doctor," She paused, looking over the top of Oswins head to make sure Clara was ok with her talking about him, at her gentle nod she continued, "He said that stars dying was sad but I told him that it was both sad and beautiful. He doesn't like endings so he couldn't see it, nothing stays the same forever and the end of an era is often just as breathtaking as the beginning if you have the perspective to appreciate it."

Oswin tore her eyes away from the sky in front of her for just long enough to shoot Me a questioning glance.

"You were born to save the Doctor on the Asylum, and that was beautiful and amazing and the end of your life as it was. And now you're facing a new start. I guess what I'm saying is that you should be sad, but at the same time...see this for what it is. A second chance, a fresh opportunity."

She had whispered the last part, staring ahead at the sun for herself, when she looked back to the two girls next to her she suddenly felt uneasy when she saw that both Oswalds had started crying during her speech. To a point she was used to it with Clara, but seeing both at the same time was slightly unnerving.

Clara seemed to come out of her trance like state when she noticed Me staring at her uncomfortably and giggled, wiping away the tears.

"Come on then you two, the Doctors already saved this one, how about we go find some adventure?"

The other two smiled and nodded at her before clambering to their feet and heading back into the TARDIS.  
Clara remained outside alone for a few minutes gazing back to the temple facing the sun. She had loved the Doctor, still did. Not romantically but in the purest kind of friendship, and if asked to pin point the exact moment she had came to love him, she would say when he took on a monster the size of a sun to save others, knowing he couldn't win alone, but determined to try no matter the cost.

After one more deep breath she stepped into the TARDIS, her TARDIS, and finally let go of her old life.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Three in one day, I think this is my personal best :) Like I said in the previous chapters note, thank you for reading this and if you have any ideas at all I would love to hear them!

When Clara walked back onto the Tardis, neither of the other two said a word about the time she had taken. Instead they dived straight into planning where to go.

The discussion went on for a long time, all three of them had such varying ideas on what would make a fun and exciting day and in the end they just started shouting our random suggestion, hoping for one of the others to pounce on an idea.

It wasn't until Me sarcastically suggested camping that they actually got anywhere.

"No!" Groaned Clara, I can't deal with camping, all the bugs, ugh!"

"What's camping?" Oswin asked curiously, Me and Clara just turned to her, their jaws hanging open, how the hell could she not know what camping was?

"Well? Isn't anyone going to answer me?"

Eventually Me overcame her shock and hit Clara to get her to close her mouth. "It's where you go into the forest with a tent and then build a fire and sleep in your tent. It's all about being close to nature and you normally go with a group of friends or family."

Clara, who had apparently only just regained the ability to speak suddenly burst out, "How can you not know that though? Everyone's heard of camping!"

Oswin for her part just looked at Clara as though she had gone insane, "You have all my memories and you can't figure that out? Think about it, have I ever actually even stepped foot in a forest?"

Clara's brow furrowed as she thought back to Oswin's life before she realised that, no, Oswin had never even seen a tree.

"That's it! Me we're going camping!"

Now it was Me's turn to groan, "I can't believe this, I was being sarcastic!"

"I don't care, she's never been so that's what we're going to do. Set a course for somewhere without other humans, doesn't particularly matter where as long as there are trees. Come on Oswin."

Without explanation she grabbed Oswin's wrist and dragged her through the corridors of their Tardis towards a storeroom where she knew they would find everything they needed for their outing, leaving Me behind to pilot the Tardis to a suitable location.

They had been gone five minutes when they felt the Tardis land and heard Me calling for them, when she saw the two of them staggering back with their arms full of camping equipment she sniggered.

"So, how many people are actually coming on this trip then Clara?"

"Oh shut up, I like to be prepared."

Me didn't even address her, instead she just pulled open the door and shoved Clara out face first, sniggering again when she tripped and hit the floor.

"Last chance Oswin, we could close this door and just come back for her in a week."

Oswin laughed but took a step outside after Clara. Chuckling to herself Me followed ignoring Clara's request for help with all the junk she had decided to cart along with them.

They didn't walk far, mainly because it was impossible to carry everything Clara had decided was necessary between two people, Me was still refusing to help, being opposed to camping in general.

Luckily, there was a suitable sized clearing less that a five minute walk from the Tardis that Clara instantly deemed acceptable. She soon took charge and started barking orders at the other two who reluctantly obeyed, deterred from refusing by the quite frankly frightening look on Clara's face any time one of them went to step out of line.

She quickly sent Me off to collect firewood and then build the fire, based on the fact that as a Viking she was once accustomed to how to do it properly.  
Once Me had wandered off, silently celebrating not having to pitch the tents, Clara turned back to Oswin.

"Do you have any idea how tents work? Like, at all?"

Oswin grinned sheepishly, "Honestly no, but if you give me the instructions I will in like two minutes, genius remember?"

Clara sighed and handed her the little piece of paper that came inside the tent bags, patiently waiting for her to read through the information.

It didn't take long and then it was handed back to her just before Oswin masterly took charge of putting up their tents.

They had decided on three single tents arranged so they could all lay on their stomachs and stick their heads through the doors to talk.

Before long, all three were set, all in all Clara was impressed with how quickly it had gotten done, especially with the help of someone who hadn't even known what a tent was that morning.

Dramatically Oswin threw herself down on the sleeping bag in her tent, "We did it. It was hard work but we pulled through."

Clara rolled her eyes, "Going to give a speech?"

Oswin grinned and peeked through her fingers, "About what, how I'm the more attractive twin?"  
"We're identical so good job with that! And twin? You're basically a clone of me, no family relationship."  
Gasping, Oswin put her hand to her chest, "You have wounded me! How can I go on after this insult!"

"I'm sure you'll manage, if there's anything you've inherited from me it's egomania."

Suddenly there was a rustle in the bushes and both of their heads snapped up.

"What was that?" Clara could swear she could hear fear colouring Oswin's voice.

"It's probably just the wind, don't worry." She whispered soothingly.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Then why are you whispering?" Oswin challenged, and Clara could definitely see the fear now, not that she was surprised, this was a completely new experience for the other girl.

"Well I-"

A twig snapping cut her off, both of them suddenly held their breath, wondering where Me had gotten to.

"What if what ever it is has caught and ate her?!"

Clara shushed Oswin impatiently, straining to hear anything that might give any indication of what what lurking in the dark so close to their campsite. "I really wish that Me had made the camp fire already." She whispered to herself. "Oswin?" She called softly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to go out and see what's out there."

"What?!" She hurriedly shushed her again, Oswin took a deep breath before continuing in a whisper, "Are you insane, what if it got Me? What if it gets you too? I will kill you if you die on me and leave me alone."

"Yes, cause that makes sense, are you sure you're a genius?"

Oswin growled at her and jerked her head to indicate that Clara should just get on with it, if she wanted to get eaten so bad then that was her problem.

Burying her head under a pillow she waited with baited breath for Clara to scream that something was eating her alive but instead after a few seconds she heard laughter.

"Oswin, come out."

"Is it safe?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Pinky swear."

"Well ok, but if you've broken a pinky swear then you know your going to hell right?"  
Carefully she clambered out of the tent and squinted her eyes looking for Clara, she felt a hand touch her arm but another clamped over her mouth before she could scream.

"It's me, calm down," On hearing Clara's voice her breathing evened out again, "Give it a minute and your eyes will adjust to the dark."

She soon saw what Clara meant, after a few minutes he started to be able to pick out the different shaped of the trees and their tents, rather than the blanket of darkness that she had been seeing up to this point.

"Ok, so what was so funny." She murmured once she could actually see where Clara was standing.

"There." Clara said pointing.

When Oswin looked she saw a small furry creature sniffling around in the leaves at the bottom of one of the trees they were camping near.

"What is that?"

"It's a badger, as long as we don't piss it off we should be fine."

At this point Me suddenly appeared carrying armfuls of firewood, when it caught sight of her crashing through the undergrowth the badger disappeared.

Still grumbling about having to go camping in the first place, she threw down the load she was carrying and sat next to it to start building the fire inside the circle of tents the other two had made.

"So, what did I miss?"

"Nothing much." Oswin said, at the same time as Clara said, "Oswin was nearly scared to death by a badger."

Me just grinned at her, "Don't worry too much, I'm sure it was plotting to kill you. Nothing to be embarrassed about."

Sulkily she crossed her arms and glared at the two of them, "Laugh it up, but I will be getting revenge for you laughing at me."

Expertly Me coaxed the fire to life and soon it became a glowing source of warmth, which they were all glad of as the temperature had dropped from when they had arrived.

"How long are we planning to stay then Clara?"

"No idea." She grinned, sticking her feet next to the fire to warm her toes through her boots. "Three weeks."

"Very funny." Me spat out through gritted teeth, I have had enough of forests for a thousand lifetimes, try three days, and that's only because we're friends."

Oswin smiled contently to herself as she curled up in her sleeping bag next to the fire like a cat.

"What are you so happy about?" Me narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion, poking her with a stick.

"Ow! Nothing!" She exclaimed, batting away the stick Me was using as a weapon, "It's just nice, I didn't really have all that many friends growing up, and my family sucked, this is the first time I've ever really done anything like this."

"Yes, well, enjoy it while it lasts. I'm sure we'll end up in a whole lot of trouble before too long, that's the way this usually goes." Clara sighed, just as dramatic as Oswin had been earlier.

Me turned back from un-tieing her shoes to make a sly comment about Clara's inability to stay out of danger but was quickly shushed by Clara, looking towards the newest member of their odd little gang of misfits, she saw that Oswin had already fallen asleep.

"She's like the little sister I never wanted." She joked to Clara. "I take it we're both going to bed then."  
Clara smiled and nodded at her, settling down into her own tent. "Night Me."

"Night Clara."

A/N: I know this was a peaceful chapter again but I promise things are going to start getting a bit more exciting in the next one. Reviews make me write quicker so pls love me and review haha, I will do my best to answer any messages or reviews.


	4. Chapter 4

For the second time in as many days, Clara woke up not remembering what had happened the night before. At first her confused brain told her that she must be sitting in front of a mirror but she soon realised that it was actually Oswin sat opposite her.

They were both tied to chairs in a dimly lit room. Straining her ears she could hear the wind rustling through the tree which led her to the conclusion that they hadn't moved far.

With concern she noticed the bruising and blood colouring Oswin's temple presumably from being knocked out, from the aching pain on her own head she assumed that she had received the same treatment.

"Oswin?" She called quietly, "Oswin, are you ok?"

When she received no response she became even more worried and stretched out her leg so she could nudge the other girl with her foot.

Oswin's eyelids flickered but she still didn't wake up so Clara kicked her, hard.

"Ow!" Oswin cried, jolting awake, "Why'd you kick me?!"

She just stayed silent, waiting for Oswin to realise the situation they were in for herself.

"Clara? What's going on?"

"I don't know, but I promise it's going to be alright." She lied feeling responsible for the echo she had created.

Oswin nodded shakily and shook her arms, trying to see if the ropes could be loosened. "Hey! Where's Me?"

Clara suddenly got an uncomfortable worried feeling in her stomach. "I don't know, if they had her why wouldn't she be here with us?"

"Well don't worry too much," Oswin tried to be calming as Clara became slightly panicked, "I mean, she's still immortal so-"

She trailed off when she saw the ill feeling on Clara's face.

"She might live forever, but she could still be killed."

Oswin's eyes went wide and she tried again to shake her arms free but before she could make any progress the door swung open with an creepy creaking noise.

A tall figure walked in, whoever it was had to duck their head to fit through the door frame.

Without a word they circled the two girls, to Clara it almost seemed as though they were being studies.

"What do you know of our plans?"

The voice was gruff, almost animalistic and they couldn't tell whether the person, if they were a person, was male or female.

"Plan what plan?" Clara asked in confusion, subtly shaking her head to indicate Oswin should stay quiet.

A dark, throaty chuckle floated from the shadows, "You ask what plan? Why would you be here if not to stop us?"

"Camping?" Clara asked, as though she was questioning herself.

Oswin rolled her eyes, clearing her throat, "Look we don't really know or care what you're up too so just let us go and then you can return to destroying the world of whatever."

"I thought you said you didn't know our plan?" The voice seemed to grin smugly, as though it had cleverly tricked an answer out of them.

"Wait what?!" Clara yelled, "Why do you want to do that? And I though I told you not to say anything." The last part was snapped at Oswin who had unwittingly gotten them into even more trouble than they were already in.

Oswin didn't even try to act ashamed, instead she just stared into the darkness on the edge of the room to try and pick out details of their captor.

"You are rather uniformed for someone who is meant to be trying to stop us."

Now it was Clara's turn to roll her eyes, "Are you deaf? We were camping, we didn't even know you were here and we certainly don't know anything about your stupid plan."

"Really?" It scoffed, "Three girls with a mysterious ship show up and you expect us to believe that you just happened to stumble across us."

Oswin nodded thoughtfully, "Well when you put it like that I suppose it does sound kind off ridiculous. So you know about our friend do you? I don't suppose you happen to know where she is?"

It started laughing, and when Clara shut her eyes and made a pained sound it only laughed harder.

"Your little friend is dead, she was nothing compared to the might of my warriors."

Oswin looked at Clara worriedly, realising that she was too upset to pick up on what it had said.

"Your warriors? So you're in charge then?"

Suddenly it sprang forward kneeling in front of her and pushing her chair backwards. Her legs flailed awkwardly as she tried to lean as far away from it as possible. They were practically nose to nose but she still couldn't make out any details under the hood it was wearing.

"Little human," It crooned mockingly, "You ask as though I am obligated to answer. Tell me, why should I answer any of your questions."

"Dying wish?" She answered defiantly, holding her breath, anticipating the killing blow.

Instead it laughed at her, trailing a clawed finger down her cheek, "Fine, you are right I am going to kill you. So, as your dying wish, as you put it. Ask three questions, you might as well know what you're dying for. And to answer your first question, I am in charge."

"How many of you are there?"

"Ten, not including me of course."

"What do you actually want?"

Almost gently it set the chair she was sitting on down. Circling them again. Once it was out of the way Oswin met Clara's terrified eyes. She had hoped to live a little while longer before her second death, but at least she hadn't been converted into a monster this time. And, she wasn't going to die alone.

"At the very base of this planets crust are several deposits of incredibly valuable ores and minerals. Unfortunately for the apes living on it, the most cost effective way to gather these is to blow the planet to pieces and collect the goods from the wreckage."

"Money?" Clara cut in bitterly, "That's what this is all about?"

Clicking it's tongue at her it shook it's head, "Now, now, I said three questions and three I've answered. Now it's time to uphold your end."

"Our end?" She asked nervously.

"Dying." It snarled, raising an arm to bash open their skull, but before it could they heard gunfire from outside and the door was kicked in.

"Sorry I'm late." Me called victoriously, as she took a straight shot at the creature and it hit the floor in an explosion of dust.

Hurriedly, she rushed over to them and cut the ropes, enabling them to stand. Clara managed fairly well but Oswin was shaky, apparently having been hit harder over the head than Clara.  
Without fuss Me ducked under her arm as she stumbled and caught Oswin around her waist to support her as they left the small cabin they had been held in.

Clara quickly counted off ten bodies, and when she felt safe that there was no immediate danger she turned to Me.

"What the hell happened?"

As they walked back towards the Tardis Me explained what had been going on since the previous night when they had all went to sleep. The camp had been attacked suddenly and without warning, Me was a light sleeper and had reacted first, springing out of the tent and taking up a long knife slashing at the strange beings that had stolen into their camp in the middle of the night. They had gotten to Oswin first as she had just started to register that something was wrong, one of them had kicked her viciously in the head to keep her down. When Clara leapt forward in retaliation they had caught her across the face with the butt of a gun. Realising that she was vastly outnumbered and had no chance there and then, Me retreated quickly, resolving to follow them and make a plan when they led her back to their base.

Once they arrived at the cabin she watched them take the two girls inside and just under an hour later the leader had walked in, presumably when it heard Oswin waking up. Then Me carefully crept around, gathering their weapons and taking them out one by one whilst the leader was distracted. Once she had taken them all she came through the door to get Oswin and Clara.

By the time she had finished explaining they had reached the doors of their Tardis, which was still stuck as a diner. Clara made a mental note to get Me to fix it as soon as possible.

Once they were inside, Me got Oswin close enough to support herself by leaning on the console.

"Thank you." Clara laughed, attacking hugging Me, who looked uncomfortable. She was made even more uncomfortable when after getting her bearing Oswin joined the hug.

"Yeah. Thanks for not letting us get eaten or anything!"

Awkwardly she patted them both on the back until they let go of her.

"Yes well, we're a team now aren't we? Plus, I've already lived to the end of everything alone, I don't fancy doing it again."

Clara laughed at her and nudged her shoulder, "Don't worry, we don't intend on going anywhere, I could do with some sleep though."

Me nodded enthusiastically, "I know what you mean. Oh, and I got the Tardis to add a room for Oswin on the same corridor as ours so she won't have to sleep on the floor of the console room again."

Oswin grinned, "It wasn't all bad, we had a very comfy pillow." She joked, giving a pointed look at Clara.

They walked slowly back to their rooms. Clara and Me taking the opportunity to point out where everything on their Tardis was to Oswin. When they reached the corridor their rooms were on they all said goodnight tiredly and went straight in without another word. Collapsing into bed.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry about the wait between updates but I've had an awful amount of college work to do over the last week. But I'm all caught up now so I should be able to write a bit faster.

"A little warning might have been nice." River commented casually as she slid into the seat opposite to Clara.

Clara just stared speechless at River Song, who was not meant to be aware off her continued survival.

"Oh do close your mouth dear, you'll catch flies."

"How are you- What are you- What?!" Clara half yelled.

"You're lucky the Doctor doesn't remember you to come looking for you because you're not subtle dear, and I'd have liked some warning about the fresh regeneration cycle."

Clara shook her head bewildered, "Ok, before I say anything else, where exactly are we timeline wise?"

River smiled and winked knowingly, "Oh we're post library now Clara, I just had to wait long enough for us to both be running on the same linear timeline. Cut off from the Doctor and for the first time I don't have to use a diary to see what's safe to say to someone."

"So...Trenzalore?"

"Has happened, I'm at the same point as you so you can speak freely, although I would have like the heads up about his new face. It caused quite the embarrassing episode the final time I saw him before going to the library."

Me didn't even bat an eyelid as she came back from the bar at the far end of the restaurant to see River Song. Instead she just handed Clara a drink and sat down.

"Professor, it's nice to see you again."

"Wait. You've met?" Clara asked looking back and forth between them in confusion.

"Many times," River laughed, "For the longest time Ashildr cleaned up in the Doctors wake, with both of us crossing over his timeline so much, it was bound to happen sooner or later."

Clara turned to Me sulkily, "How come she gets to use your original name and I don't?"

She waved a hand shushing her, "Not now Clara, so Professor, if you're dead then how can you possibly be here."

In answer River reached across the table and took her hand so that Me could feel how cold it was, "The Doctor saved me by uploading me to a computer, once technology advanced enough it wasn't hard to get myself downloaded into an artificial body. I left a backup on the library systems of course, but I can roam again to my hearts content."

Gently Clara prodded at the hand that River was still holding out, "That's so weird, you look...normal."

"So does your evil twin that we've got living with us. Hey, maybe she's a robot too!" Me sniped sarcastically.

"Evil twin?" River asked, a bemused expression on her face.

"She not evil," Clara groaned, with a long suffering sigh, "Me's just sulking because Oswin decided that a prank war would brighten up our Tardis and Me was the first unsuspecting victim."

"Ok, but twin?"

"Do you remember when I jumped into the time stream and copies of me were scattered across the universe? Well, somehow we went out one night, got drunk, and when we woke up we'd aquired one of them. Oswin is the echo that got turned into a Dalek and saved the Doctor on the Dalek Asylum."

River grinned and deftly stole Clara's drink from her hand, taking a quick sip she handed it back, "Is there any way you could possibly give me a lift, seeing as how you've got a Tardis now, I burnt out the Vortex Manipulator I was using and without it I'm stuck here."

"Yeah sure," Clara smiled, "That's not a problem."

"Of course not, just watch out for scheming demons once you're on because there's no telling when she'll strike." Me muttered darkly.

Clara laughed at how serious Me was taking Oswin's joking that so far had been relatively harmless. "C'mon them, we better get back anyway. We've been gone a while."

Me sighed tiredly but allowed Clara to take her arm and pull her up and back towards the back of the restaurant where they had stashed the Tardis, River followed a small ways behind them, amused at how they were acting. Her amusement grew when they reached the Tardis and they actually did rock, paper, scissors to see who would open the doors.

"I like the design for the exterior." River remarked as Me steeled herself after losing to Clara in a best out of three game. With interest she peered around the side of the antique wardrobe that the Tardis was disguised as.

Clara laughed, "It was Oswin's idea, it's the wardrobe to Narnia in the movie. None of us could really agree but then she suggested this and it made us all laugh so...yeah."

"Ok, count of three." Clara and River looked around to see Me holding the door handle at arms length with the handle as far away from her as possible.

"One...two...three!" She yanked open the door and jumped backwards, not a moment too soon either as an alligator launched itself at her face and she gave a high pitched squeal and lost her footing. Just as it was about to snap it's jaws around her head it blinked out of existence and from inside the Tardis they heard Oswin's laughter as she ran away from the console room.

"I'm going to kill her!" Me yelled as she took Clara's offered hand and then raced into the Tardis to chase Oswin.

River and Clara just looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

"Did you hear her scream?" Clara giggled gesturing for River to walk in first.

"I did," River chuckled as she walked in and looked around the white console room. "I never thought I'd hear a sound like that from her."

"Yes well, Oswin's had her in her cross-hairs for a few days now so she's constantly on edge. That's actually why we went out tonight."

Clara beckoned to River to follow her and then led her through a set of double doors on the opposite side to the front doors, fondly patting the console as she went past. Through the doors was a common room type area that Clara had gotten the Tardis to make for them, with large comfortable couches and a small kitchen.

With a sigh she threw herself down on the couch.

"So where are we dropping you off then?"

"I don't actually know, I haven't really considered what I'm going to do now."

"You know you could stay?"

River smiled at Clara, "You'd let me?"

"Of course I would, and if Me's your friend then there's the majority vote."

"Thank you Clara, it'll be nice to see the stars again, it's just not the same inside a computer."

"That seems to be a running theme for us, Oswin had it the same, she only saw the universe through computers."

Clara yawned and stretched her back, wincing as it cracked loudly, "I'm sorry I forgot to ask, do you sleep now?"

"I don't have to but I can do something very similar to sleep by going into a sort of standby mode."

"Awesome, well it's late so I can show you to you're room on the way to bed if you want."

River smiled at her, standing and offering a hand for Clara to pull herself to her feet. "That sounds great, shall we?"

Clara quickly led her through the various twists and turns to the corridor that all the girls rooms were located on, "Here, let me know if you need anything ok? I'm in the room two doors down."

As River opened her mouth to reassure her again that she was fine and had everything she needed, Oswin flew around the corner and slammed into Clara knocking them both to the ground.

She sprung up quickly whipping her head around to check for signs of Me, "Hey I'm Oswin!" She said to River, who was about to reply in turn when Me suddenly appeared and Oswin took off again with Me hot on her heels.

"Ow!" Clara groaned as River helped her up once again laughing.

"Is it always like this on your Tardis."

"Only on days ending in y."

"You'd better hide quickly before they come back and run you over two, we all usually get up around seven so feel free to join us for coffee in the common room then." Clara smiled as she rubbed her wrist where she had fallen on it when Oswin knocked her over.

"I will goodnight Clara."

"Goodnight River."

As soon as River's door had closed Clara quickly darted for her own room and slammed the door behind her before either of the other two inhabitants of the Tardis could reappear and cause trouble before she went to bed.

The light flickered on automatically and she groaned at what she saw. Her entire room had been turned into a gigantic ball pit.

With a sigh she strode to her chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of pyjamas. Warily opening her door she crossed the corridor and went into Oswin's room which was predictably untouched.

"Well if she finds it so funny then she can sleep in the ball pit that used to be my bedroom." She muttered despairingly as she locked the door and set it so that no one could get in unless it was an emergency. Leaving Oswin and Me to battle it out all night, to their hearts content.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This is by far my longest chapter with well over two and half thousand words which I'm really proud of :) I wasn't even going to post a new chapter today but I was so happy about the people who followed this story yesterday, you know who you are and THANK YOU, that I just had to write a new one! And also, if anyone reading, if they have time, could leave me a review just saying what they like or don't like that would be brilliant! I love writing this but I really want other people to like it too and so if people tell me which kinds of things they can like I can lean towards that more. Thank you again to anyone who's following this and also to anyone who reviews I'll do my best to get back to you ASAP!

Clara was woken to panicked hammering on Oswin's door and the Tardis humming at her in irritation at whoever was trying to break it apart with their fists.  
"Don't worry I'll stop them." She mumbled sympathetically as she crawled out of the bed and stumbled to the door. As it swung open Oswin ducked inside and slammed it shut again.

"Why the hell are you in my room! No ones meant to be able to get into anyone else's rooms Clara!"

"My Tardis, he let me in."

"He?"

"Shush! What are you doing still banging around at..." She trailed off and looked around for a clock, freezing when she saw one, "Half five in the morning!" She screamed at her double.

"Calm down will you, if you weren't in my room you wouldn't have been disturbed."

"Really? So you don't remember what you did to my room yesterday afternoon."

A look of confusion passed over Oswin's face but was soon replaced with realization. "Oh."

"Oh, that's all you got?"

"Why are you hiding anyway?"

"Me's got a tazer."

Clara groaned, "I can't believe this, what if I go out and she thinks I'm you."

Oswin grinned and Clara quickly backed away from the genius who was suddenly very close to her, with dread she realized that she had just been back up into the door. Oswin yanked it open and pushed her out before she could react and she was faced by an extremely pissed off Me who was wielding one of the most bizarre devices Clara had ever seen.

"You're in trouble now you little freak!"

"Stop! It's Clara, you know, the person you are friends with and don't want to murder! And what the hell is that?! She said you had a tazer."

Me backed off slightly when she realized that it was actually Clara she was about to injure.

"It was, I modified it a bit."

"A bit?"

"Well, a lot."

"Have you two been chasing each other all night?"

Me smiled creepily, making Clara shiver and wish she hadn't asked, "Nope, I got her cornered last night in the pool and it turns out that. One. Miss Genius can't swim. And, two. She's both terrified of water and any aquatic animals that may be residing in it. I flooded the pool so it just covered all the floor, and then I popped out to collect some eels and dropped them on her."

Clara sighed in disapproval, "That was a bit harsh don't you think?"

Me shook her head in a strong denial, "No, because I haven't told you what she did when she got out."

"Go on then, what could she have possibly done that absolves you of any guilt?"

"I went for a shower because I figured I was safe for the night and had somehow messed with all the plumbing and instead of water it was this horrible green sludge that stank and was absolute hell to wash out of my hair."

"And at that point-?"

"I used your shower and then made this." Me explained simply, holding up the device she was carrying.

"Well," Clara smiled sweetly, taking it from her hand, "It's almost morning and I don't want River to leave her room in the morning and find herself in the middle of this. So go make some breakfast, since your so wide awake while I talk to Oswin. Because neither of you are allowed to pull anything till at least noon and I'm confiscating this because it will most likely kill her if you ever get the chance to use it."

Me glared at her disgruntled but soon left for the kitchen when Clara made shooing motions towards her with her hand.

As soon as she was certain Me had actually left, she knocked on Oswin's door.

"Like hell I'm gonna fall for that!" She heard the muffled yell through the door.

"Open up you idiot. It's Clara."

Oswin threw open the door beaming, "So, my favourite sister in the whole world has saved me!"

"You don't have any sister, even I'm not."

"Maybe but it's a lot less confusing to explain, how's you get the death machine off her?" She asked nodding at the device in Clara's hand.

"I took it, and told her the rules," She said sternly, ignoring mutterings about her being a killjoy and giving them rules, "You need to take a break till noon so you don't freak out River, who's staying with us by the way. Also this," Clara said slowly waving the "death machine" in Oswin's face, "Is not on, understand? Non lethal only because I am not having you two kill each other."

"Fine...Mum!"

"Ugh, don't say that it makes me feel old!" She yelled over her shoulder as she walked away.

"Well you are!" Oswin yelled back after her as she went back inside her room to go get changed out of her clothes that smelled of fish and the goop she had filled Me's pipes with.

When Clara walked into the kitchen she was met with the smell of a delicious cooked breakfast and sat down moaning appreciatively, "Now I remember, this is the reason I keep you around." She grinned at Me who was busy tossing pancakes and threw a good humoured glare at her over her shoulder.

"Just my cooking? Not saving your life?"

Clara laughed as Me placed a plate in front of her, "Well sure that's useful too but I'd rather face the Daleks alone than lose your cooking at this point to be honest."

"It must be good." River exclaimed as she wandered through the door and took a seat next to Clara, smiling appreciatively at Me when a plate of her own was handed over.

Me flicked off the stove as she sat on the other side of the table opposite her, dropping a plate in the space next to her for Oswin when she finally showed up. True to form, Oswin poked her head through the door as soon as food was allocated for her.

"Just to check, she gave you the memo as well about the truce, right?" She asked Me nervously.

"Sure." Me grinned wickedly as Oswin nervously stepped into the room, glancing around for traps.

"Oh just sit down." Clara snapped in irritation, "If she does anything then she's in trouble but if you don't sit down I'll throw you in the pool again myself."

Oswin glared at her, betrayed, "That wasn't funny." She huffed throwing herself down into her seat, "Those things were slimy and disgusting. And! They tried to drown me!"

"No they didn't." Me snorted, "They just flapped around pathetically while you screamed and tried to climb up the wall to get away."

"Yeah and I found crawl spaces that led straight into where the plumbing is so that went great for you didn't it?" Oswin smirked, leaning towards Me confrontationally.

"Enough!" Clara yelled, slamming her hand down onto the table, only just managing to hold back a smile when both of them jumped out of their skin. "Unless you have something nice to say to each other, sit quietly and eat."

River grinned into her mug as the two feuding crew members were chastised by Clara, the look on Ashildr's face almost cracked her up, she had never see the immortal look so indignant in all the time she had know her.

"Well she started it." Oswin sulked childishly.

Clara glared at her across the table, "Actually you did by starting this ridiculous war so you have no room to complain. Oh, and I'm warning you both now, if either of you get me, again." She sighed with a pointed look at Oswin, "There's going to be trouble."

River laughed aloud when both Me and Oswin rolled their eyes in unison, but they both nodded and leaned forwards to continue eating. Although, Oswin couldn't help herself and switched her plate with Clara's just in case Me had actually tampered with it. Clara, for her part, just raised an eyebrow but didn't complain.

"So," River cut in, dispelling the tension that had built up between the three of them. "What's happening today then?"

Oswin stared at her aghast, "You want us to have plans on a Sunday?"

Clara laughed and turned to River, "These two are lazy and rarely surface on Sundays, we usually just have breakfast and then they go back to bed whilst I head out and pick up anything we need for the week." She explained, laughing again at Me agreeing nod when she mentioned bed.

River laughed with her, "Well you're certainly running a very different Tardis to the Doctor, I don't think he's taken a day of his whole life, much less one every week."

"He's TimeLord, we are all human, or at least we started that way." Oswin cut it, sticking her tongue out at Me who flicked a solitary baked bean at her in response.

"We still don't know what you are freak." Me muttered at Oswin who glared at her. "For all we know you're a robot too."

"Wait who's a robot?" Oswin looked round in confusion, her eyes settling on River who was smiling knowingly, "Wow, when's that tech from?"

"Never mind that Oz." Clara laughed at her as she leaned across to one of the drawers in the kitchen counter, pulling out a notepad and pen. "Does anyone want anything in particular when I go out today? Or is it just the usual top up."

"Silly string." Oswin burst out immediately, her grin widening when Me groaned.  
Clara rolled her eyes as well but she wrote it down, unwilling to get into an argument over silly string that early in the morning. "Me?"

"Marbles." She said calmly, as though she had just asked for something completely normal, rather than something ridiculous. "Oh, and I could do with some more of that Mexican cheese you found the other week Clars."

"Cheese and marbles, got it. River?"

River looked thoughtful as she chewed on her pancakes, "I could do with a new diary actually, I don't actually need one to keep things straight any more but it's become a habit now."

Clara nodded as she wrote it down. "Ok, a plain one? Because I'll go into London and get a fancy one from this amazing place that does hand bound diaries if you want."  
"That sounds great." River smiled appreciatively.

"Awesome," She beamed, standing up, "I'm gonna head out then, if either of them cause trouble before lunch time tell me when I get back."

She quickly ducked out of the room before Oswin and Me could start throwing things and walked back through to the console room laughing.

It was mornings like this that she missed the Doctor least, at times she even forgot to be sad, just for a few seconds but with every snipe or joke from her new family, things got a little easier.

Absent-mindedly she ran her free hand over the console as she programmed in the coordinate, she had never understood the Doctors relationship with his Tardis until she had gotten a Tardis of her own, now she understood why he always spoke of the Tardis as a living thing, with moods and feelings.

She barely even felt a shift as her Tardis landed in 21st century London on a perfectly normal Sunday afternoon, River had been right of course, the Doctor had always left the breaks on and so his landings were always far too rough, although she supposed that that had been part of the charm.

Wandering around on her own was always one of her favourite parts of the week because it was the only time she allowed herself to forget everything and just be a normal person for a few hours. Unknown to the others she always finished the shopping within the first half hour and dropped everything back at the Tardis, then she wandered anywhere and everywhere, treating herself to lunch at the finest restaurant and on the way back, always indulging herself with a brand new pair of shoes. Something she had to keep a closely guarded secret from Oswin and Me because the three of them shared the same shoe size and there was no way she was sharing her purchases with either of them.

However, for the first Sunday since she had taken on the weekly shop, her day ended in a surprise when she walked around the corner to find none other than Missy leaning against the side of Clara's Tardis.

"Hello again dear, got out of that Dalek alright did you?"

Clara was speechless and they stood staring at each other for a long moment before Missy impatiently gave up on waiting, "Are you not going to invite me in Clara? You really don't have any manners at all do you?"

Clara just stared at Missy in disbelief, "Why the hell should I even talk to you after everything you've done? Much less let you in my Tardis! Even when you were helping on Skaro you ended up screwing me over."

Missy huffed and rolled her eyes, "Have you never heard of the scorpion and the frog?"

"No." Clara spat out folding her arms.

"Well, a scorpion wanted to cross a river and so he asked a frog for a lift on his back."

"How is this relevant?"

"Quiet, I'm getting to it," She shushed her impatiently, "So. The frog didn't believe it and quizzed the scorpion, saying that why should it trust it because it would probably just kill the frog anyway. But the scorpion assured it that no, it just wanted to cross the river. And the frog could tell it was being truthful so it gave in and allowed the scorpion to crawl onto it's back. But, when they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog and when it cried out that they were both going to die, all the scorpion said was...it's in my nature."

"Brilliant." Clara sighed sarcastically, "Thanks for that, it really changed my life." Although secretly she was kind of intrigued by whatever point Missy was attempting to make. She really couldn't help it, no matter what, there was just something about Missy that drew people in and make her likeable, even despite the persistent murder attempts.

"No, you don't get it. Fighting with the Doctor, always betraying him, that's my nature. I can't help myself dear. But he's not here so I'm almost one hundred percent sure I won't turn on you." She giggled, throwing her arm over Clara's shoulders and pointing her towards the Tardis, "So...?"

"Fine, fine, just get off me!" Clara yelled, wriggling away from her, "But you're on your own against the others."

"You've agreed, they can't kick me off." Missy giggled and tapped Clara's nose.

"That's not what I mean," Clara groaned, swatting away Missy's hand, "Oswin started a prank war and Me joined in and now it's just generally not safe, and I'm not getting pulled in by trying to protect you."

"Maybe I'll join in with them, did you think about that?"

Clara sighed despairingly, "Look I'll vouch for you and you can stay as long as you don't try anything but there's one condition."

"Hmm?" Missy raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Don't tell them that I didn't really spend the entire day shopping for the food, ok?"

Missy laughed and shook the offered hand, "Deal, but I'm surprised at you Clara, lying isn't what nice girls do!"

"Shut up." She grumbled, "Come on then."

Clara swung open the doors and stepped inside, but she had lost track at time and was frozen in place by what she saw.  
"Now this is what I call a party." Missy remarked from behind her.

The entire console room was trashed, with home made paper confetti flung every where and paper streamers generally proclaiming Me as the ruler of various planets and races. Oswin had apparently retaliated to Me's paper propaganda by setting fire to it and so there was smoke every where and fire extinguisher foam that River was wading towards Clara and Missy through with a defeated look in her eyes.

"They did what you said, they waited until exactly one minute past twelve and then all hell broke loose, I didn't even see it coming, they were in their rooms scheming until an alarm clock suddenly started blaring suddenly and they charged."

Clara held a hand over her eyes and counted to ten before taking a deep breath.

"OSWIN! ME!"


	7. Chapter 7

Since she had gotten home Clara had been avoided by the warring girls, who were truly terrified of her at this point in time. To say she had reacted badly to the devastation Me and Oswin had caused was an understatement and her mood just kept declining every time she stumbled across another area of their war zone.

They had been forced to endure over half an hour of her yelling at them, barely pausing for breath, before she finally banished them to the opposite side of the Tardis whilst she cooked, although the look in her eye caused them to suspect that their food may very well be tampered with, or not arrive at all.

However, as soon as they had pulled a disappearing act and ran from her, she quickly closed the door to the kitchen behind her and started laughing. Much to the amusement of River and Missy who had both taken seats at the table, warily watching for another outburst.

"I'm sorry," Clara laughed as she noted the look of confusion they were both sporting, "But I just can't get over Me's behaviour."

"Not Oswin's?" River remarked curiously.

"Well no." She said, pulling up a chair on the opposite side to Missy, with River at the head of the table. "Oswin is essentially going through her teenage years right now. She may be twenty six but her childhood was very restrictive and her parents were controlling. She's been given more freedom than she knows what to do with and her sense of humour has took on a life of it's own. Me, on the other hand, has lived to the end of everything. She is by far the oldest person on this Tardis, but for some reason she reverts back to a teenager herself whenever Oswin's around. Which is made especially funny when I shout at them both and she acts like a sulky child, I mean look at them! They've both just slunk of back to their rooms."

Missy giggled, "Now that you mention it, that is rather amusing! Especially when we add you into the equation Clara. Oh, I'm so glad you escaped Skaro."

Clara glared at her, "Just for that you can make the three of us a cup of tea. Go on, the stuff's on the counter behind you."

Missy cracked up again but nevertheless got up to do what Clara said.

River snorted as well and exchanged a look with Missy.

"What?!" Clara yelled, suddenly paranoid about whatever common ground the two of them had found.

"Nothing dear." River sighed with amusement.

"Tell me or-"

"Or what, Clara?" Missy spun on her heel, gesturing wildly with a large wooden spoon in one hand and a melon baller in the other.

"Or I'll..." She trailed off as she stared at Missy in confusion, "What the bloody hell are you doing? I said tea, all you needed is a teaspoon, which is kept right next to the mug rack and the teabags."

Missy grinned but didn't say anything, just turned back around to continue playing with the kitchen utensils.

"River?" Clara turned back to River, giving her Clara's best teacher face.

"Stop that, you look like my mother when you do that."

Clara grinned, "Tell me then."

"It's just, out of all the people here, you're the person least likely to be able to control people and keep them in line. But that seems to be exactly what you're doing. You were saying about Oswin and Me acting like teenagers, but what you don't seem to realise it that you're acting like...well..."

"A middle aged, stay at home, mum!" Missy grinned as she placed three mugs on the table.

"What's with everyone calling me old lately, I'm the second youngest here!"

"I think I spot some grey!" Missy suddenly yelled and leaned across the table to tug on Clara's hair who batted her away angrily.

"Very funny Missy, very funny."

Clara took a large swig of her tea, instantly regretting it when she was met with the taste of seemingly every edible food source Missy could find mixed together, and then dunked into a perfectly good cup of tea.

Clara stared at her mug mournfully, much to the amusement of both Missy and River who watched as she seemed to wrestle with a hard decision before standing and walking over to the sink to dump the rest of the mug in it.

"What?" She asked when she sat down, glaring at Missy for her abuse of the poor tea, "I'm British, tea is a part of who I am and you just butchered it cause you're evil!" She hissed the last part, leaning to take Missy's own cup, which she assumed wouldn't have been tampered with.

Clara relaxed and hummed in contentment when she discovered that she was right, and she ignored Missy's glare at her theft and gulped down a large mouthful of the liquid.

"So. I've been thinking."

"That's dangerous, do you need to go lie down?" Missy asked sweetly, brimming with false innocence.

"Oh ha ha!" Clara bit back sarcastically, "Anyway, I was just wondering, why did you really join up with us River?"

River looked up in surprise, "What makes you think I have an ulterior motive?"

"The fact that you haven't denied it, and also I can't believe you would ever let yourself get stuck anywhere."

River sighed and leaned forwards, resting her weight on her arms, "I wasn't going to tell you, I was just going to do it whilst you were sleeping."

Missy looked between them in confusion, having no idea what ulterior motive River could possibly be speaking about.

"You want to save them, don't you?" Clara asked softly, her eyes warm and inviting, encouraging River to put her faith in Clara, which she did.

"Yes." She whispered simply. "I've thought it all through, the Doctor can't ever go back because of the paradox but there's nothing to say that I can't. I already have in fact, to get her to publish the book and add the afterword for him. With a different Tardis, we can just go and get them."

Unexpectedly, Missy suddenly decided to chip in, "I think you should do it."

River's eyes snapped up to her unexpected ally in shock, "I thought you were against people being happy in general."

Missy kicked her lightly and then shuffled forwards in her seat to address Clara.

"River's talking about her parents isn't she?" At Clara's nod of confirmation she continued. "Everyone always underestimates how important family is, even I understand it's importance and I'm a psychopath. And she's right, taking your Tardis to get them wouldn't cause any problems. You'd just have to make sure to keep them within the same time frame when dropping them off for what ever reasons."

Clara nodded decisively, "Ok then, we'll go get them. Tomorrow morning sound good for you River?" She asked with a grin.

If she didn't know better, she could have sworn she saw tears beginning to fill River's eyes as she nodded before subtly hiding her face behind her mug.

"Oh god!" Clara suddenly groaned, covering her face with her hands.

"What?" Missy asked with a scowl at how dramatic Clara was being.

"We're going to have to be careful to keep an eye on Oswin. She met Amy and Rory on the Dalek Asylum and spent the entire time flirting and calling Rory Nina. She'll respect that he's married but she's still likely to try and cause chaos."

"Hmm, I knew there was a reason I liked your little twin Clara." Missy laughed appreciatively.

To her surprise, Clara laughed right along with her, "You know that's how Me described you to the Doctor actually. She called you the lover of chaos and said that you were quite the matchmaker."

Missy looked quite proud of this despite Clara's exaggerated eye roll.

"Quoting me are you Clars?" Me asked softly, as she stuck her head through the door, trying to assess the threat level from her friend.

"Possibly." Clara replied, a lot more cooly that Me was used too, "Are you going to destroy my Tardis again?"

"No, of course not." She answered with only slight hesitation, wisely deciding that today was not the correct choice for a debate on the ownership of the Tardis. Although she did make a mental note for future reference, after all, they had stolen it together. She had clearly made the right choice because Clara sent a beaming smile her way as she gestured for her to sit down.

"I also thought you might like to know something." Me continued as she chose a seat opposite Clara in case her best friend changed her mind and tried to kill her after all. At Clara and River's expectant looks she continued. "I've decided to start going by Ashildr again, completely."

Clara stared at her in surprise, "Why?"

Ashildr grinned at her, "I left that name behind because I didn't need it any more, I wasn't that person and there was no one left to remember her. Somehow I think that might have changed now don't you? I want to try and go back to that Viking girl, even just a little bit. And with everyone here to remind me everyday, I won't forget again."

Missy patted her on the back awkwardly and whistle, "Well thank the stars for that, it was awfully annoying trying to work out whether you were being spoken about in a conversation."

They all shared a laugh at that and Ashildr gently leaned over to tap Clara's hand, "Am I cooking? Seeing as how you don't seem to have even started."

"I don't know let me think about it. Yes!" Clara exclaimed, which caused Ashildr to chuckle.

"I know what I'm getting you for Christmas Clars, I'm going to get you a robot that can cook for you so I can have a day of every now and then."

Clara stuck her tongue out at her good humouredly, "Don't think I haven't noticed you." She suddenly raised her voice, causing Oswin to jump out of her skin as she tried to climb down from the ventilation shaft she had somehow managed to reach the kitchen through.

Oswin sighed in defeat, abandoning subtlety and just jumping down to join the others.

"I'm sorry for setting fire to things in the console room. Can I please be forgiven so I'm not the only one still banished?"

Clara laughed at the defiant look on her face, she knew full well that not a word of what Oswin was saying was sincere but she couldn't bring herself to care too much about that.

From that point onwards the evening passed peacefully, Oswin and Ashildr had apparently sat down together during their banishment and brokered a truce, the terms of which Clara wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Missy had completely rearranged all the utensils in the kitchen when Clara had told her to make tea, leaving Ashildr in a foul mood by the time she finished cooking. But she soon cheered up when Oswin "accidently" kicked Missy as she was walking around the table. Clara was tempted to call her out on it but she noticed the subtle high five between Oswin and Ashildr and figured that whilst they weren't destroying her Tardis it was just best to leave them alone.

Whilst they ate, River regaled them with impressive, wild tales of her adventure through space and time. Both with the Doctor and without. They could all taste the undercurrent of excitement whenever she told a story that mentions either or both of her parents. Each of them felt her joy at the chance to see them again and they all shared a smile whenever she wasn't looking. River may not have been with them long but they were all in agreement, she was family and their family all deserved to be happy.

Missy sat back during these revelations, observing the tight knit bonds between each of the crew members.

In particular, Oswin intrigued her, she was so similar to Clara and yet so different. And on top of that, even with the epic clashes between herself and Ashildr, it was clear to see the genuine love between the two girls, no matter how much Ashildr would've tried to deny it.

Clara grinned in amusement when she noticed Oswin trying to stifle a yawn. "Tired?" She asked curiously as Oswin nodded and pointed at a clock on the nearby wall, that was set to keep them running on the correct time so that they didn't disrupt their natural sleep cycle.

Somehow they had managed to just sit together for over five hours and it was well past midnight.

Clara smiled at Oswin in thanks for pointing her at the clock, she then turned back to the rest of the group.

"Alight, come on guys, I'm getting tired and Oz looks like she's about to keel over, lets head to bed."

The others all mumbled their agreement and stumbled off, leaving Clara to quickly rinse the mugs out and place the plates into the dishwasher that the Tardis had made for her after they discovered that she was essentially useless at what most people would call essential life skills, despite looking after the Maitlands for so long.

When she finally got to her bedroom fifteen minutes later, she collapsed to the sheets gratefully and her eyes started to close.

Her last thought before she went to sleep was a reflective one. She realised how much she appreciated her new family. One that she had built herself and she could just be open and free around.

Clara smiled gently as she allowed herself to drift off too sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I actually wasn't going to update today but I received a really nice review this morning and got writing. :) Please review if you get a minute, if really does make my day so much better and it gets me writing haha

For the first time in over a week, when Clara woke up it wasn't to the sounds of screaming. Suspiciously she slipped out of bed and padded over the door, opening it just a crack so that she could peek out into the hall.

There was nothing unusual present and she breathed a sigh of relief as she allowed herself to consider the possibility that Oswin and Ashildr had finally decided to abandon their constant battling and just get along.

With a quick glance at the clock she realised that without the sounds of screaming to wake her up she had actually overslept.

She grinned to herself as she quickly picked out clothes and changed, it already felt like it was going to be a good day.

Of course that illusion was completely shattered when she heard the sound of glass smashing from nearer to the console room.

Clara gave a long suffering sigh as she went to investigate what was happening down the corridor but ended up just laughing at what she found, which was Oswin and Ashildr just lying in a heap on the floor of the kitchen surrounded by broken plates.

"What on earth are you doing?"

"We're not on Earth." Oswin grinned cheekily, offering her hand to Ashildr to pull her up.

"You know what I mean Oz."

Ashildr fake glared at Oswin, "Well, I was attempting to make breakfast and Oswin insisted that she should help and managed to knock over all the stacks of dishes from last night."

"And then!" Oswin cut in gleefully, "Ashildr tried to do a Clara and tell me off but she ended up tripping over the plate shards instead."

Clara laughed at them before she realised what Oswin had said, "She did a what?"

"A Clara. Come on now dear, surely that isn't so hard to understand." Missy sang out as she skipped into the room, carefully stepping over the broken plates on the floor.

Wisely Clara decided to just keep quiet and instead just shot them a glare before taking her seat at the table.

"Hey, where's River?" She asked curiously, noting the absence of their fifth crew member.

Oswin hummed thoughtfully, "I think she's getting rooms ready for her parents, you did say we were going to get them today right?"

Clara nodded in understanding, "Yes, I did. I forgot for a minute."

Without warning, Ashildr who had just went back to preparing food, was hit in the back of the head by a flying spoon.

"Hey!" She spun around outraged, storming over to Missy and snatching the cutlery she was attempting to juggle with, "What is it with you and playing with kitchen utensils. Let me make this clear, do not touch things in my kitchen!"

Missy completely ignored her and instead grinned at Clara over Ashildr's shoulder, "You heard that right?"

"Yeah I did," Clara laughed gleefully, "If it's your kitchen Ashildr I suppose none of us should touch anything in here ever again."

Ashildr groaned out loud when she realised that she had essentially just signed herself up for cooking duties for eternity.

"I hate you all." She grumbled, half heartedly tossing a pancake.

"No you don't." Oswin laughed, kissing Ashildr on the cheek before joining Clara at the kitchen table.

It wasn't long until River joined them, grinning from ear to ear in the best mood any of them had ever seen her in.

"Morning everyone." She beamed as she sat down between Oswin and Missy, who both stared at her as though she had grown another head.

"What? I'm not allowed to be happy about seeing my parents again?"

"Well yeah-" Oswin started doubtfully, looking to the others for help.

"You're just usually a lot more reserved." Clara finished for her.

"Bitchy more like." Missy muttered, Oswin, Clara and Ashildr all turning to glare at her.

To their surprise, rather than getting angry, River laughed at them.

"I get why you would say that but I'm not that bad Missy, and out of all of us you're the real bitch on this Tardis. Although when my mother gets here she may very well give you a run for your money in the mornings."

Ashildr snorted and quickly distributed the breakfast food, "So she's not a morning person then?"

"Not at all." River grinned, "So I wouldn't crash around like baby elephants in the early hours of the morning any more." She said with a rather pointed look at Oswin and Ashildr who just looked at each other and shrugged.

"Actually I've been meaning to ask Oz." Clara started, digging into her food. How much do you actually remember about the Dalek Asylum?"

"Erm, I remember, crashing, the conversion. Spending the year messing with the Daleks, the Doctor. Oh, and his friends! Oh!" She looked over at Clara for confirmation, grinning after her nod.

"Well, well, I'm finally going to meet Nina in person." She laughed gleefully.

Clara smacked her over the head with an oven mitt from the counter, "You're going to behave ok? Don't say anything weird to them, and especially don't flirt. Remember we have to live with them."

Oswin huffed and folded her arms, "Spoilsport." At Clara's glare she soon caved, "Fine! Control freak."

Missy nodded knowingly beside her, causing another glare to be shot at her by Clara.

Ashildr rolled her eyes tiredly and kicked Missy under the table, "Will every one just shut up and eat for five minutes so we can actually go and pick them up some time this year."

They all seemed to get the message, staying quiet just long enough to finish eating before the bickering started up again between the twins. Which is what everyone had started calling Oswin and Clara to avoid a headache when trying to classify their relation to one another.

Ashildr took it upon herself to finish tidying up the kitchen as the other four disappeared into the console room to set the coordinates to take them back to collect the Ponds.

Just as she finished up the dishes, the Tardis chimed to alert her that they had landed and she darted through to meet the others in the main room before any of them left without her.

"I think we should all go." Oswin was whining incessantly when she walked through the doors, Clara stood slightly to the side. She obviously wanted to join River but wasn't pressing the issue like her pseudo sister was. "Come on Clara back me up, I know Amy and Nina too."

Clara just sighed and gave Oswin a long hard look, "The only reason you want to go is to cause trouble by winding up Rory, which you can do just as well by waiting until they get here, so if River says she wants to go on her own then we're going to let her and you're not going to argue."

"Actually," River cut in, noticing Ashildr's arrival, "If Ashildr's ok with it, I wouldn't mind her accompanying me."

Ashildr nodded at her simply and walked over to the main doors, picking up her jacket from the coat stand that Missy had insisted they acquire, and she had to admit that it had been a good idea.

"Seriously, she gets to go!" Oswin was outraged but was soon shushed again by Clara kicking her firmly in the ankle.

"We'll be back in a hour or so ok?" River asked Clara, ignoring Oswin who was sulking and glaring at Ashildr, who was being watched with great amusement by Missy who was just sitting back and observing the childish nature of her arguments.

"That's fine, we'll be here when you get back." Clara smiled at her, waving with one arm as River and Ashildr finally walked out of the door.

"Are you sure Oswin isn't following us?" River asked doubtfully as she checked behind them for the tenth time in as many seconds.

"Relax." Ashildr laughed, "Clara is perfectly capable of keeping her inside the Tardis, and if she was ever actually struggling she could just set Missy on her."

River laughed along with her as she pictured all the ways Missy could distract Oswin and keep her from escaping. Really, the possibilities were endless.

"So, do you know where they are living?" Ashildr asked curiously, as River seemed to be taking the seemingly most random and winding of routes.

"I do, but it's been a while, I know I'm in the right area though."

Ashildr rolled her eyes but continued following River, who seemed to be growing more confident with every detail she recognized. It wasn't long before they arrived at an apartment building with a rusted lift next to the stairs. With one look at it, they wordlessly came to an agreement just to use the stairs.

River led her up six flights of stairs before she finally opened the door that led along a long corridor with identical looking doors all the way along on either side.

She walked along to the third on the right before raising her hand and knocking gently.

"Hi mum." She said simply when the door finally swung open.

Without warning she was suddenly engulfed in a fierce warm hug by Amy, it lasted for several minutes before Amy finally pulled back with tears in her eyes.

"I've missed you so much River, how have you been?"

River laughed through tears, "Well, dead for one."

Amy looked shocked, "Dead?"

"Yes, but don't worry, the Doctor made sure it wasn't permanent."

Amy finally noticed Ashildr standing just behind River looking uncomfortable, "Oh, I'm so sorry, come in!" She took a step back, allowing the two of them to walk past her and into the apartment she shared with Rory.

"Where is father?" River asked curiously as she noted Rory's absence.

Amy laughed, "Working, turns out you actually need to have money to get along in life when the Doctors not around any more to sonic things."

River grinned, "Yes, well, that's actually what we're here about, to invite you back onto a Tardis."

"But the Doctor said-"

Ashildr held up a hand to stop her, "She didn't say the Doctors Tardis, she said a Tardis. There's a group of us now, we travel around together in a Tardis because we all had to leave the Doctor behind for various reasons but we can't abandon a time travellers life."

Amy looked at River in confusion, "So where did you get this Tardis? I thought only the Doctor had one and now that Gallifrey's gone there isn't any more."

Ashildr and River looked at each other and shared a laugh, "Mother, you have a lot to catch up on."

By the time Rory arrived home from the job he had gotten as a nurse at a local hospital, Ashildr and River had caught Amy up on everything that had happened from when she had left the Doctor to when they had decided to come get them.

When Rory walked through the door he was surprised at the sudden attack hug he received from River, he looked at her disbelievingly before his eyes met Amy's who laughed at him.

"You better pack a bag Rory, River just came to fetch us, we're going travelling again." She grinned at him, pointing towards her back which had already been packed and was lying on the floor beside the door.

It took less than a second for him to register what she had said before he too grinned and then raced off to throw the few things that he wanted to keep in a bag to take with him.

As soon as Rory came back out of the bedroom, Amy grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out of the room, scarcely even taking the time to lock the door behind her.

Turning to River, she looked at her questioningly, "Will I need to keep the apartment or...?"

"Keep in just in case," River smiled, "But if you want you're more than welcome to just live on our Tardis as well."

"Our Tardis?" Rory asked in confusion.

On the walk back to where they had left the Tardis, River and Ashildr with the help of Amy, caught Rory up to speed.

When Amy saw the exterior she burst out laughing, "Narnia?"

"Yeah," Ashildr grinned, "Our youngest and most annoying crew member thought of it and no one had any better ideas."

"I like it." Rory said, much to the amusement of Ashildr.

"Oh, she's going to be so happy to hear you say that." She snorted to the confusion of both Ponds who were unaware of any connection they may have to the other members of the Tardis crew.

As they walked through the doors, River warily glanced around for attacking Oswalds, but saw no sign of them so let down her guard an stepped aside to allow Amy and Rory to look around.

No sooner had she stepped out of the way then Oswin appeared, making use of the secret passages and vents that she seemed to be finding all over the Tardis.

"Nina!" She yelled deafeningly, enveloping Rory in a hug, "We meet at last."

Clara suddenly appeared behind her, dragging her off Rory who had frozen when Oswin had suddenly jumped on him without warning.

"I am so sorry River, I thought we'd contained her." She half growled as she held Oswin by the back of her shirt collar.

"Wait, Nina? Oswin?" Rory asked disbelievingly.

"The Dalek girl?" Amy chipped in equally shocked.

"That's Dalekist." Oswin muttered.

Clara dropped her and frowned, "That's not even a word, and it's true anyway so stop complaining."

Missy cackled at the affronted look on Oswin's face as she danced into the console room.

"And you!" Clara said darkly, as she turned on Missy, "You were meant to be helping me control her!"

Missy grinned, "But this is just so much more funny."

Oswin growled at them both under her breath as she stood up and dusted off her clothes, to her surprise Rory stepped forward and offered his hand for her to shake.

"I never got the chance to say thank you for what you did back on the Dalek Asylum, so thank you."

She looked quite bewildered as she shook his hand, so used to going unnoticed for everything she did throughout her life because it was just expected of her to come up with something clever.

Hesitantly Oswin reached out and took his hand, no sooner had she realised it then Amy stepped forwards and wrapped her arm whispering thank you in her ear.

Clara stood back, smiling like a proud parent, realising how much this moment must be meaning to Oswin after being under appreciated her whole life.

After Amy released her, they all stood in silence for a long moment before Ashildr started laughing from her position next to the door.

"You finally found way to shut Oswin up. Why didn't we go and get your mum and dad sooner River?"

Everyone but Oswin started laughing as she gave a half hearted scowl at Ashildr, but she was still reeling from Amy and Rory's actions to do anything more than that.

"Ashildr, get in your kitchen, we're hungry!" Missy suddenly yelled across the console room. With a dark look, Ashildr stalked across the console room and into the kitchen, throwing a dirty look at Missy on her way past.

Clara laughed quietly, careful not to let Ashildr hear in case she got mad at her too. "You know she's gonna get even with you right."

Oswin suddenly grinned from ear to ear and darted off into the kitchen after Ashildr.

Amy and Rory watched in confusion as Missy, Clara and River all went pale.

"You don't think-" Clara started.

"No of course not-" River continued.

"Who are we kidding." Missy finished glumly.

Without another word, both Clara and Missy took off in opposite directions and River went to Amy and Rory, taking their hand and dragging them through the corridors of the Tardis towards the bedrooms corridor.

They just made it to Amy's door when they heard the sound of footsteps echoing towards them, River flung open the door and pushed her parents in ahead of her before stepping inside and locking the door behind her.

"What's going on?" Amy exclaimed as she raised an eyebrow at River, waiting for an explanation.

"Oswin and Ashildr had a prank war going but ended up calling a truce. Now it seems like they are teaming up, which is a dangerous thing after seeing what they can do on their own to each other."

"So we're in here because?" Rory asked.

River shushed him and pressed her ear to the door, "Missy made Ashildr mad and Clara laughed at it, if we just wait until they get revenge on those two then they might leave us three alone."

They all jumped when they heard a sudden shriek from just down the hall.

"That'll be Clara's room." River informed as a second shriek came from further away in the Tardis.

"And that'll be Missy."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I have beaten my personal best word count wise again with this one. Again, it was a review that inspired me to get this written tonight so please if you have a minute tell me what you like. Anyway, I've started a little bit of a mini plot in the second half of this chapter, I thought it was high time I tried to write a bit of adventure.

They hid in Amy's room for over an hour, wincing every time they heard a crash or footsteps going past. The screaming from Clara's room had soon stopped but Missy could still be heard in the distance giving a panicked yell every now and then.

River and her parents sat and whispered quietly amongst themselves and caught up on what had happened since the last time they saw each other when River handed over the book for Amy to publish.

At just over an hour and a half they Tardis had been suspiciously quiet for nearly fifteen minutes and they were starting to worry about the health of Clara and Missy.

Suddenly, without warning, Oswin leapt up through a vent in the floor and brandished a modified whisk like a sword.

"Did anyone here laugh at my business partner along with the other two traitors?" She growled, an old scarf tied around her head like a bandanna.

River quickly shook her head fearfully in denial, wary of Oswin and the weapon she had seemingly made herself.

Amy and Rory both stifled a laugh but soon regretted it when Oswin rapped them over the head with her whisk.

"Quit it! Don't make me repeat the question." Oswin glared threateningly.

They sobered quickly and shook their head.

Frighteningly Oswin's face stretched into a wild grin and she strode to the door, flinging it open, "Then you're free to go, as long as you don't help the traitors."

Before they could react she had disappeared again, presumably to go and help Ashildr with whatever strange tortures they were visiting on the other two women.

The three of them shared a look before shrugging, Oswin had said they could leave, and it wasn't like they could actually hide with her uncanny ability to pop up anywhere.

Although, River thought, she would really need to have a word with everyone else about that, Oswin really had no boundaries and she didn't like the idea of her sneaking into her bedroom whilst she was sleeping.

Amy led the other two back through the winding corridors, stopping quietly at each corridor to peak round, when they reached the console room she was about to walk through the doors before Ashildr caught her wrist.

"I wouldn't," She murmured, nodding to a wire that stretched around the edge of the door frame, "We rigged it to zap whoever opens the door, we've done it to most of them so check for wires before you touch any handles."

She beckoned with her hand and reluctantly they followed as she led them round a winding path that took them into the common area. With a sigh of relief River went straight over to the couches and sat down, closely followed by Amy and Rory.

Rory looked up at Ashildr questioningly, "So where are the other two then?"

"The traitors you mean?" Oswin giggled, dropping down from a ledge above the seating area, causing them all to jump out of their skins, except Ashildr who was aware that she had been there.

"Yeah sure." Rory laughed nervously.

Oswin settled into the seat next to him and stretched out her arm leisurely, giving Ashildr an expectant look.

Ashildr chuckled and sat down on the end of the couch Amy and River where on.

"Well, I think they're still in the pool right now, Oswin wanted to get Clara back for laughing at her for something I did a while back, but this time we stuck an electric eel in there instead."

Oswin laughed and pulled out a small portable surveillance screen, "Look."

She held it out for them to see a colour image of the pool area which was flooded, Missy and Clara seemed to be circling the pool looking for a way out, making sure to be on the opposite side to the eel that had been dropped in with them.

As they watched Clara seemed to give up and cross her arms, leaning against one of the walls, Oswin grinned at this and brought up an options menu tapping at a few of the buttons. Without warning, the wall Clara had been leaning on disappeared and she fell backwards into a corridor filled with the goop that had been in Ashildr's shower earlier in the week.

Missy cracked up as she fell and they could all see the look of thunder on Clara's face as she stood up and flicked a handful of the goop at Missy who didn't seem to be particularly bothered. She spun and stormed off down the corridor, out of sight of the camera with Missy following, still giggling away.

Oswin quickly stowed away the screen again, chuckling to herself.

"That's it for now," Ashildr explained, "We've been throwing things at them for an hour and a half, Clara will be insufferable for months if we don't give her a break. As it is she's already gonna kill us." She sighed with a look at Oswin.

"Worth it." They both agreed at the same time, grinning at one another.

Amy laughed at the self satisfied smirks they were both sporting, "So what else did you actually do to them?"

Ashildr looked thoughtful for a minute, "Well first we sent a small army of hologram spiders after Clara. She doesn't do too well with them so that was pretty funny."

"Then we got Missy by pelting her with eggs and flour, and played a Dalek voice through the speakers shouting eggs over and over." Oswin cut in.

Ashildr nodded, "Yes, and then we went round and rigged all the doors so that they'd give a shock if anyone tried to open them, that was good because they didn't realise for a while that we'd done it to practically all of them."

Oswin giggled, "We used that to track them, every we heard another scream we knew exactly which door they'd opened. Then we just tracked them through and dropped various things on them from above to drive them round to the pool."

"Which is where we flooded it and dropped in the eel."Ashildr finished with a grin.

Her face soon dropped as Clara stormed into the room with Missy hot on her heels and grabbed Ashildr, spinning her round to face her. Oswin shot up and hid behind the couch where Rory was before either of them registered her presence.

Clara stared down Ashildr, holding her firm as she tried to wriggle away, before suddenly grinning wickedly and hugging her tightly, covering her in the goo that was still clinging stubbornly to Clara's clothes.

Ashildr yelled in disgust and jerked away, but it was too late, she was as covered in it as Clara was.

River frowned, scrunching her nose, "Ok enough children, you three go shower you smell disgusting."

They all looked down and sniffed, wrinkling up their faces when they realised how right she was. Without argument they all stalked out of the room to go and shower, Ashildr muttering darkly under her breath about how difficult it had been to wash it all of the first time.

As soon as all three had left the room Oswin popped up from behind the couch, grinning at River, who frowned at her causing her grin to fade.

"I wouldn't look so pleased, you're going to spend the next half hour going round and dismantling all your traps that are still active, ok?"

Oswin sighed but nodded, unwilling to argue seeing as how she had gotten the better deal out of it, at least she didn't have to go and shower a thousand times now.

With a quick wave at Amy and Rory she skipped out of the room, humming under her breath as she headed to grab her toolkit from the console room to disarm everything.

River looked over to Amy and Rory, "Welcome to your first day on this Tardis, I bet getting attacked by some kind of monster would be preferable now right?" She laughed at their bemused faces.

"No actually," Amy answered, "It's nice to see this side of things, it makes being on the Tardis seem fun again rather than sad."

Rory nodded soberly, "It's not the same, but it's maybe just as good."

"And hey," Amy smiled, "We finally get to spend time with our daughter properly without you having to disappear to jump backwards and forwards in the time line."

River grinned at them, "I know, it is nice, I thought I enjoyed always having all the answers but it was more lonely than you'd expect, steadily watching people recognize you less and less. The Byzantium crash was the worst, which is why I came to visit you straight after."

Amy nodded at her, understanding what she meant, it had been the first time she had actually met River and even then she could tell that it was bothering her for some reason that she wasn't sharing.

River clapped her hands and smiled, "Whilst the rest of them are all distracted how about popping out for a bit?"

Amy and Rory smiled back before bolting towards the console room laughing and dancing around the central column.

"What's going on?" Oswin asked curiously, as she came back, dusting her hands off on her jeans.

River confidently starting flicking levers and hitting buttons as she grinned at Oswin, "We're headed out, want to join?"

Oswin smiled at her, "Hell yes, Clara just took me camping." She laughed making a face.

After less than a minute the Tardis hummed at them to alert them to the landing.

"Where are we?" Amy asked curiously, leaning towards River to peek at the screen, but she hit a button to turn it off before anyone could see.

"No idea. It's a surprise." River winked at them, striding towards the doors and flinging them open wide to show everyone were they were.

It was a dreary day, the rain was lashing down and the sky was nearly black from the storm clouds, in front of them was a dense patch of trees, but just through them they could make out the outline of a building.

"Brilliant, we're on Earth during the worst rain storm ever!" Amy grumbled as River shoved them all out and closed the door behind them.

"Do be quiet mother, I set the Tardis to take us somewhere interesting and I bet it's that building that we're meant to go."

Oswin nodded eagerly as she pushed ahead, holding aside branches for the others to duck under, "This is so weird, I mean, obviously I know what rain is but I've never been out in it before."

The other three looked at her oddly.

"What?" She frowned defensively, "I'm from the future, the weather was all controlled, all we had was the "perfect" climate. It was so boring."

Rory laughed and held out his hand to help her over a fallen tree, "If you had grown up on Earth you'd be just as miserable about the rain as we are, it's cold and makes your clothes wet for the rest of the day."

Oswin just shrugged and jumped down, "Maybe, but I wasn't so I'm rather inclined to just enjoy it."

Rory chuckled and just shook her head, if she wanted to be happy about getting soaked through then that was her business, he just wanted to get under shelter as soon as possible.

It took them less than five minutes to make their way through the trees, but by the time they emerged, the girls hair was hanging limply around their head whilst Rory's was plastered against his skull.

Oswin sniggered at how deflated River's hair looked when it rained, prompting a glare from River and a giggle from Amy who agreed with her that it was rather funny.

They managed to make it to the fence around the property that they had seen and Amy groaned when she read the sign, "You brought us to an abandoned children's home? Do you not remember what happened the last time I went to a children's home?"

Rory rubbed her shoulder soothingly, "Amy relax."

She glared at him, "If I get attacked by one of the silence I'm going to kill you."

"Why I didn't even bring us here?" He protested but was shushed by River.

"Come on." She pointed to a gap in the fence that they were all just about able to wriggle through.

Oswin was the first to get in and she ran straight over to the main building, pressing herself against the wall to provide shelter from the rain.

"I thought you were enjoying the rain." Rory stuck his tongue out at her.

She just rolled her eyes, "Shut up Nina."

He laughed at her and followed River, who had been the last through the gap, around the building towards the front entrance.

"What now?" Amy asked with her arms folded, as they were confronted by a locked door made of sturdy oak.

Oswin grinned, "I got you." She pulled out a pair of sunglasses and handed them to River, "Clara swiped them from the Doctor when he lost his memory of her, they're sonic." She said in explanation.

River rolled her eyes at the concept of sonic sunglasses but placed them on her head anyway. She looked at the lock hopelessly for a minute unsure what to do next before Oswin tapped her arm and snatched the glasses of her head.

"Honestly." She slipped the glasses onto her own head and fixed her eyes on the lock, focusing on the words open in her mind. After a moment it clicked open and she pushed the glasses back onto the top of her head, smirking at River smugly.

"Don't start." River sulked, slipping past Oswin and into the main hall.

Amy and Rory soon followed them in, shivering as they glanced around the room they were in.

The plaster walls were cracked and peeling and whatever colour paint had been there had long since faded to grey. Holes were worn in the ceiling and water was dripping through, the drops echoing eerily through the structure before the water itself gathered in pools on the floor.

From all around them they heard creaking and rustling as though the trees had joined them inside.

Oswin looked around at the others fearfully as the door slammed shut behind them.

"Ok, I've changed my mind, this isn't fun any more."

River smiled at her reassuringly, "Don't worry, it's an old building, old buildings make strange noises all the time."

Amy swallowed nervously before putting on a smile of her own, "Yeah, and the door was just the wind."

Oswin breathed in deeply and forced herself to relax but her newfound calm was shattered when they heard an almighty crash from above them.

"What the hell was that?" She cried out, jumping behind River, who's own calm facade had started to slip.

Rory stepped forwards, pulling out his phone that the Tardis had made for him. He turned the built in flash light on quickly and turned to the others.

"Let's go check, you never know. An animal might have just gotten in and knocked something over."

Oswin nodded nervously and stayed behind River at the back of the small group, Amy going to walk next to her husband.

As they walked up the stairs, the wood groaned with the wait of them and Rory started carefully testing each step to make sure that it was safe to walk on.

They reached the top without any problems and where met with a long hallway that stretched off in both directions.

Amy opened her mouth to suggest that they split up, but Oswin cut her off before she could get a word out.

"Oh no! Don't you dare say it!" She hissed at them, they grinned at her but that was short lived as a dreadful howling started up.

"Relax, it's the wind." Amy said again, but she didn't look convinced.

Rory swallowed, "The wind? Then why isn't there even a breeze."

They all looked around in horror and by unspoken agreement decided to just stick together.

They crept down the corridor, choosing to go left randomly, at each door they quickly pushed it open to check inside but found nothing.

"Well good news, there doesn't seem to be anything here." River laughed in relief.

"Yeah," Oswin laughed scornfully, "But something had to have made that crash we heard, and if there's nothing here then what was it?"

Doubtful looks where exchanged between them and Amy nodded her head back towards the stairs, they hurried back the way they had came, just wanting to get out.

As they reached the front doors Rory reached out to open them but they were jammed firmly shut.

"Anytime today Nina." Oswin growled.

But no matter how hard he pulled they wouldn't give.

Without warning they heard a terrible scream and saw a shadow dart along the top balcony. River stepped forward disbelievingly, trying to catch a glimpse of what it was.

Amy just managed to yank her backwards before the chandelier that hung in the centre of the room crashed down where River had been standing less than a second before.

Oswin freaked out and started hammering at the door, demanding to be let out. The wood seemed to warp and the shape of a face leered out and screamed again in her face.

She yelled in shock and jumped backwards, clinging onto Amy for protection.

Even Rory was trembling as he turned around to look at River for answers, "What on earth is going on?"

River shook her head at him, "I have no idea, ghosts aren't even real."

Amy let out a chocked laugh of disbelief, "Really? Well you could have fooled me!"

River spun around to look at her mother thoughtfully, "Fooled you...what if that's it?"

"That's what?" Oswin asked, still hidden behind Amy who was considerably taller than her and so was a perfect shield.

"What if something's trying to drive us away, what if there's something important hidden here that something doesn't want us to get near?"

Amy nodded, "Ok, so what ever's going on is like a defence mechanism then."

"Exactly." River nodded, "And think about it, we were drawn upstairs and then chased back down, now the doors been locked which would probably lead to us being chased out of the back."

"So?" Oswin asked miserably.

"So it means that there is one area of the house left to check, because we've been upstairs and on this floor so..."

Oswin whimpered.

"The cellar." Rory finished, pale as a ghost himself.

A/N: Oooh! What do you think? I'm in two minds about how I'm going to conclude this mini storyline so if anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears haha :)


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I really struggled with this chapter and getting it right, It's so hard to write an adventure for me. I can write them wasting time as much as I want but as soon as I try a storyline I get really stressed haha. So please, please review and let me know what you think and whether it worked because if you guys don't like what I tried with this chapter I can try a different way of doing things next time I go into a bit of an adventure. Thank you for reading so much guys!

Oswin shook her head violently in denial, "No freaking way! I am NOT going in that cellar! Come on!"

Without leaving room for argument she grabbed Rory's hand and started dragging him towards the back of the building where she guessed the kitchen and back door would be.

River looked at Amy imploringly, "Come on! I'm sure I'm right about this."

Amy laughed at her, still warily checking around for any creepy apparitions, "I'm sorry River, but if we don't follow them Oswin's going to kidnap my husband."

River groaned but followed her anyway towards the back. Oswin had been right and so was stood at the open back door, beckoning them eagerly.

River caught Amy's hand and pulled her back, "No, we're not going anywhere."

She ignored the pained cry from Oswin and continued on.

"Think about it. We were drawn upstairs, shown something unnerving and then when we tried to go out the front we were attacked by something freaky."

"Exactly!" Oswin yelled, "Whatever it is, it's trying to trap us here. Probably so it can kill us!"

River scoffed, "Really? So why have we been allowed to walk out the back door?"

Oswin opened and closed her mouth, unable to come up with a well reasoned argument.

"We were drawn upstairs, away from the front foyer where the entrance to the cellar is. Deliberately unnerved by the site of a shadow flitting past. Then when we come downstairs and try to leave the front door locks and screams at us."

"At me." Oswin growled bitterly, "And if something was driving us away why would it lock us in?"

Amy nodded, "I agree with Oswin, River, it doesn't make sense to trap us if whatever it is wants to get rid of us."

"Because humans always come back to poke around." Rory murmured.

"What?" Amy turned to him confused.

"Yeah," He said, getting louder, "Upstairs freaked us out but it wasn't enough to make us run blindly. People love to be scared, if that's all that happens we would probably have come back inside to poke around anyway."

"Exactly!" River exclaimed, glad someone was finally getting it. "The quickest way to make someone run as fast and as far as possible, is to make sure they feel like they can't get out."

Oswin groaned, "I hate that I'm about to say this but I understand what you are saying. Once someone feels like there is no escape, they don't question when they find one. They pat themselves on the back for surviving and leave and don't turn back."

Amy looked back towards the front of the building, "And the exit we've been given is just about as far away from that cellar as possible."

River grinned at them, "So, ready to solve a ghost story?"

Amy and Rory nodded reluctantly and moved away from the back door, but Oswin stubbornly stayed still.

She stared longingly out into the dreary British weather and whined softly, "Are you sure we just can't leave, we can go play in puddles."

Amy smiled at her sympathetically as she took her hand and led her after River and Rory who had started walking back through.

The cellar door was embedded in the wall under the stairs and when they caught up to the other two it had already started making the strangest noise.

It was an aching creak as though the door was attempting to climb out of the frame and the surface seemed to almost ripple, the closer they got to the door, the more it shook.

They were less that three feet away when violent tremors started through the house, originating at the door.

The same thing that happened to the front door was happening here, a face coming up through the wood and screaming before fading down once again.

Oswin squeaked and stayed firmly behind Amy as River leaned close.

The next time the face showed she tapped it smartly where the nose should be, her hand went straight through and rapped on the wood of the door itself.

"Well that answers that," She muttered to herself as she looked back, surveying the room.

"That answers what River? What's going on?" Rory asked in frustration.

River sighed, equally as frustrated that the others didn't seem to be keeping up.

"Nothing is physically attacking us, what ever's trying to scare us can't touch us and it's protecting something in that cellar."

Amy stepped forward curiously and reached out to touch the door but jumped back when it shook again, "Really? Because that door is definitely trying to jump off it's hinges."

Oswin spoke up at that point, her scientific type mind, with it's desire to discover answers, overruling her fear for the time being, "Lot's of things could cause that honestly. At the end of the day it's just vibrating, a particularly pitched sound wave maybe. All you need for something to vibrate is to speed up it's atoms by energizing them, there are any number of ways this could be done, it doesn't necessarily need to take a supernatural form."

River grinned over at Oswin as she picked up an old piano stool she had found in the adjoining room, "And there she is, I thought you'd turned into a coward."

Oswin glared over, "At least I'm not insane. Yes River, let's run towards the potentially lethal place because you have a half baked theory about human psychology and ghosts. And why the hell are you brandishing a piano stool like a shield."

River rolled her eyes, "I'm not sure I'd go as far as to call you sane. And not a shield, a battering ram."

Amy hurriedly jumped back out the way as River strode over to the door and rammed the stool into the centre of the bottom panel repeatedly.

Unfortunately it refused to even crack the surface and the shaking, which at this point had just become a minor annoyance rather than frightening, stopped as well as though it was mocking them for their failure.

Running his hand through his hair thoughtfully Rory stepped closer to the door and bent down to inspect the handle, "Try hitting this part," He said pointing, "It can't stay closed if you break off the lock."

Without hesitation River raised the stool above her head and brought it down firmly on the handle of the door. The entire thing broke off and when it dropped to the floor, the internal mechanisms of the lock were hanging out uselessly.

Amy stepped over the twisted piece of metal which was all that was left of the door handle and gently pushed on the wood.

It swung open with a drawn out creak and they saw a set of rickety stairs leading down into pitch black.

Oswin sighed, fear starting to build back up again before she pushed it down, "Still got that torch Nina? Cause crazy over her," She said nodding at River, "Isn't gonna let us leave until we go down there."

Rory nodded and turned on the flash light on his phone again, he handed it over to River who just looked at him disbelievingly.

"What?" He hissed as Amy stifled a laugh, "This was your great idea, you can go first and if there's something horrible down there it will be your own fault for dragging us into it."

River laughed at him but took it anyway.

Warily she edged down the steps, treading lightly as possible so she didn't alert anyone or anything that might be down there. The others followed straight behind her, Amy first, then Oswin, with Rory bringing up the rear.

There were only seven steps to the bottom and then they stepped out into a room that was in complete darkness. River carefully led them into the centre and then spun carefully, using the torch to illuminate every corner as they inspected it. The wind whistled softly as it passed through from overhead as they checked every inch of the room.

It was empty.

There was absolutely nothing present anywhere in the room, or at least nothing out of the ordinary.

A few old chairs and cabinets littered the edges and there were some piles of old fabric in one corner, but other than that there was nothing at all that they wouldn't expect to be there.

"Are you happy?" Oswin shouted in a whisper, still too creeped out to raise her voice properly, "All this for nothing."

Amy nodded, batting away a spiders web that was strung up by her head, "That was ridiculously anti-climatic, but still...if there's nothing here then what was trying to scare us."

Rory swallowed nervously, "If there's nothing...alien...shall we say, then it had to be supernatural."

He got no answer from River who just stood shaking her head wordlessly, unable to believe that she had been wrong and that there was no big secret in the cellar.

Amy grabbed Rory's hand and started dragging him back towards the stairs, "Ok that's enough. We're leaving, now! Oswin come on, grab River."

Oswin caught Rivers arm and started pulling River after them but stopped dead after a few steps.

Amy and Rory were halfway up when they turned round to see that Oswin had frozen and River was watching in curiosity as all the colour drained from her face.

"What's wrong?" Amy asked worriedly as she rushed back down the steps and leaned down to look in Oswin's eyes.

"We were leaving," Oswin whispered sadly, "Why couldn't I just leave it alone for once?"

"What?" Rory asked confused.

Oswin stretched out her arms to either side, splaying her fingers as though she was trying to catch the air.

"There's no way in or out of this cellar except for the door we used right?" She asked River who was still stood behind her.

"Right."

"Wrong." She replied bitterly, "From somewhere in this room, there is a draught, and not a small one."

Amy held her hand out curiously where Oswin's was and gasped as she felt the cold air hitting the back of her hand.

"I can't believe we didn't feel that before."

River stepped back them and cast her eyes over the section of the wall to the right of the cellar steps.

"Rory, does that section of wall look at all odd to you?"

He came to stand beside her and followed her gaze.

"Yes actually, it looks like it's a slightly different colour."

They both walked over to it and River ran her hands along the edge of the discoloured section.

"You were right Oswin," River breathed, "There's a passage behind here."

Oswin laughed gently, "I've never wanted to be wrong so badly in my life. We're going in now aren't we?"

Amy grinned and squeezed her hand, "Come on, what's a Tardis without adventure?"

Oswin smiled back reluctantly, "Fine. Let's do this."

Rory and River between them managed the jam their fingernail beneath the edge of the board covering the passage. They counted to three and then gave a mighty heave.

The board fell away with a muted crash, a plume of dust rising from the floor.

Amy coughed hoarsely, covering her mouth and nose with her sleeve and snatching Rory's phone with the light from River's hand.

She led the way this time, ducking down to ender the narrow passage with Oswin hot on her heels, closely followed by Rory and River.

They half walked, half crawled for about twenty metres before the corridor suddenly twisted left. As they rounded the corner, the corridor ahead started to light up with an eerie green glow. The closer they got they brighter the glow.

When they were ten metres away a horrifying screaming started up, like a thousand tortured souls all crying out at ones.

Oswin tried to scurry backwards but River pushed forwards, forcing them all to emerge into a larger chamber with the source of the glow in the centre.

The three humans all covered their ears with their hand, trying to block out the awful screaming.

Oswin tried to scream at River for bringing them down their but she couldn't be heard over the noise and so settled for watching her curiously as she circled the object before reaching out and hitting something on the opposite side. Immediately the noise stopped and they all warily pulled their hands away from the sides of their heads.

"How did you do that?" Amy asked disbelievingly.

"Pass me those glasses." River held her hand out to Oswin with a smile.

Oswin tossed them over gently, keeping her hands ready in case she had to clap them over her ears again at a moments notice.

River grinned over at her and put the glasses on her head. They heard a soft whirring sound from the glasses and then the glow faded down to reveal a battered, futuristic looking piece of machinery.

"What is it?" Rory asked, stepping towards it to take a closer look.  
"It's an escape pod." Oswin breathed in realization.

River looked up at her in surprise, "Yes it is, I didn't realize you'd have seen anything like this before."

Oswin smiled at her, "There's a lot about me you don't know. I used to be interested in the star ships so I studied as many schematics as I could get my hands on. This is very standard for many ships in the Andromeda Galaxy, isn't it."

River nodded, "Yes." Seeing Amy and Rory's looks of confusion she elaborated, "There are lots of species that travel the stars, not all of them look like us. There are many that don't even have a corporeal form. This is the escape pod for a ship that was carrying passengers without a physical body. When the ship is damaged they get into the pod and go into a sort of stasis, they're meant to be flown to the nearest ship or planet their people live on, but something must have gone wrong."

Oswin's eyes widened, "It's protecting them. Everything going on is to drive people away to keep the occupants safe. There must be about fifty of these lifeforms on the pod."

"What do we do?" Amy asked.

"Can't we just wake them up and let them out?" Rory chipped it.

River shook her head immediately, "No, if we do that they're dead. They wouldn't be able to survive in our atmosphere."

Oswin scratched her head and started running mental calculations, "It's obvious what we have to do, we'll drop them off somewhere safe ourselves. We just need to get it onto the Tardis. The outer shell will fit in this room won't it."

Amy glanced up to the ceiling doubtfully, "It'll be a tight squeeze but it should, I think."

River nodded, "Ok then, so we go get the Tardis, materialize it around the pod and then once we have it their we can check where they're from and drop them home."

They all nodded in agreement and headed back the way they came, now they were aware of what had been causing the rattling and door malfunctions, Oswin found that she wasn't the slightest bit creeped out by the old building any more and the others shared her point of view.

For years the pod had been protecting it's charges, alone and unable to do anything to help. Oswin could sympathize with that feeling of loneliness and isolation...and helplessness.

They walked in a contemplative silence back to the Tardis, all of their minds were on the pod that they had decided to take back to whatever home it came from.

When they walked into the Tardis, River hit the buttons without hesitation and within moments the pod was sat in front of them in the centre of the control room.

She tossed Rory a scanner and beckoned Oswin and Amy over to the monitor with her.

"Stick that on the side father dear, anywhere will do."

When he did a stream of information instantly lit up on the monitor, listing everything from the flight manifests, to passenger information and then to the origin world of the creatures travelling.

The records flagged up and a video file started playing without prompting. It was the security footage from the final moments of the ship the escape pod was from.

They witnessed the panic as people rushed to safety, the ship had been attacked by a roaming gang of space pirates and had been torn apart in deep space.

The pod in front of them held the only survivors.

Solemnly River punched in the coordinates of the home planet and the Tardis landed gently outside a great dome on a world where the sky shone a glimmering purple.

"What now?" Rory asked curiously, when no entrance seemed apparent.

Amy grinned at him, "Knock and run."

Oswin and River laughed and together the four of them dragged out the pod and placed it as close to the edge of the dome as possible, then they hammered on the side with their fists and darted back into the Tardis, cloaking it quickly.

They watched on the monitors as spectral beings taking rough humanoid shape drifted to the edge where they had placed the pod. Over the comms system they heard excited chatter and then the pod was pulled through the dome.

Once inside, it glowed blue for a moment before a flood of shimmering forms poured out of the top and seemed to eagerly embrace the ones who had released them.

Amy clicked off the screen smiling happily as Oswin hit a button to put them in flight through the vortex where the Tardis spent most of it's time when they weren't in a specific place.

"So they really were ghosts?" She grinned at River, "I was right."

"They weren't ghosts," River argued.

"Really?" Oswin laughed, "They are literally just shadowy outlines wafting all over the place. Ghosts is the best word for them."

River just shook her head, "Actually the best word would be spirits."

She walked off to the common room, closely followed by her parents and Oswin who were each chuckling away to themselves quietly.

The door swung open and they walked through to find Clara, Ashildr and Missy staring each other down across the kitchen table.

"Are they playing poker?" Rory asked.

The girls just shook there head helplessly, whatever game their crew mates were playing, it was large and complicated and undecipherable to the rest of them.

They just left them too it and sat at the couches instead.

River smiled to herself which didn't go unnoticed by Oswin.

"What are you grinning at chuckles?" She laughed, throwing a cushion at her.

"Nothing," She replied, batting it away, "It's just, the Tardis always takes people exactly where they need to go. This one is exactly the same as the Doctors in that regard."

Amy raised an eyebrow questioningly, "You and Rory needed an adventure to remind yourselves why you love travelling so much. Oswin needed to feel like she fit in with us and be her own person away from Clara, at least for a little while. And we all needed a happy resolution to prove that we don't need to Doctor to help people."

They all smiled at River warmly as they realized they were right.

Rory looked up and checked the time, starting when he saw what it was.

"I think we should head to be guys, it's getting late."

Amy nodded sagely beside him and pulled herself to her feet, she hugged River and kissed Oswin on the cheek before following her husband towards their bedroom on suddenly tired legs.

River laughed at Oswin's badly concealed yawn before patting her on the shoulder and heading back to her own bedroom.

Oswin resolved to do the same and climbed to her feet, walking towards the kitchen table where the other three where still locked in a card game.

"Clars? You ever gonna go to bed? Ashildr?" Reluctantly she turned round to the Timelady on the table, "Missy?" She said, waving her hand in front of her face.

The only response she got was a narrowing of the eyes so she just huffed and stalked off, if they wanted to stay up all night playing a stupid game then that was there decision but she needed to go to bed.

It was with a sigh of relief that she collapsed back onto her bed, curling up in a ball and pulling the covers over her head.

Her last thought before she fell asleep was that maybe she should think of getting a cat to cuddle up with during the night. She could remember hearing stories about cats and dogs and other furry pets when she was growing up and had always dreamed of having one herself.


	11. Chapter 11

Amy blearily opened her eyes and rolled over in bed, coming face to face with Rory who was still sound asleep.

She smiled to herself when she realized that they were still on the Tardis and it hadn't all been a crazy dream.

"Rory?" She whispered, gently shaking his shoulder to try and wake up up.

He mumbled and batted away her hand lazily, stirring but not quite waking up yes. Amy laughed and leaned over to kiss his forehead.

With very little grace she rolled over and wandered to the desk that was in the corner looking for some post it notes and a pen. When she found them she quickly scribbled a note telling him to come down to the kitchen when he woke up.

She changed into a casual pair of jeans and a shirt, sticking the note to his forehead before she left the room.

The Tardis hummed at her as she eased the door closed behind her and she grinned generally, "Good morning to you too."

The corridors were still foreign to her so it took a bit of wandering before she finally found the door through to the control room, as she walked through the entrance she ran straight into Oswin, winding the pair of them in the process.

"Hey!" Oswin grinned cheerily, "I was actually just coming to wake you up and ask if you wanted breakfast, it's gone eleven."

Amy looked at her in surprise, "I can't believe we stayed asleep that long, it's so peaceful."

Oswin quirked an eyebrow at her, "Come on, I'll show you why it's so peaceful this morning."

She led her through the Tardis console room and into the kitchen.

Amy sighed disbelievingly, "You're still doing this?"  
Oswin crossed her arms and gestured towards them helplessly.

Ashildr, Clara and Missy were still in the exact same position that they had been left in last night, only now there seemed to be several separate decks of cards in play.

Clara looked up from her hand and wiped her eyes with her sleeve, "Shush, we're nearly finished."

Ashildr looked at her, "Actually I don't think we are, we still have another seven decks in reserve."  
"What the bloody hell are you playing?" Amy yelled at them, slamming her hands down on the table.

Missy jumped out of her skin, apparently she had been dozing off until Amy shouted down her ear.

"No need to shout, dear," She hissed, "And none of us are sure, but we all think we're winning. I am really." She turned and winked at Oswin.

Ashildr and Clara instantly jumped in and started bickering about who was really in the lead.

Oswin and Amy shared a look over their heads before each talking hold of one side of the table and heaving. It fell on it's side with a crash, the cards flying everywhere.

The three players all screamed in outrage, turning on Amy and Oswin who backed up hurriedly.

"Just think people!" Oswin yelled, "How long were you actually playing that stupid game for? We didn't ruin it, we practically rescued you!"

Clara growled at her menacingly, "Well we didn't ask you too."

River walked in as they got them backed against the kitchen sink, tiredly she put her self in the middle and held up her hands to ward them off.

"Ok card zombies, enough is enough."

They stared at her balefully a moment before sniffing and backing away, each taking a seat on the coaches away from each other, still throwing dirty looks at Amy and Oswin for disrupting their game.

"Why did you tip the table?" River turned to Amy curiously.

"Did you see them last night? Cause that's the exact same way they were this morning, I don't know what they were playing but there was no way they were leaving that table unless we made them."

Oswin giggled behind her, "Plus it was funny, you should've seen their faces when they realised that it was all gone."

River rolled her eyes but smiled none the less.

"Maybe, but you realise you've alienated the one person on this Tardis who can cook right?"

Oswin looked over at Ashildr in horror, who smirked and waved at her.

Amy shrugged, "Fine, we'll go out for breakfast, come on Oswin lets go get ready to go. River, get the zombies to get dressed as well will you? Thanks!" She threw the last bit over her shoulder as she pulled Oswin away by the wrist before River could complain about being abandoned to deal with the other three.

"So, where are we going for breakfast?" Oswin asked casually as the meandered back towards the bedrooms.

"I'm thinking Cardiff, there's some lovely restaurants around there." Amy smiled, stopping outside her door.

"Cool, so meet you in the console room in ten?"

"Sure!"

They both ducked inside their respective rooms, as Amy walked in she came face to face with her husband sleepily getting dressed.

"I'm glad you're up." She said, laughing when her jumped, not noticing her presence as she had walked in. "We're going out for food because me and Oswin may have slightly provoked Ashildr and she's not in the mood to play chef this morning."

Rory laughed and leaned towards her, kissing her gently, "I'm not even going to ask. When are we leaving?"

"Ten minutes, I just came to get you. Oswin's getting changed in her room right now and if the others aren't ready then we'll just leave them behind."

He shook his head in amusement and held out his hand, "Yeah, that'll put them in a better mood. Shall we?"

Amy took his hand in hers and walked out of the door, heading straight for the console room, as they reached it they heard arguing.

Missy and Ashildr were both now presentable if a little oddly dressed in mismatching items, but Clara was insisting that she was going to just wear her pyjama shirt to go to breakfast in.

"You'll look ridiculous!" River was yelling at her, but the shorter woman was more than holding her ground.

"It's a grey jumper, it's fine! And you really don't get a say in the matter do you? My Tardis, my dress code!" Clara folded her eyes defiantly and River scowled, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get anywhere with the stubborn young woman.

"I'm ready!" Oswin announced as she breezed in, giving Clara an appraising look on the way, "Nice PJ's sis, great choice for breakfast attire."

Clara shot her a glare but Oswin shrugged it off nonchalantly, "Who's piloting? I want food."

River went to move towards the console but Clara brushed past her roughly, still sulking for whatever odd reason she had chosen to be grumpy that morning.

She made short work of punching in the coordinates before flipping a lever that caused the Tardis to take off seamlessly, she stepped back looking proud of her self as they came to a smooth landing.

"Never really been a fan of Cardiff." Ashildr remarked as she cracked open the door and stuck her head out.

Impatiently Missy shoved at her back causing her to fall the rest of the way and land on the floor outside the doors.

"What are you doing on the floor? You're making the place look untidy." Missy said to her with wide innocent looking eyes.

The rest all followed out quickly, shutting the door behind them as Ashildr picked her self up, muttering darkly about Missy's total lack of manners.

"We need to be careful about you actually?" Clara suddenly thought, turning to face Missy, "You need to behave because if UNIT gets wind of you being here they'll try and arrest you and I''m really not in the mood for World War 3 before breakfast."

Missy grinned, "But afters fine? That's what I'm hearing right now."

River rolled her eyes and prodded Missy gently in the back to get her moving.

They all looked around and noticed that they were in Cardiff bay, right over the rift where the Doctor usually parked to fill up.

"Well at least we won't forget where we parked," Amy remarked, looking up at the water tower.

Rory laughed and kissed the top of her head as he wrapped his arm around her.

Oswin tugged at Clara, linking their arms together, "So sis, were are we going to eat?"

Clara hummed thinking, "Fancy chips?"

Oswin scrunched her face up thinking, "I don't think I've ever had chips."

Clara grinned and pulled her along decisively, leaving the others to trail along behind them. If Oswin had never had chips then that was going to be their breakfast for the morning and Clara had been to Cardiff on multiple occasions and had a good grasp of local food places.

She took them to the nearest chip shop and they all walked up to the door.

Ashildr quickly did a head count, "Ok there's seven of us, I'm not sure there's a table big enough."

Rory quickly scanned the inside of the shop, "That's fine, we'll just put two together."

And that's what they did, working quickly they managed to drag a few together and pull around enough seats for them all.

Amy and Rory went to order the food together and no one tried to stop them, they were being sickeningly sweet to each other and no one wanted to spend time with them alone.

So they all sat and laughed together, telling outrageous story's of things they had seen and done, trying to one up each other.

Missy had tried impressing them with her story about the year that never was but they had shot her down. Unlike for her, world domination wasn't very amusing for them.

Ashildr was halfway through recounting her days as a highwayman when Amy and Rory returned, dropping seven bags of chips in the centre of the table, along with a bottle of ketchup.

Everyone dug into the food, Ashildr's story forgotten for the time being as they realised how hungry they actually were.

After several minutes Oswin sat back and rubbed her stomach with a satisfied grin.  
"I approve of chips, we should eat them more often."

Ashildr grinned, "I agree, lets have them all the time. I'll never have to cook ever again."

Rory laughed at her as Amy flicked a chip in her direction.

River grinned and then was sidetracked by what Missy was doing, she had seemingly decided that it would be a good idea to build a chip fort out of her breakfast and was investing a lot of concentration in her task.

"You know I came to this same chip shop with the Doctor once." Jack grinned as he pulled up a chair and sat next to Ashildr.

"Jack!" She squealed happily, throwing her arms around his neck, "Why are you in Cardiff? Everyone, this is Captain Jack Harkness."

Everyone but Missy, who was still focusing, went around and introduced themselves eagerly to the newcomer who had actually elicited a squeal from Ashildr.

Missy suddenly looked up and narrowed her eyes at Jack, who looked at her confused.

"Now I know I've met you before but I just can't place it." He said frustratedly, scratching his head in confusion.

"Let me make it easier for you," Missy drawled, "Look it's the girlie and the freak. Although, I'm not sure which one's which."

"You!" Jack snarled, reaching inside his jacket for his gun.

He was stopped by Ashildr grabbing his wrist and holding it tightly.

"Don't Jack, if anything happens with her UNIT's gonna come straight for us and it's too early in the morning."

"Are you serious?" He asked her disbelievingly as Missy watched disinterestedly, "You're defending the Master? Don't you know what he's done?"

"Hey!" Missy cried, throwing one of her chips, "I'm a Lady now, I'll have you know."

Ashildr rolled her eyes at Missy and the others who were all grinning as they watched the conversation unfold like a television drama.

"Look, it's not like that. Missy travels with us and doesn't cause trouble, in return we put up with her. It's a hell of a lot safer than having her roaming about unchecked and she's actually quite funny when she's not trying to kill anyone."

Jack's mouth hung open but he moved his hand away from his gun as Ashildr released him, although he didn't dare turn away from Missy for fear of a surprise attack.

Oswin huffed in disappointment, "Well that was a let down, I've never seen a TimeLord regenerate before. Are you sure you don't want to shoot her?"

Missy narrowed her eyes at Oswin and leaned towards her threateningly, "It's not nice, setting people up to be exterminated."

Oswin bristled at the Dalek jab but Missy hadn't counted on Clara who was sat on her other side and slapped her arm, "You mean like you did to me?" Wisely Missy just sat back and didn't say another word to Oswin, but she did grin to herself when she saw how Oswin was gritting her teeth to avoid saying or doing anything she'd regret.

Jack's look of suspicion turned to one of amusement before he could stop himself at how the Master was so effectively put in his place by a tiny brunette.

"So," Amy cut in, effectively silencing any further arguments between the TimeLady and the two Oswalds, "How do you know Ashildr?"

Ashildr grinned and hit his arm, "Say anything weird and I'll be pissed."  
Jack laughed at her, "I won't I promise. We're both immortals," He said to Amy, "The world's too small for us not to run into each other eventually. And once we did we kept in touch, after all with every one else dying of old age, who else was there to talk to?"

"Actually," Ashildr said, turning round to him, "I need to tell you something. I've come back in time, I've lived for over four and a half billion years to the end of time itself. So, I'm a little bit older than you now."

Jack shook his head in amusement, "I'm impressed, you may live forever but getting killed is still possible and you managed to make it to the end of the line. That's impressive." He winked flirtatiously at her but she just gave a smile and shook her head at him in denial.

He bounced straight back, "So, what now?"

River looked at him curiously, "How did you know we were here? We're not exactly advertising."

He grinned at her, "You parked right outside of my top secret base, I have cameras and I instantly recognizes Ashildr so naturally I followed you here to say hi."

Missy looked around at them all as they went quiet, quickly realising what they were all thinking, "Seriously? What if he tries to get revenge on my whilst I sleep." She glared in mock outrage.

Clara shushed her and looked over at Amy who seemed to be the only one still slightly on the fence, after a moment she looked up and nodded at Clara.

"Ok then," Clara breathed, "Seeing as you put in so much effort stalking us here, why not come along for a bit?"

Jack looked at them in confusion before catching on after a moment, "Yes! I would love that, you have no idea how bored I've been stuck in one place on Earth."

Missy groaned but didn't seem particularly bothered as she stood up, the others following her lead.

"Come on then, because I really am tempted to start a scene, beginning with that infuriating brat in the corner." She glared at a teenager who was sitting in the far corner, popping a piece of chewing gum repeatedly whilst her mother ate and tried to ignore her.

Clara shushed her and guided her by the shoulders out of the door before she could act on what she said.

The walk back to the Tardis passed comfortably.

Missy and Jack walked on opposite sides of their little group, whilst Oswin and Clara walked in the centre arms linked again keeping them apart.

By the time they had finished the short walk, Ashildr had caught Jack up on the most important events that had happened since she had last seen them.

Proudly, Clara swung open the door and allowed him to step inside and see her Tardis. Really she knew that if anything it should be herself and Ashildr's Tardis but she had developed a bond with the sentient machine that she was selfishly guarding and keeping to her self.

Jack spun round and gave an appreciative whistle, "I like the white colour scheme, it's very...classic."

Rory laughed and walked over to the doors to the kitchen, "This way man."

Jack stepped through the doors and smiled at the much more modern looking area, "Now this is more like it, this is pretty awesome."

He threw himself down onto the biggest couch and lounged across it. Ashildr grinned but hit him across the back of the head until he moved his legs so she could sit down as well.

Missy huffed slightly at him taking over the common area but decided to just take a couch instead and glare at him across the room.

Clara laughed with Oswin in the main console room as the others all fawned over Jack and his crazy stories in the next room.

"We're getting more and more people all the time, you always wanted a big family." She laughed, poking at Oswin who soon laughed as well.

"I'll tell you something," She replied with a smile, "We are so lucky that the Tardis is infinite on the inside because otherwise it may start to feel rather cramped in here after a while."

They shared another amused look at each other over the console, piloting the Tardis together to take them back into the vortex away from Earth.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Ok, first off let me apologize for the week between updates. I didn't mean for it to go on this long but I've been extremely busy working and this is the first chance I've had to update. Next one should be a lot faster :) So, this chapters just a bit of fun to give them a chance to get to know each other better. It's a little shorter than usual because I'm literally falling asleep as I type this, but I felt really bad about how long it's been since I last posted.

For the rest of the day it was like a party on the Tardis, Jack was wild and uncontrollable and before long they were sat around the table playing drinking games.

Clara had watched doubtfully at first, beginning to regret voting to let him onto the Tardis but he was actually bringing them all closer together, rather than driving them apart so she decided to just go along with whatever he was suggesting.

Ashildr was by far their greatest source of amusement now Jack had arrived, the two of them together were like a pair of giggling teenagers and had polished off several bottles of wine before anyone else could even pick up their glass.

It was at some point after the seventh bottle the group had shared between them, a disproportionate amount going to the two immortal partners in crime, that Jack suggested a game of Never Have I Ever.

River started to protest, as the only sober one she was the only one who could see the potentially hazardous nature of this game, but the others had already jumped on board with the idea wholeheartedly.

Missy shared a look with River and winked, it was then that River realised that Missy wasn't actually drinking anywhere near as much as the others and she sighed defeatedly and stopped arguing. Whatever they were doing there was no stopping them so she might as well just try and enjoy whatever was going to happen as an impartial observer.

"So!" Oswin yelled out, standing and gesturing dramatically at Jack, "How does this new game work?"

Clara giggled at her twins wild arm movements and caught her wrist as it flew past her face, dragging Oswin down to sit beside her.

Jack gave Oswin a questioning look at her lack of knowledge of the game but shrugged it off when Ashildr murmured an abridged explanation into his ear.

"Well, we go around and every one says, never have I ever, and then they say something they haven't done. Anyone who has done it then has to drink." He grinned at her, quickly pulling out more bottles from a stash he'd managed to bring on board the Tardis. "Who's first?"

"I'll go." Amy said, reluctantly sitting up from where she had been leaning on Rory's shoulder.

"Never have I ever, broken something at a friends house and not told them."

Clara and Oswin both looked at each other and shrugged, draining what was left in their glasses before Clara reached over for the bottle to refill them.

Ashildr sighed and leaned over to grab her glass, downing a mouthful before pointing a finger at Amy, "That was weak Pond, here's one for you. Never have I ever, ended up naked without knowing why."

No one was surprised when Jack lifted his glass but their jaws all dropped when Rory tried to sneak a drink without them noticing.

"Husband! Want to elaborate?" Amy shrieked at him in shock.

Rory blushed bright red, "It was once in college, I went out with the lads and...well none of us remember what happened. But when we woke up, we all promised to never speak about it."

They all burst out laughing at the horrified expression on Amy's face that very quickly turned into amusement, before she joined the rest of them laughing.

"My turn?" Oswin asked, still giggling slightly, "So the aim of the game is to get everyone else more drunk than you right?" When everyone nodded she grinned, "Alright then, never have I ever had to run to save my life."

Jack nodded at her with respect as every single person playing raised their glass and downed their drink.

Rory snorted suddenly and they all looked at him as he got a wicked glint in his eye as he looked at Amy. "Never have I ever injured myself whilst trying to impress someone I fancy."

She gave him a look of death as she drank before turning back to the others with a melodramatic sigh, "I have to tell the story don't I? Ok, so it's not that big a deal. But there was this guy and he was really into mountain climbing. So I decided to tell him that it was my hobby as well. And so, we went together and I didn't have a clue what I was doing to I set everything up wrong and ended up falling ten feet and scraping all the skin off my arms trying to catch hold of something to break the fall."

They all stared back at her for a moment, lips twitching, before dissolving into giggles again. Reluctantly she soon joined them at laughing at her own stupidity.

Missy decided then that it was her turn, and River braced herself. But it seemed like Missy had decided to play nice with Jack, or at least for now. "Never have I ever set someone's hair on fire on purpose."

Once again, Jack drank because he seemed to have tried every crazy stunt every conceived but on this occasion he was also joined by Ashildr who fist bumped him as the both threw back their shots.

"I'm assuming there's a story here right?" Amy asked as they grinned at each other.

"Well." Ashildr started. "We went out for drinks and decided to crash a house party."

"And then, one of the dudes started getting a bit too friendly with Ashildr." Jack continued.

"So, we mixed up as many different disgusting smelling things we could find and pelted him with it from the upstairs balcony." She smiled, remembering.

"But then," Jack laughed, "Ashildr, who'd had a few drinks, decided to throw a lit match down on him, and well...the stuff we'd mixed up was slightly flammable."

They all shared a laugh as they visualised a drunk Ashildr raining fire down on disrespectful men like an avenging demon child.

Clara got a contemplative look on her face as she struggled to remember something, but then it clicked and she turned to Oswin and smiled, "Never have I ever gone to church and a gay bar within two hours of each other."

For the first time in the entire game, Jack didn't actually drink, but Oswin did. Reluctantly she finished off what was in her glass before meeting the rest of their friends eyes.

"What?! My parents forced me to go to church, even though I gave a completely reasonable argument as to why there is no god and science explains everything. And then they started going on about my getting a husband, so I went to a gay bar and brought home a woman in the middle of the family Sunday dinner with my homophobic aunt."

Some of them laughed outright, whilst others felt more inclined to nod approvingly, which Rory went on to do in a very serious manner.

Jack waved his hand to get their attention, "Ok so, last one before we do something else, because we've nearly finished all the booze. Alright, never have I ever...been slapped in the face." He said finally after failing to think of anything else with the alcohol induced haze over him mind.

Ashildr looked at him disbelievingly and he shrugged before taking a drink along with the rest of the Tardis crew, except for Missy.

Clara just stared at her, "Seriously, out of everyone, you're the one who hasn't been slapped in the face?"

Out of nowhere, Amy reached up and hit Missy in the face, not particularly hard but enough to cause her head to turn to the side.

Almost in slow motion, her head spun round to face Amy with a stormy expression. They all held their breathes, waiting for Missy's reaction. Suddenly, her face broke into a wild grin and she started laughing, relieved they all joined in, except for Amy who remained quiet when Missy hissed a warning under her breath that she should never try anything like that ever again.

Ashildr bounced up, pulling Oswin with her who was sat between her and Clara.

"Come on then, it's only eleven and we're out of drinks. Let's go out!"

River who had been watching the whole game rolled her eyes and slipped away to her room, if they were going to make fools of themselves and cause trouble then so be it, it wasn't her job to be their babysitter.

Jack soon jumped at her suggestion and they all pulled themselves up and stumbled over each other to get to the Tardis doors.

Just as Clara put her hand on the wooden surface of the door she got what felt like a static shock and scowled at the door. "Hey! Let me out!"

Oswin tapped her on the shoulder and pulled her round to face the console.

"Just an idea, but maybe we should land first. I don't think there's any alcohol flying around in the time vortex."

Clara stared at her blankly before nodding and striding over to the console and hitting three buttons before coming straight back. She stared at Oswin who started shifting uncomfortably, before reaching out and tapping her on the nose, "Did you know you look an awful lot like me?"

Oswin giggled at her, reaching out to steady her as the Tardis landed, "Well yeah, but I'm the more attractive one."

Clara nodded solemnly as the others cracked up and pushed her and Oswin, who were closest to the doors, out of the Tardis. They all emerged and stared around curiously.

"Ok...so where are we?" Rory asked, still clutching his glass that was now empty. He looked around helplessly before leaning down and placing it in front of the Tardis door.

Jack shrugged, "Some small town, modern day England too I think. Let's find a bar."

He strode off in a random direction, with the rest of them following him like lost sheep, disorientated and hoping he had some idea where he was going.

Ashildr grinned and linked arms with him, "Come on Jack, you can smell alcohol. Where too?"

He winked at her and pointed just across the street from where they were.

"Shall we?"

The seven of them darted across the room in a drunken huddle before clattering through the doors and into the bar. Several of the locals turned to glare at them disapprovingly but they paid them no mind, quickly sliding into a booth along the back wall.

"What's everyone having?"

They all shouted random orders at Jack until he shushed at them impatiently, "You know what, we'll just get several pitchers of beer and go from there. And Oswin, you can't walk into a bar at eleven at night and order chicken soup."

She shot him a dirty look and pouted which Missy seemed to find hilarious, poking at her with a straw she had found on the table before turning round to confer about something with Ashildr.

Jack rolled his eyes and went to get the drinks, but when he had got back. Ashildr, Oswin and Missy had disappeared.

He tried to ask Clara where they had gone but she was fast asleep on the table. He sighed and turned to the Ponds, tapping Rory on the shoulder to try and get his attention away from making out with Amy.

"Hey," He said when they finally noticed him, "Where did the others go?"

They both shrugged and Jack groaned, "Come on, we need to find them before they cause any trouble."

Amy and Rory sighed but got up anyway and headed outside. Jack tried to wake up Clara but she was out cold so he just hoisted her up over his shoulders before sweeping out of the bar dramatically.


	13. 13-21 as posted on FF.net

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These chapters have all been posted separately on ff.net but I decided to put them all as one massive upload on here! :)

CHAPTER 13

The three drunk women had somehow managed to slip out of the bar unnoticed and gotten themselves lost straight afterwards. 

Missy's original plan to get everyone else drunk and then cause trouble had backfired rather spectacularly on her, because instead of wreaking havoc, she was forced to take care of Oswin and Ashildr as the most sober of the three of them. Oswin in particular was making this near impossible, singing jumbles song lyrics and seemingly losing the ability to walk.

They had found themselves in a back alley, outside of what seemed like a nightclub. Missy had tried to get them both in but the bouncer had taken one look at Oswin, who was being practically carried by Ashildr, and shaken his head with a smirk. 

Later, Missy would deny any knowledge of what had happened to him, but she did admit that his smugness had caused a certain amount of rage.

So, instead they were staggering down the dark, narrow alley, hushing themselves every time their giggling got out of control or one of them nearly fell, which happened every few feet.

After what seemed like several hours, but was more likely to be about ten minutes, Ashildr suddenly grabbed Missy's arm and pulled her round to see a door that was lit dimly with a creepy looking antique door knocker.

They looked at each other, debating whether to try knocking, but before they could even open their mouths Oswin had darted over and hammered on the door.

Within seconds it had swung open, and a good looking man was leaning against the frame.

“Well hello ladies, can I help you?”

“Erm.........” Oswin mirrored his position leaning against the frame and stared at him unblinkingly.

“We have run out of alcohol.” Ashildr sighed dramatically, throwing her hands in the air and staring at the man with wide, hopeful looking eyes, nudging Oswin in the ribs with her elbow to try to interrupt her drooling.

He laughed and nodded inside, “Well it's poker night, so if you play a few hands I'm sure we can sort out some drinks for you lovely ladies.”

Stepping back out the way, he gestured with his arm for them to go inside, which they all did. Ashildr and Missy each grabbing one of Oswin's arms to pull her along.

Across town, Jack wasn't having the night he had envisioned. He had expected a crazy wild party with Ashildr and her new friends, but somehow she had ended up ditching him with a married couple and a girl who had managed to knock herself out cold by drinking too much.

Things got marginally better when Clara suddenly started wiggling about and demanding to be put down, which Jack did gladly.

“You know, for someone so small, you're pretty heavy.” He grinned at ear, and was swiftly slapped in the face. “Hey!”

“Did you just call me fat?” Clara yelled, still slightly disorientated but pretty much sober now after taking a nap.

“No, of course not, I just meant you're heavier than you look. But I didn't mean it in a bad way!”

He held his hands up defensively and backed away from her.

Amy sniggered behind him, detaching herself from Rory to go and sling her arm over Clara's shoulder, “I don't know, maybe you should hit him again.”  
Clara laughed but shook her head, “No I shouldn't. I'm sorry.” She said to Jack, “I'm not very good at waking up.”

Jack rubbed at his jaw but shrugged and grinned good humouredly, “Well, no harm done, and it's nice to have someone else to talk to that isn't surgically joined at the hip to their partner.”

Amy growled half heartedly at him but just shrugged at Rory and grinned, the alcohol apparently making the two of them calm, happy drunks.

“Wait, where are the others?” Clara asked confused, looking around for her best friend and her double. She spun a few times before realising that Missy was gone as well.

“Yes, about that...” Jack started.

“What did Missy do?!” Clara hissed. 

Jack put his hand on her shoulder soothingly, “Don't panic yet, they all left together but that doesn't mean that anything bad has happened to them. And I'm sure Ashildr will take care of Oswin.”

Clara took a few deep breaths before nodding, “Ok then so where are-?” 

She was cut off suddenly by the sound of their three missing companions shrieking at the top of their lungs and racing around the corner, heading straight for them.

Oswin seemed to be clutching something in her hands, despite Ashildr and Missy both yelling at her to just drop it. As they caught up to the others they grabbed their arms and started pulling them along without any kind of explanation.

“What are you doing?” Amy yelled angrily trying to shake off Missy who had grabbed onto her and Rory.

“We'll explain later!” Ashildr shouted back, dragging Jack behind her, “Just run!”

They heard a bang behind them and the windscreen of the car they were running past exploded in a hail of glass shards.

“We're being shot at?!” Clara screeched disbelievingly.

Oswin rolled her eyes and yanked on her arm suddenly, pulling her down into a side alley, they didn't stop until they had made many twists and turns and then ducked into an abandoned block of flats.

As soon as Ashildr looked out of the window and nodded that they were safe, they all collapsed to the floor, breathing hard.

“Will someone please explain what is going on?” Rory pleaded tiredly from the floor.

Missy and Ashildr both turned to glare at Oswin, “Yes Oswin, why don't you explain what you did!”

Clara looked at Oswin curiously who opened her hand to reveal a set of car keys with the Ferrari symbol displayed proudly.

“So, I may have kinda, well.....I may have stolen these.” She muttered blushing bright red.

Everyone stared at her open mouthed. 

“Can you even drive?” Amy suddenly asked.

“Well, no.” Oswin sighed.

Missy frowned and stormed over to her, pushing her towards the centre of the room, “Tell them why you took the keys!”

Oswin went even redder and kept her mouth firmly closed.

Ashildr growled at her and took over, “So! Oswin here decided to chat up the doorman at this poker game we found, which was probably illegal cause some weird things were going in to the pot. Anyway, so she's just making out with him quietly in the corner and then drunken Oswin decides that it'll be a good idea to give him a present to show how much she really likes him.” Ashildr smiled, sarcastically singing the word really.

Oswin ran at her and jumped on her back, clamping her hand over Ashildr's mouth to stop her talking.

Missy grinned at her over Ashildr's head, “Nice try but you can't stop us both from talking. So then, she went rifling through the players jacket pockets, whilst they were wearing them! They were all a bit too confused to stop her, but then she pulled out the fat ones car keys and ran off with them. They pulled a gun on us and we had to chase after her before we got shot for her stupidity.”

Clara glared at Oswin disapprovingly, “You caused us all to nearly get shot because of keys to a car you can't drive in a ridiculous attempt to impress a doorman?”

They heard the noise of the men chasing them appearing round the corner of the street.

“Ok then,” Amy sighed, taking the keys from Oswin and tossing them to Jack, “You can't die, go give back the keys, we'll meet you at the Tardis once you're done.”

Jack nodded glumly, not impressed at the idea of getting killed again, but understanding her logic, “Ok then, you lot sneak out the back quickly, I'll see you soon.”

They all ducked out of a doorway that led out an adjacent street and took off back towards the Tardis, wincing when they heard a single gunshot echoing behind them. 

It didn't take long to get back and when they did River was waiting worriedly by the console.

“Where have you all been? And where's Jack?”

They all turned back to Oswin who blushed bright red again, Clara throwing a snarky, “She's grounded,” over her shoulder as they all dispersed, most to go lye down for a while to get rid of the terrible headache they were now sporting.  
CHAPTER 14

It was a few hours before Jack finally made it back to the Tardis, and when he did he was in a foul mood and coated in a layer of dirt and grime.

The others had all gathered into the common room and were sitting quietly with Jeremy Kyle on in the background, being watched by a confused River who still hadn't been told what was going on as they had all progressed from drunk to hungover.

Clara was the least affected but she had decided to devote her time to glaring at Oswin with her jaw clenched.

When Jack barged into the room and threw himself down onto the couch Amy winced at the dirt he was getting anywhere but decided to just keep quiet, the Tardis was perfectly capable of tidying up once they'd all gone to bed after all.

The seat Jack had taken was directly opposite to Oswin and he joined Clara in glaring at her.

“Ok, what the hell is going on?!” River yelled, completely done with waiting.

Jack and Clara both snapped their heads around to look at River. Meanwhile Missy and Ashildr, as the ones also partially to blame for leaving the bar with Oswin, tried to sink deeper into the couch to avoid being noticed.

“Come on, it's not that bad.” Oswin muttered childishly, regretting it when Clara's attention shifted back to her.

“What part of getting me shot at and Jack shot, isn't that bad?” She screeched like a banshee, making Rory, who was sat next to her, wince.

“You what?” River asked confused.

“The part where neither of you died.” Oswin bit back defiantly.

Jack coughed bitterly, “Well actually, I kinda did die!”

Oswin rolled her eyes but refused to comment further, to the amusement of   
River who had finally started to piece things together, “So the mud?”

“Yes.” Jack scowled, “They shot me and then buried me. I had to dig my way out, that's why it took so long for me to get back.”

Ashildr sniggered but quickly bit her lip to stop when Jack shot her a warning look.

“So you got shot because?” River asked Jack, unable to work out what had happened prior to the shooting.

As one they all turned to look at Oswin again.

“Why me?” At their disbelieving looks she sighed and shook her head. 

“Fine.”

It didn't take long for her to fill in River on what had happened and once she had River was sat giving her a disapproving look just like the others.

“You know what? Fine. I don't care, but at least I know how to have fun. Clara spent a good proportion of tonight passed out so there!” She yelled before stomping out of the room and slamming the door behind her.

Jack and Clara both looked at each other before cracking a wide grin each.

“Are you two even mad?” Amy asked looking between them.

“Nope.” They said together.

“We're just punishing Oswin for being so stupid.” Clara grinned, relaxing back into the sofa.

Just then Jack's phone rang, blasting out Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake.

“Seriously?” Rory asked with a frown as Jack shushed him and hit answer.

“Martha Jones! So nice to hear from you, how've you been?”

He listened intently for a long time whilst the others made gestures amongst themselves, Amy and Rory asking if anyone knew who this Martha person was.

Clara briefly mentioned that she had been a previous companion to the Doctor but didn't say anything more.

River nodded to them as well but didn't respond to any of their hushed questions, choosing to just stare at Jack and wait for Martha to finish speaking. 

Apparently she had stopped because Jack promised to meet her and then hung up.

“So what's up?” Clara asked him curiously.

“I'm not sure, Martha's asked me to go meet her but I'm not sure why. 

Probably something bad though, we tend to only call each other for favours.”

Clara looked at the others who nodded at her, “Well we'll all go with you then, after all, you can't have to much help on risky ventures right?” She laughed.

Jack smiled at them gratefully, “Thanks guys.”

“I'll go set the coordinates whilst you shower.” River breathed, disappearing out into the console room.

 

 

CHAPTER 15

Martha was pacing anxiously up and down a long corridor in the old Torchwood hub waiting for Jack to arrive. He had seemed surprised at where she had chosen to meet him but hadn't commented, instead just promising to be there.

She turned on her heel to walk back down the corridor when she was met by a solid wooden wardrobe that she could swear she had seen before.

The door burst open and eight people all tried to push through the narrow gap at once, lead by Jack who was yelling for the rest of them to just wait inside the Tardis.

“Tardis?” Martha asked confused, as they all fell out at once, landing in a massive heap with Jack at the bottom groaning, “I thought the Tardis was stuck as a police box?”

Oswin grinned at her and stood up offering her hand to Martha who took it hesitantly still completely confused, “Different Tardis, I'm Oswin. Genius extraordinaire!”

Clara shot her a dirty look as she managed to clamber to her feet, rubbing her back, “You kneed me in the back on purpose!”

Oswin grinned and didn't deny it, slinging her arm around Clara's neck, 

“This is Clara, we can go into why we're the same later but for now just imagine us as identical twins, except I'm hotter obviously.”

Clara scoffed and shook her arm off but was interrupted before she could dispute Oswin's claim by Jack who had managed to wriggle his way out of the pile of people, pushing the two of them behind them and hugging Martha tightly.

“Martha Jones! How have you been?” He smiled releasing her and stepping back.

“Good!” She grinned at him, peering around to eye the small army of people that Jack had brought with him, “So how do you have a Tardis? And who are all these people?”

Jack laughed, looking back at the group and running his hand through his hair, “Well it's a bit of a story. So these two,” He said pointing to Ashildr and Clara, “Are my immortal best friend Ashildr and the Doctor's latest companion. Clara is technically dead, she's living in her last heart beat right now. The Timelords wanted to put her back in her death but the Doctor ran away with her and ended up stealing another Tardis and then somehow they wiped his memory of her.”

Jack paused when he saw the tears start to gather in Clara's eyes but she nodded at him to continue.

“Ok, so then Ashildr and Clara stole that Tardis from the Doctor and ran away with it after making sure he got back to his old one. Then they got drunk and somehow managed to pick up this one.”

He said, jerking his head towards Oswin who grinned and bowed sarcastically.

“She's is an echo of Clara from the far off future who died on the Dalek Asylum saving the Doctor's life and these two,” Jack pointed towards Rory and Amy, “Ashildr and Clara got blackout drunk and somehow managed to save her, no ones really sure how.”

Jack paused, looking at Martha to see if she was keeping up, she frowned slightly but waved her hand to tell him to continue.

“Ok then, so what's next. Rory and Amy! These were the Doctor's friends   
before Clara. They're married but had to leave him when the weeping angels zapped them back to New York in the 1930's. The reason their here is that this,” He pointed to River, “Is their daughter and the Doctors wife who was raised from birth to kill him.”

Jack looked at Martha expectantly waiting for her reaction and she didn't disappoint, staring back with her mouth hanging open.

She didn't move for a long time, her eyes flicking back and forth between them. It didn't take long until Oswin got bored and poked at Martha who slapped her arm again and blinked before closing her mouth.

“Ok then, but who's she?” She asked curiously, pointing at Missy who was the only own who hadn't been introduced.

Missy grinned wickedly and raised her eyebrows at Jack, amused to see how he would try and explain this one.

He smirked back at her, “That's the Master.”

A look of fury cross Martha's face but to Jack's disappointment she managed to calm herself down enough to turn to Clara who was the only one trying to look remotely apologetic.

“Why are you travelling around with the Master?”

Clara smiled half heartedly, rolling her eyes exasperatedly at Missy who looked like she was really enjoying how tense Martha was at learning who she was.

“Well, to be honest, we don't really have one reason. But there is a general consensus that she can cause less trouble with all of us watching her.”

Martha nodded thoughtfully but didn't seem to relax at all.

Jack reached forward and rubbed her shoulder soothingly, “Honestly Martha, Timelord regenerations are weird. I mean, I know she's the Master but I actually quite like hanging out with her, it's like she's a completely different person to the one we met, and she even goes by a different name, Missy. Just give her a chance. If she tries to kill anyone then we can deal with it then.”

Missy huffed in disappointed that there had been no angry outburst but she grinned smugly at Jack's reluctant admission of enjoying spending time with her.

They all watched as doubt flashed across Martha's face but her body relaxed, showing them all just how much she trusted Jack's word.

“Fine. But if anything happens it's on you Jack and I won't be impressed. Now, do you want to know why I called you?”

“Yes, I do. But first...” He turned back to the others and put his hands on his hips. “Come on guys, you all promised, I introduced you so go back inside!”

They all groaned at him but he gave them a pointed look and they all turned and headed back into the Tardis, grumbling with every step. Clara and Oswin were the last to go through.

“Actually Clara, can I borrow your twin? Having a genius around might be helpful?”

Oswin grinned and looked at Clara like an excited child who'd been invited on a play date. 

“Fine,” She grinned, stepping inside the Tardis, “Although you owe me for leaving me alone with the Pond family and Missy.”

Jack winked at her playfully and Clara laughed before closing the door, the Tardis taking off a moment after. 

“So!” He said, turning back to Martha, “What are we doing today?”

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 16

Martha grinned at Jack and Oswin as she gestured for them to follow her. She led them straight into the main room of the hub to where the pterodactyl had used to live before the fall of Torchwood.

Jack was surprised to see that it had been rebuilt and looked practically the same to when he and his team had been working out of there.

“Wow, when did you do all this? I mean I knew the cameras outside where operational, it's how I found Oswin and the others but I had no idea that the underground section was intact.”

She grinned at him, “Well me and Mickey needed somewhere to work out of and we knew you weren't using the place any more.”

“Mickey?” Jack's eyes widened.

“Captain Cheesecake!” A gruff voice shouted from behind Jack and Oswin.

Jack whirled around and embraced Mickey, clapping him on the back. 

Martha grinned as she watched her husband and Jack, she always forgot that   
they had known each other long before she ever met Mickey.

When Jack finally released Mickey he walked over to Martha and they held up their left hands, showing matching wedding rings.

“You guys got married?!” He yelled happily, Oswin winced away from him and backhanded him in the ribs. Hard.

“Hey! I would like to still have my hearing after this little reunion.” She growled at him, rubbing at her ears.

Martha grinned and turned to Mickey, “This is Oswin, she's a genius so Jack decided to get her to come along in case we need extra help.”

“Have you told them what's going on yet?”  
“Nope, I was about to fill them in. Hit the projector for me?”

“Sure.” Mickey smiled affectionately, kissing her cheek before walking over to a cluttered desk with a laptop standing on it. With interest, Jack noticed it was in the same place that Gwen's desk used to be.

Mickey hit a few buttons on the computer and the wall behind them lit up from an unseen projector.

It flipped through images and video clips of a beach, Jack watched intently but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary on the footage.

When the presentation finished both Mickey and Martha looked at him expectantly but he just shrugged helplessly.

Oswin stared at him in disbelief before rolling her eyes and standing up, clocking hit across the back of the head as she walked over to Mickey's desk.

“Play it again for me will you?”

Mickey nodded, amused at Jack's disgruntled face, hitting the button to take the video back to the beginning.

Oswin's eyes narrowed as she watched it carefully before she nodded at Mickey to pause it.

“Ok Jack, are you watching?” She asked his sarcastically, her eyes glinting at his sulky pout. Oswin grinned at him and pointed towards the top left side of the screen, towards the waters edge.

“Watch that point ok?”

Mickey hit play again and this time Jack saw what Oswin had noticed without any help from anyone else. 

In the top corner was a cave set in the cliff face that overhung the water. A young couple was walking out from the cave and along the beach, there was a slight glitch in the footage and then they were both gone. Mysteriously vanishing into thin air.

“Woah!” Jack muttered, squinting at the screen, as it flicked to the next image he saw a similar thing happening again, and again, and again.

“What do you know about it so far?” He asked Martha curiously, still staring at the last image that Mickey had frozen the video on.

“Virtually nothing,” She sighed, “That's why I called you, I needed an expert in this kind of thing. I mean, we know where the beach is, and we know people are disappearing, but we have no idea why or how.”

Oswin nodded thoughtfully before sharing a look at Jack, “You thinking what I'm thinking?”

“Live bait?”

“You read my mind.” 

Mickey and Martha stared at them as thought they had lost their minds, “You want to go take a wander on the beach that people are being abducted from.”

Jack grinned, “It'll be fine, I'll wear a wire and-”

“No you won't.” Oswin cut in, groaning softly, “I need to do it.”

Jack opened his mouth to argue but she waved him off.

“Don't even start. I'm not doing this to be a hero, I've already cleared being abducted by aliens off my bucket list because I am so counting being taken and converted to a Dalek as that. The problem is that you don't fit the trend. Look over the footage again, it's females that are being taken, males are only being dragged along with them. And physically, I'm similar to the girls being abducted, making me the logical choice to go get chewed on by a monster.”

Jack narrowed his eyes determinedly, “Well I'll go with you.”

“Nope, not happening, I need you to stage a rescue once we know what this is, not get stuck along with me.”

Martha looked doubtful when Jack told her to wire up Oswin but didn't argue. Trusting that they knew what they were doing and the risks associated with it.

She had anticipated a stake out and so had gathered clothes suitable for wearing on a beach. She ended up dressing Oswin in a pair of boyish swimming trunks and a bikini top with a plain white t-shirt over the top. 

“I look ridiculous.” Oswin complained, picking at the shirt.

“Everyone wears stuff like this to go the beach. Wait, you have been to the beach before haven't you.”

Oswin went red and looked down, avoiding eye contact.

“Not ever?!”

Oswin rolled her eyes, “I'm from the future, everything was artificial because it was essentially a planet sized space station. We did have a beach but it was more a swimming pool surrounded by sand.”

Her tone was defensive and Martha wisely decided to stop pushing the issue as Oswin hopped off the table and brushed past her.

“So, are we doing this or what Jack?” She asked leaning across the door, carefully adjusting her clothes to ensure the wire was firmly secure underneath her t-shirt. Martha had also taken great care to place some kind of sealant over it in case Oswin got wet.

Mickey and Jack looked over from where he and Mickey were loading up the van with any and all items of equipment they thought they could possibly need.

“You look like a proper little 21st century earthling.” Jack grinned over at her fondly. “And yes, we're ready now. Just remember, if possible get a look and then run. If not then hang tight because we'll be right behind you and we won't let anything bad happen.”

“Yeah, yeah I get it. Don't get eaten right?” Oswin laughed with a smile, but he could see underneath it that she was actually quite nervous.

Before he could try to say anything comforting to her, she had already clambered up into the van, closely followed by Martha and Mickey. Leaving 

Jack himself to walk round and get into the passenger seat. 

As he pulled out of the garage door that the Smith-Jones' had put in he hummed to himself, feeling good to be out on a mission again after everything that had happened with Miracle Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 17

The drive to the beach was tense to put it lightly, the other three passengers in the car could all tell that Oswin was stressing and kicking herself repeatedly for suggesting this stupid plan. However, she couldn't back down because of her pride, and when they tried to offer her a get out of jail free she took offence to it. Unable to admit that she was slightly worried that she was essentially offering herself up to be eaten.

It was the early hours of the morning so when they arrived Jack was able to park right alongside the pier, less than two hundred yards down from where the majority of the abductions had been happening.

Martha and Mickey jumped straight out, rushing to set up everything they needed, and also giving Oswin a little space before she went out to the shoreline.

“You know you don't have to do this.” Jack told her sympathetically.  
Her eyes flicked up to meet his as she sat in the back with her legs dangling out of the open door.

Oswin watched Martha arguing with Mickey about setting up surveillance equipment and machines to record data with an amused smile before it faded and was replaced by a frown.

“You've all got it wrong you know.” She said quietly, still watching the married couple bickering not far from where she was sat.

“What have we got wrong?”

Oswin sighed and looked up at Jack.

“It's not the idea of getting attacked by an unknown people eating monster. It's just.........well, to do this I need to walk along the beach.” She said, the emphasis in her voice stressing the word beach.

Jack stared at her blankly and she chuckled despite herself, he really was trying to understand what she was talking about but the poor man was hopelessly lost.

“I can't swim.”

Jack smiled in relief, finally seeming to understand, “Ah ok, so you're afraid that if it takes you in the water you won't be able to swim away?”

Oswin shook her head, “Close though I'll give you that.” She shrugged at him, “Look, Clara and the others think that that's why I'm frightened by water but the truth is that it's the other way round. I can't swim because I was always too afraid of the water to learn.”

She watched his reaction carefully, hitting him when she saw a flicker in his eye that she disapproved off, “Don't look at me like that! It's not cute, or funny. I'm a genius with a ridiculously high IQ and a pathetic irrational fear of water. I can't even take a bath I have to shower. And because I'm so intelligent I decided to volunteer to take a stroll along the edge of the sea! Which is a hell of a lot bigger than my bathtub!” Her voice was raised by the end of her rant, but when she looked around Martha and Mickey had respectfully moved further away.

Acting on a sudden impulse Jack pulled her into a quick hug before she could protest. 

“I won't let anything bad happen ok? Just go for a walk and then run like hell if something weird happens.” 

He pulled back and stared into her eyes intently, waiting for a nod of understanding before he released her shoulders and stepped back.

Jack waved his hand to indicate she should walk in front of him and then they both headed over to where Martha and Mickey had finished setting up all the things they had decided they needed for this little fact finding mission.

“Ready?” Mickey asked Oswin with concern, who rolled her eyes at him and nodded before turning and stalking off on her own across the sand dunes that led down towards the waters edge.

“Think she's going to be ok?” Martha asked Jack.

“I think she's one of the bravest people I know and that's saying something, she'll be fine.

Oswin huffed lightly as she slipped, only just managing to regain her footing on the way down to the water.

The wire under her shirt felt uncomfortable but she just had to grin and bear it, it was fairly heavy because it held a multitude of different sensors to take various measurements during her jaunt along the seaside.

Finally she made it onto the flat part of the beach and starting walking parallel to the sea. Oswin cursed under her breath as she realised she was still far too far away from the water front. She made herself a deal to help cope with it, for every ten steps forward she took one left towards the water.

Stopping just shy of six metres close to the water, she decided that she was now within a sufficient proximity of the water and so went back to focusing on just moving forward.

She reached the top of the beach without incident and poked her head inside the cave in the rock curiously, before turning back towards where they had parked the van and walking back.

Just ten steps, that's all that she took before she heard a menacing growl behind her. She spun on the spot to stare back into the deaths of the cave. All she could see where a pair of glinting yellow eyes staring back at her.

Deciding that they probably had enough data to work with she turned on her heel and bolted down the beach back towards the van, hoping that if she went in the opposite direction it would leave her alone.

Oswin had no such luck. 

She made it nearly halfway back before she felt was seemed like a giant taloned hand closing around her waist and then everything was cold and   
dark.  
CHAPTER 18

Clara Oswald was completely and mind-numbingly bored. 

Amy and Rory had taken themselves straight off to their bedroom to do whatever it was they did when they were in a room alone together.

Ashildr was currently cataloguing and ordering her diaries, the Tardis had seemingly picked up on her distress that they were missing and the entire collection had appeared in a library like room that had replaced the walk in closet in her bedroom. Which suited Ashildr just fine, the small amount of clothes she wore were all kept in a chest of drawers at the foot of her bed anyway.

Whereas Missy and River had decided to try a whole new form of entertainment for the two of them. Clara sat in the console room leaning against the main console as the Tardis made various consoling humming noises, whilst River and Missy shouted back and forth at each other battle tactics to take out teenage boys all round the world playing Call of Duty for   
Xbox360.

“Will you please shut up?!” She yelled for the hundredth time as Missy victoriously howled down the microphone at a kid they had been hunting for a little over ten minutes as River managed to get a perfect head shot from behind him. Clara had to admit, she was a little bit scared of what the two of them would be capable of if they were ever released on the rest of the world in a non virtual way.

Suddenly the Tardis door burst open and Oswin came running in, soaking wet, with strange beach like clothes hanging off her and her mascara streaming down her face.

Clara got up to meet her and ask what the bloody hell was going on, but Oswin just brushed past her and headed straight for her room. In the distance, Clara heard the bedroom door slam shut behind her.

Jack cautiously stuck his head around the door and was met by an angry Clara with her hands on her hips.

“What did she tell you?” He asked, wincing slightly at the hard expression she wore.

“Nothing, she went straight to her room. Oswin hates spending time in her room for anything other than the bare minimum sleep she can get away with. What did you do?” She fixed him with an accusing glare.

Jack sighed regretfully and closed the door behind him, leaning against it tiredly.

“Well, Martha had called me because there were all these disappearances going on at a local beach. So we wired up Oswin and-”

“You used her as bait?!” Clara shrieked at him causing him to wince back even further if it had been at all possible.

“No of course not!” Jack defended, “She volunteered because she was the most similar to the previous victims.”

Clara took a deep breath but indicated for him to continue.

“So yeah, we headed out but on the way it was clear that she wasn't exactly happy, but she wouldn't change her mind and she's really stubborn.” He swallowed quickly at Clara's expression and continued.

“Anyway, she told me that she couldn't swim because she was afraid of the water, not the other way round but she still didn't back out. I promised her I'd make sure nothing happened to her and she headed of towards the beach. I'm not exactly sure what happened then but the next thing we know, she was running back towards us and then this dragon looking thing pounced on her and dragged her under the water.”

Clara gasped and her eyes widened, “She admitted to you that she had a pretty serious phobia and then you allowed her worst nightmare to play out?” 

Jack nodded, looking down guiltily, “I managed to get over there in time to pull her out practically straight away but she was hysterical. I had to leave Martha and her husband Mickey to deal with whatever it was because she wouldn't wait, she was determined to come straight back here.”

“I'm not surprise.” Clara growled snarkily, “Well I think you better go help your good friend with whatever mess you dragged Oswin into, whilst I go make sure she's actually ok.”

Jack looked like he was about to argue but Clara waved a hand in his face disrupting his attempts at speech.

“Oh no. Don't you dare try and argue with me. Your open invitation to MY Tardis is also revoked until both myself and Oswin decide your allowed back.”

“It could have happened to anyone!” Jack finally got out.

For a second she considered that he may have a point. After all, at some point or another they had all almost died, or actually died for some of them. But this was different, Jack took Oswin along for her intelligence and he was responsible for her safety. No matter was she said he shouldn't have let her anywhere near the water at the first indication that she might have a fear as bad as this.

She snapped her fingers and the Tardis doors flung open outwards, Jack toppling out awkwardly.

“Let me know how your water dragon hunt goes.” Clara said dismissively, closing the doors behind him. 

Without Clara laying a hand on the controls, the Tardis took off, she smiled over at the console fondly, “Thank you dear, what do I get a Tardis as a thank you present?” A particularly proud chime echoed through the console room and she laughed before heading off towards Oswin's bedroom.

She stood outside for quite a while with her hand raised ready to knock, debating whether it was wise to disturb her or not whilst she was upset.

Eventually she steeled herself and rapped on the door gently with the back of her hand.

“Oswin, can I come in?” She called gently through the door.

Straining her ears she heard what sounded like a muffled “Suppose,” and cracked open the door to slip inside, locking it behind her so that they would be left alone.

Inside of Oswin's room was nearly uncomfortably warm, and Oswin herself was curled up in the centre of her huge king size bed. Hugging a pillow to her chest.

Clara sighed and climbed in next to her, leaning against the frame at the top of the bed, waiting to see what Oswin would do next.

After a moment of deliberation Oswin shuffled over and placed her head on Clara's knee, allowing her to start playing with Oswin's hair with her free hand.

“So Jack told me what happened.” Clara said quietly, brushing out the tangled in Oswin's hair, paying particular attention to the back where her own always matted whenever she got wet.

Oswin stiffened slightly, “I told him not to follow me.”

Clara laughed gently, smoothing out a particularly difficult knot, “Well you don't have to worry about that, I may have kicked him off the Tardis for not looking after you properly.”

She felt, rather than saw, Oswin's smile as she leaned into Clara's side more.  
Caringly Clara pulled the duvet up over Oswin's shoulders when she felt her shiver, “So why have you turned your bedroom into a really bad sauna?” She joked.

Oswin rolled her eyes but her voice was soft, and slightly unsure which worried Clara who had never heard Oswin sounding like that before. “When I got pulled into the water I think I must have blacked out, but the one thing I remember vividly is how cold it was.”

Clara shuffled down slightly so she was lying, rather than sitting, in the bed. 

“Come on.” She said to Oswin, opening her arms, who looked at her doubtfully, “I'm serious, your cold I'm warm. Cuddle me.”

Oswin grinned slightly before she could help it, wriggling around until she was able to lie down inside of Clara's arms which immediately wrapped around her.

“Can you just be my sister?” It was so quiet that Clara didn't realise that Oswin had actually said something until a few minutes later.

“What?” She asked confused.

Oswin cleared her through nervously, still buried under the duvet so she could avoid looking at Clara's face. 

“I just feel like, every time we meet someone new we dance around twin jokes and then I get explained as a echo of you, like I'm something less.”

Clara went absolutely motionless, feeling as though she had been punched. 

Oswin panicked, thinking she had offended or upset Clara and hurriedly tried to backtrack but was stopped by an almost inaudible murmur from   
Clara herself this time, “I'm so sorry.”

This time it was Oswin's turn to be confused, “What?”

“I honestly never looked at it that way, how it must feel for that to be the introduction to who you are when it's such a tiny thing compared to the rest of your life. I may be the reason you were born but it doesn't make you any less special or important. And you know what?”

Oswin looked up at Clara curiously, relieved that she wasn't mad at her.

“I love you, as a sister. I always wished that I had a sibling but maybe I didn't get one so I could appreciate you even more now that we're here.”

Oswin sniffled slightly and hid her face again to try and avoid Clara seeing the tears gathering in her eyes but Clara poked her in the ribs teasingly until she back up.

“No more complicated explanations, ok Oz? You are my sister, and that's all anyone else has to know about it.” Clara said determinedly to Oswin, who giggled slightly before nodding.

“Brilliant, now I'm tired but I'm comfy and siblings share so you've basically trapped yourself into letting me stay the night.” Clara said yawning and closing her eyes.

Oswin stared at the face that was identical to her own for a few seconds longer. She knew exactly what Clara was doing and she was incredibly grateful, not leaving her on her own tonight and sparing Oswin any embarrassment at having to admit she was scared of sleeping in a dark empty room on her own in case her nightmares came back from when she was a child and her Uncle had told her terrifying stories about monstrous sea creature.

She closed her own eyes and snuggled a little closer to Clara contently, somehow she doubted that the dreams would be back that night.

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 19

The next morning when Oswin woke up was momentarily stunned by the heavy arms wrapped around her waist and the feeling of warm breath tickling the back of her neck.

Then it came back to her, arriving back to the Tardis after the morning at the beach, and then Clara coming to make sure she was ok. As well as the discussion they had before lying down to sleep.

“Clara?” She called quietly, to see if the other girl was awake yet.

When Clara didn't respond she twister round to see the clock on the bedside table. Nine fifteen.

Her eyebrows scrunched together as she tried to work out what day it was. It must have been Sunday which was why none of the others had been hammering on the door for them to get out of bed.

Carefully lifting one of Clara's arms, Oswin rolled out of her grasp and managed to fall out of the other side of the bed.

Rolling her eyes, mainly at herself, she rubbed at her head where she had somehow smacked it on the floor.

After making sure that Clara was still fast asleep, Oswin slipped out of the door and wandered off towards the kitchen where she found Missy and Ashildr were already sitting down drinking steaming cups of coffee.

“Morning.” They both greeted her with a smile a she waved awkwardly, still rubbing her head.

“Any water left in the kettle?” Oswin asked curiously, pulling two mugs out of the cabinet for herself and for Clara.

“Yeah there's a bit.” Ashildr replied, “Who's the other mug for?”

“Clara.” Oswin explained, considering making her sister coffee but soon she decided against that. Clara seemed to have a monogamous attitude towards tea as her choice in hot beverages, and Oswin wasn't prepared to have a got cup of coffee thrown at her by an irate Clara, who was most definitely not a morning person.

“Is she up?” Missy asked, sounding slightly confused, assuming that Oswin must have ran into her on the corridor before she got to the kitchen.

“No, she's still asleep.”

Missy and Ashildr stared at her with wide eyes.

“You guys slept in the same room last night?” Ashildr asked disbelievingly, both Oswalds had made it abundantly clear that they were to be left completely alone whilst they were sleeping.

“Your room or hers?” Missy was curious now, seeing as both of them hated anyone at all in their bedroom, a personality trait that Clara had definitely passed to Oswin.

“Mine.” Oswin grumbled, kicking herself for telling them anything in the first place whilst she poured the water into both mugs.

If it was possible their eyes widened even more.

“But you don't let anyone in your room!” Ashildr said, loudly, sounding slightly jealous that Oswin had let Clara sleep in her room when she hadn't even let Ashildr look inside the genius' bedroom.

Oswin sighed, getting the feeling that they weren't going to let it go anytime soon.

“Look, something happened yesterday and I wasn't feeling so good so Clara came to make sure I was alright and couldn't be bothered with moving ok?”

The look she gave them was enough to make them just nod quickly.

“Wait, what about Jack?”

Oswin's head shot up from pouring the milk into Clara's cup, wondering what Ashildr knew about the events of the day before.

“I mean if something happened it was probably whilst you were out with him right? So where is he? Is he ok?”

Oswin took a deep breath and closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts, “Ok so here's the thing. Yes, something happened yesterday and it was kind of to do with Jack and now Clara may or may not have asked him to leave for a little while.”

Ashildr was outraged and shot up from her sheet, stalking towards Oswin, 

“She what?!”

Oswin held up her hands helplessly to Ashildr, trying to ward her off without much luck, “I didn't tell her too, don't take this out on me!”

Surprisingly Missy got in the middle of it and pushed Ashildr back by her shoulders, “Go and calm down. You're being awfully unfair to poor Ozzy here.”

Oswin winced slightly at the appalling nickname but chose not to comment whilst Missy was defending her.

Ashildr growled slightly but turned around and stormed off towards the bedroom corridor, probably to break down Oswin's door and confront Clara. Oswin wasn't concerned though, the Tardis loved Clara and there was no way that he would let Ashildr find her whilst Ashildr was still in this mood.

“Are you ok?” It was weird how soft Missy's voice was as she looked into   
Oswin's eyes. 

“Erm yeah.....I mean I'm fine......it's just............” She trailed off helplessly.

Missy's lips parted slowly, twisting into a tiny smile, “You can tell me. I won't bite.....not you at least.” She giggled with a wink.

Oswin flashed her a quick smile of her own before picking up the two mugs from the counter.

“Come with me, we'll go get Clara and I'll fill you in on the way. I need to give her the heads up that Ashildr's out for blood.”

They walked quickly through the ship, taking a winding path with lost of twists and turns to avoid being ambushed by Ashildr who they could hear crashing round the ship after Clara. Oswin had been right, the Tardis had shifted her bedroom door to keep the unsuspecting Clara from the immortal on the warpath.

Whilst they walked Oswin told Missy about what had happened and also why Clara was so mad about it that she kicked Jack of the ship. She soon learned that Missy was a surprisingly good listener when she was in a good mood.

Finally they reached a dead end, with a single door set in the wall, labelled cleaning supplies.

Missy quirked an eyebrow at Oswin but readily agreed when Oswin sword her to secrecy about whatever she was about to learn. Oswin rapped on the door in a strange, rapid sequence before slipping through, pulling Missy with her.

Seeing Clara still fast asleep in the bed, Missy quickly deduced that they had just used a secret entrance into Oswin's bedroom.

“I'm honoured, I never thought you'd be one to divulge any of your secret little passageways. Although really I don't know how you manage to have so many in the first place.”

Oswin laughed, warily keeping an eye on Missy as she examined Oswin's room with great interest.

“Don't worry, that's only one of many, and letting you in on one small secret is worth it if it keeps Ashildr from killing my sister.”

Oswin bit her lip quickly but if Missy had noticed how Oswin had referred to Clara then she didn't mention it, although with Missy that wasn't always a comfort as she tended to store up information to tease people with later.  
Missy grinned at Clara who hadn't stirred even with the noise they were making, reaching out she flicked her ear.

Oswin waved her off impatiently, “That's not going to work, Clara's a ridiculously heavy sleeper.”

Missy sighed and sat on the edge of Oswin's bed, “If you want I could just slap her.”

With a smile Oswin stuck the mug of tea under Clara's nose and her eyes immediately flickered open.

“Is that tea for me?” She asked blearily, rubbing at her eyes.

“Aww!” Oswin smiled sweetly, “You're so British.”

Clara glared but took the mug anyway, propping herself up in the bed, “Why is Missy on my bed?”

“Ok, first it's my bed. And because she stopped Ashildr beating me to death in the kitchen.”

Clara smiled at Missy genuinely, “Thank you for not letting Ashildr kill my sister.” She said, winking at Oswin on the last word.

“I wouldn't thank me just yet,” Missy smirked, “She just got redirected back to you. Oswin had to use one of her secret entrances to get us in here.”

Clara groaned and rolled her eyes, “Ok that's great. Well we can't stay here all day, she'll get in eventually.”

Missy looked at Oswin thoughtfully, “Let's go hide in the pool.”

Clara looked at Missy angrily as all the colour drained from Oswin's face.

“Woah don't hit me.” Missy grinned, sounding slightly offended.

Clara realized that her hand had clenched into a fist and she was a split second from lashing out at Missy. Oswin shook her head and tapped Clara on the shoulder to get her to relax.

“Here me out,” Missy said once both of Clara's hands where firmly clasped around her mug again.

“Ashildr's fully aware that Oswin hares water so we'll be safe from her there and we can even start helping Oswin get over this phobia of hers.”

Oswin scoffed doubtfully but Clara reluctantly nodded, “You have a point, I just don't get why you're being so helpful all of a sudden.”

Missy rolled her eyes and answered, but she addressed Oswin rather than Clara, “You're not the only one who's ever had to deal with something that interferes with their life on a daily basis.”

Oswin's eyes met Missy's, “Ok then, Clara come on, bring your tea.”

When Clara stubbornly refused to move, claiming she was too comfortable, Oswin and Missy each grabbed one of her arms and dragged her out through the same door that they had used to enter the room in the first place.

Oswin led them again through dozens of twists and turns without hesitation and then suddenly they were in the pool.

Clara and Missy shared a look, no matter who the Tardis recognized as it's owner, no one would ever know the secret ways to get around like Oswin did.

Noticeably as soon as they stopped moving Oswin's confident attitude dissipated and she pressed her back firmly against the wall and avoided even looking towards the water.

Missy hummed almost sympathetically and strode over to a panel across the room. Clara rubbed Oswin's shoulder comfortingly as Missy rummaged around inside the wall panel. There was a gentle chime and then the sound of a massive amount of water flowing away.

They turned around to watch with interest as all but about an inch deep of the water in the pool was drained away. When it stopped Missy grinned over at them from the other side of the beckoned them forwards, jumping straight into the inch of water that splashed around her black ankle boots.

Clara grinned, finally realizing what game Missy was playing she followed her into the pool, playfully splashing some of the water at her and laughing when Missy let out an indignant screech.

Oswin edged forwards and peered over the pool edge curiously.

“Come on.” Missy told her calmly.

She shook her head quickly but Clara reached out and caught hold of her ankle so she couldn't turn and leave.

“Oswin we literally want you to come and stand in a pulled. You charged off to the sea before you were anywhere near ready to yesterday, maybe lets back it up and take some baby steps, yeah? Puddle now, sea much, much later.”

Oswin smiled faintly, she took several deep breaths before taking Clara's offered hand and slipping down to join them.

They spent the rest of the day like that, flicking water at each other and talking. 

By unspoken agreement Clara and Missy both spent the day keeping a close eye on Oswin to make sure that she was coping ok.

Eventually she relaxed enough to actually sit at the edge of the pool in the shallowest section where the water was less that five centimetres deep, running her hands gently through the clear liquid.

It got to six in the evening and they all agreed that it was probably safe enough to face Ashildr, so they climbed out and headed for the door.

Clara grabbed her mug on the way, from the poolside where she had left it, and waved at them, happily announcing that she was going to go and get another mug of tea.

Oswin laughed and started to follow her but turned around just as she reached the door, looking back at Missy, “Thank you.”

Missy nodded once at her and then they parted ways.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 20

The Tardis was suspiciously quiet as Clara snook along the corridors to the kitchens. Peering around the door frame she was relieved to see that the kitchen was empty, it wasn't as though she regretted getting rid of Jack or though it had been the wrong decision, she just didn't want to face an argument with Ashildr about it.

Her look didn't hold for long though because just as she was taking the teabag out of the mug to throw it away, Ashildr herself came thundering into the room growling when she saw Clara.

“Why did you throw Jack out?!” She yelled angrily.

Clara's eyes widened, “You mean Oswin didn't actually even tell you what had happened?”

Ashildr looked slightly sheepish for a moment, “Well, I may not have exactly given her the chance.”

Clara sighed, calmly sipping her tea as she quickly made a coffee for Ashildr with the other hand. Passing it to her, she nodded at the kitchen table to tell Ashildr to sit down, which she did so reluctantly.

“Ashildr, Oswin's aqua-phobic and he let her volunteer herself as bait for a sea monster. You and I both know that she is too proud to admit when she is unable to do something, and Jack just went along with her. The second she said it he should have insisted that they find another way, she even told him that she couldn't swim but he still sent her off anyway and she almost ended up drowning.”

Ashildr nodded sympathetically, finally calming down now that she understood.

“You haven't kicked him off for good though, have you?

Clara shook her head, “No, of course not. Just until I don't want to slap him for being so stupid any more. Oswin might be one of us but we all seem to keep forgetting that she never actually travelled with the Doctor. She isn't used to those kind of life or death situations, which means everyone else needs to look out for her.”

Ashildr smiled at Clara, “Sorry for wanting to kill you and trying to hunt you down all day. In hindsight I should have got context before I got mad about it.”

Laughing, Clara grinned back at her, “It's fine Ashildr, I probably should have come and told you what had happened but I was too focused on going to Oswin and making sure she was ok.”

Ashildr's smiled turned into a smirk, “So I heard, you two are getting closer, isn't that like being best friends with yourself?”

Clara laughed shortly, rolling her eyes at the other girl, “That's exactly the conversation we had last night. She feels like we sometimes just see her as a lesser version of me.”

Ashildr winced in sympathy, “I never thought of it like that.”

“Yeah, me neither, but she feels what she feels.”

“What did you do?”

Clara downed the rest of the liquid in her mug, “Told her I loved her like a sister and that was all anyone else had to know about who we are to one another.”

Ashildr nodded, “I think you made the right call on that. And hey, I see her as a little sister as well. She's family to all of us.”

Behind them, towards the couch area, they heard a crash and Oswin fell through the vent cover in the ceiling.

“You know it's rude to listen in on other people's conversations right?” Clara asked, laughing as she walked over to help her up.

Oswin groaned in pain but smiled deliriously as she half sat, half fell onto the seat next to Ashildr's.

Clara eyed her with concern, “Did you just give yourself a concussion?”

Oswin scowled at her, “No,” Her grin came back at full strength, “It's just what Ashildr said....you know?”

With one arm Ashildr pulled Oswin into a tight hug, Clara joining in on the other side.

Oswin suddenly leaned back and fixed both of them with a calculating look, 

“So I've been thinking about Amy and Rory.”

They both stared at her quizzically.

“Why have you been thinking about them?” Ashildr asked, almost nervously.

“Well I was over their room before and I-”

“Over their room?” Oswin made a motion at Clara to get her to shut up.

“My passageways can access every room in the Tardis and theirs is one of the stops from my room to here.” She said in explanation to avoid further interruptions. Ashildr and Clara both silently looked to one another, vowing to board up the venting covers in their own rooms to prevent surprise attacks from one Oswin Oswald in the middle of the night.

“Ok, that's.....”

“Creepy.” Ashildr finished for Clara, “Anyway, besides being really creepy,   
what were you thinking?”

“Right ok, so I was on my way here and I overheard them gloating to River that they were untouched by the pranks. I think River was telling them about the time that the console room got filled with extinguisher foam.

Ashildr ginned fondly at the memory whilst Clara grimaced.

“So what you're saying is that we should get them?” Clara asked, “No way, I don't want to be involved.”

Ashildr scoffed at her, “Well we don't need you anyway. Oswin I'm in.”

Clara dug her in the ribs as she stood up, “Well I'm going to hide for a bit if you're starting up the pranks again, have fun kids.” She disappeared quickly, not staying long enough to get dragged into anything by the nefarious schemers that made up her adoptive family.

“So, what's the plan?” Oswin grinned at Ashildr. 

Ashildr's eyebrows furrowed in contemplation, “Exactly where in their room is your vent cover?”

Amy and Rory were still curled up in bed together whilst Ashildr and Oswin were discussing their fate.

River had just been in talking to them but she had left to go find Missy for some reason or another that they didn't quite catch.

“Does it not feel strange to you Amy?” Rory asked curiously.

“Does what feel strange to me?” 

“Being in the Tardis without the Doctor.”

She rolled over to face him, “I don't know. Yes, a little I suppose, although we're finally getting to spend more time with our daughter so I can't say I dislike it entirely.”

Rory hummed in agreement, “I suppose it just feels different because there isn't a sense of constant danger.”

Oswin and Ashildr shared dual smirks from above, they couldn't have asked for a better set up that that. 

Popping open the vent cover, which was directly above the Pond's bed, they poured a vat of fish oil with slimy, fishy eyes in on the unsuspecting couple.  
As soon as the shrieking started, they dropped the cover back into place and bolted away before they could be discovered. 

Ashildr made to go back towards her room to hide, but Oswin tapped her shoulder, beckoning her in the opposite direction. She led them straight to the common area, to a hidey hole just behind the couches that they could see the entire room from.

Missy and River were already present, quietly discussing something in hushed whispers.

Oswin stifled a laugh as Amy came charging through the door, closely followed by Rory, and fixed the two women on the couch with an accusing glare.

“Did either of you two have anything to do with this?!”

They both shook their head horrified as the oil dripped off of the Pond's and onto the floor. Missy found herself unable to look away from the single fish eye that was stuck in Amy's long ginger hair.

River fought back a laugh of her own, apparently not above laughing at her parents misery, “If I were you I'd look for Oswin or Ashildr, probably both of them together. You know this is karma right? For gloating about them not getting you.” She grinned at them easily, not fazed in the slightest when Amy tried to give her the disapproving parent face.

Missy suddenly produced a hockey bat from somewhere, most likely from down the back of the couch which was bigger on the inside, and proceeded to prod at Amy's stomach with it to get her away, “You need to go shower, you smell atrocious.”

Ashildr sniggered and Oswin nudged her warningly, if she was too loud then they would get caught.

River and Missy shared a look as the Pond's disappeared, Ashildr had already disappeared back the way they had came but they way Missy and River were interacting unnerved Oswin, it was as though they were up to some thing but she couldn't work out what.

And Oswin hated not knowing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 21

Oswin shot along the venting system after Ashildr, “I think that River and Missy are scheming.”

“Really?” She asked jokingly, dropping down into her bedroom, “And why would that be a problem for us? We haven't attacked them so their probably planning to hijack the Tardis for a trip without telling Clara, that's nothing to do with us unless we try and get in their way.”

Oswin nodded doubtfully, “I suppose that could make sense.”

Ashildr patted her shoulder, pushing her towards the door, “Exactly, so if you'll excuse me I need to take a shower because I can still smell fish.”

With that Oswin was pushed completely out of the room and the door was slammed shut behind her.

Oswin sighed, realizing that she didn't actually have plans for her day and going into the main areas was out whilst Amy and Rory were still angry about the sneak attack.

So, she headed straight to her room which was only a few doors, carefully locking the door behind her. She wasn't worried about anyone using the same secretive methods she did to get around, she had wired a booby trap system into the metal floors. Unless she was in constant contact with the metal it would electrocute anyone up there. Oswin could take people through safely but they would get a nasty surprise if they tried to ambush her within a hundred feet of her bedroom, she was borderline paranoid when setting up all her defences. The only exception would be Clara because they were almost definitely genetically identical due to Oswin being Clara's echo. Although she kept meaning to test that theory to ensure Clara's safety.

Looking on the panel on the wall that controlled her trap circuits she suddenly grinned, knowing exactly what to do for their next trick.

Pulling out a notebook and a set of blueprints for the central section of the Tardis where they spent the majority of their time, she excitedly started scrawling out complicated equations, crossing out and making changes as she went.

After two hours she finally had a huge complex map layed across her floor, with mathematical equations filling every spare inch. Extra notes and variables climbing up the walls.

Bursting out of her room grinning madly she hammered on Ashildr's door relentlessly until the immortal flung it open with a vicious look directed at Oswin.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Oswin had stumbled forwards when the door opened and so was less than five inches from Ashildr's nose.

“You know you have got a really nice nose right?” Oswin said, completely oblivious to Ashildr's anger, “Like it's one of your best features.”

Ashildr took a quick step back and clapped her hands in front of Oswin's face until her eyes refocused on Ashildr's.

“What's up?”

“Why the hell did you just hammer on my door, like you were trying to break it down?” Ashildr groaned, not unused to Oswin's little zone outs. She had actually discussed it with Clara and they had decided that it was basically when Oswin's mind went so far ahead of the conversation she was on autopilot so she didn't have to interrupt mentally solving all of her theoretical problems and debates.

Oswin stared at her confused for a few seconds before it finally clicked in her mind where she was standing.

“Oh right! Come with me.”

 

Despite Ashildr's protests, Oswin grabbed her wrist and yanked her towards her bedroom.

When Ashildr actually saw inside Oswin's room she gasped and couldn't do anything but stare. The entire room was covered from floor to ceiling in schematics and post it notes and it was more like a mad scientists lair than a bedroom, although after some though she supposed that in this case both could be considered equally accurate.

“Well you've been busy.”

Oswin carefully picked her way across to the only clear section of floor in the entire room.

Opening her arms wide she smiled wildly at Ashildr, “So I have a plan.”

Ashildr raised a single eyebrow sceptically, crossing her arms in front of her.

“No, no, no hear me out. It's a more sophisticated version of the door prank we pulled on Missy and Clara the other week.”

Ashildr nodded, “Ok I'm listening.”

“Brilliant! Ok, well what we do is we wire every single metallic surface throughout the entire Tardis back to a single computer system. Then we feed in an algorithm that's set to give shocks on a randomly generated sequence and at various voltages.”

“How long is that going to take?”

Oswin shrugged, “A few hours, a bit longer if they're spending a lot of time moving around the Tardis corridors. Although a lot of the wiring can be run through the venting system. My original estimate was five hours but we can cut it right down if we don't add the variable to protect ourselves, we'll just have to be careful and wear insulated gloves.”

Ashildr stepped closer to examine the plans, “Well we better get started then.”

In the main couch area, Rory and Amy had finally showered enough times to feel clean again and had gone back to sit with Missy and River.

“We should watch a movie.” Amy announce suddenly.

River looked over at her from the other couch, “What movie?”

“Actually,” Rory cut in, “Maybe we should watch a television show. A real classic, we should show Missy and River Firefly.”

River and Missy both shot him interested looks and Amy smiled at him to put it on which he did quickly, settling back down to enjoy a marathon of one of the best television shows ever made.

They were seven episodes in when Amy announced that she was hungry. 

After quickly conferring amongst themselves, they agreed to pause for a food break and come back in a while.

However, when Rory touched the DVD player to pause it, he got a nasty electric shock that knocked him to the ground, dazed.

“What was that?” Amy yelled, running to her husband and helping him up, 

“Nothing malfunctions on the Tardis, it's actually impossible!”

River and Missy kept quiet whilst Amy ranted furiously, waiting for her to try and work out what had happened.

After they had sat through a solid five minutes of shouting, Missy eventually just rolled her eyes and slipped away, completely done with Amy's melodrama.

River watched her go wistfully, doubting very much that Amy wouldn't stop her if she tried to disappear like Missy.

Over the next few hours they worked out exactly what had been done. Rather than specific places being booby trapped, the whole ship was and it was a game of chance whether you got electrocuted or not when you touched something metal.

Once it became clear that this was definitely another stunt pulled by Ashildr and Oswin, Amy and Rory charged off on a witch hunt, attempting to track the two girls to their base of operations. River had assured them that Oswin would require a central system to work on and the Tardis would never condone a system like that running through the main ships computers.

Eventually they found them, hiding in plain sight, at the end of a long corridor with hundreds of metal cables criss crossing from wall to wall like a red laser barrier. Only in that case touching one would activate an alarm, and in this case it could give you a potentially lethal shock.

“Ok stop this now, it's not funny any more. Deactivate all your little traps.” Rory called down the corridor irritably.

Oswin shook her head, “If I shut it down then you can get us so no way, just don't touch anything and you'll be fine.”

Amy's hands went to her hips, “This is ridiculous. Clara?”

Amy turned to Oswin's sister for help who had just walked around the corner with Missy looking incredibly tired at having been dragged out to deal with the childish antics going on, on her ship.

“What exactly do you want me to do?” She asked curiously.

“Talk some sense into your insane little-”

“Oswin,” Clara cut in, stepping forwards, closer to the wires, “This is getting annoying now, just take it down and call a truce ok?”

Ashildr grunted in disagreement and Oswin stubbornly shook her head. 

Clara threw up her hands in pure frustration. 

The next part seemed like it happened in slow motion, her hand connected with a cable and sparks flew as Clara collapsed to the ground.

Rory knelt beside her feeling for a pulse, “I can't feel anything.”

Oswin heard screaming, after a few minutes she realised that it was actually her.


	14. Chapter 22 - 27 as posted on ff.net

CHAPTER 22

Clara groaned and battered away Rory's hand from her neck, “Will you get off, I don't have a pulse at all, I'm basically dead you idiot. Oswin you can stop now.” She said almost as an afterthought. 

Oswin gasped for air and then darted through the cables towards Clara.

Groaning Amy realised that the entire thing except the first two strands had been a hologram to stop them from approaching.

Oswin jumped the last cable easily and landed on Clara, winding her as she flung her arms around Clara's neck and clung there like a koala bear.

“Oswin, I know I only breathe out of habit but I would still like to retain the ability once you let go.” She choked out, but Oswin didn't even twitch, if anything at all her grip only tightened.

Over Oswin's shoulder, Clara narrowed her eyes at Ashildr who nodded to show she understood and hit the button to disable everything they had set up through the Tardis.

“Oz, I need to get up now.” There was still no reply so Missy helpfully gripped her under the arm, Amy taking the other side, and together they hauled her to her feet, with Oswin now wrapped completely around her not even touching the floor.

Clara huffed slightly and wrapped an arm around Oswin to make sure she wouldn't drop her, tapping her over the head with her spare hand, “Right, I'm telling you now, all of you! No more practical jokes.”

She heard a brief mutter against her shoulder and decided to take that as affirmation. Turning to head back down the corridor, she suddenly felt sorry for all her ex's that she had asked for piggy back rides, she was surprisingly heavy for such a small person.

It took a bit of effort but eventually she managed to stagger into the kitchen and grab a wooden spoon from the drawer which she used to pry off Oswin, who slumped back into a kitchen chair once Clara finally managed to get her away.

Pottering around the kitchen, she soon realised that they had next to no food that she would actually be able to cook successfully, Clara was a lot of things but a great chef was not one of them, anything beyond scrambled egg and toast seemed to be too much for her. Even Ashildr, who actually could cook, wouldn't be able to do anything with the sparse provisions that they had left. 

Clara blamed Missy, it was the worst kept secret on the Tardis that she raided the kitchen for snacks once everyone was in bed each night.

So, she turned to the door and went to head out, to talk to the others about what they wanted to do for their evening meal, when Oswin piped up behind her.

“I thought I'd killed you.” Oswin's voice was soft and almost inaudible  
Clara knelt in front of her and tapped her knee gently to get her to look up. 

“You didn't though, although what if it had been one of the others? I'm meant to be dead but they're not ok? So please be more careful of our friends in the future.”

Oswin nodded and then waved her hand towards the kitchen door, “You better go call them down for this food conference then, I'll wait here for you to get everyone.”

Clara sighed but nodded anyway, if Oswin wanted to pretend that she was ok then she would go along with it. 

She dashed out of the room, determined to drag everyone back quickly so Oswin wouldn't be alone for too long. Groaning, she realised that the others had already dispersed and headed back into their separate rooms. 

Unwilling to go door to door she pried open a panel at the end of the sleeping quarters corridor and hit a switch. A horrifying, screeching alarm   
immediately started ringing through that section of the Tardis and the doors soon cracked open, the heads of their disgruntled owners poking out.  
Missy, River, Amy and Rory all started screaming abuse at Clara as she smirked cockily and leaned against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. Ashildr didn't even bother starting to yell, knowing that it only made   
Clara more annoying and self righteous when people tried that with her.

When they all tapered off she pushed herself off the wall, throwing a command to get to the kitchen straight away over her shoulder, not even bothering to wait for agreement from any of them.

It didn't take very long for them all to wander in, everyone except Ashildr throwing Oswin dirty looks for the antics that morning, Clara warned them off with a glare and sat down at the table.

“Well, we have literally no food in right now.” Clara started. They all groaned except for Ashildr who smirked cockily and marched over to the cupboards to prove to Clara that she was the superior chef and would be able to put something together.

Clara waited patiently, grinning when she heard the frustrated growl behind her.

“So, as I was saying, I thought we could go out for a meal. Hopefully without picking up any more strays.”

Missy grinned wildly and winked at Clara, “We should go to the cafe where we had our date.”

They all turned to Clara, shocked, for an explanation. She rolled her eyes, “It wasn't a date, you'd taken the planes hostage.”

“What planes?” Amy cut in before they could start bickering.

“All planes dear.”

River's eyes widened, “That was you? I heard about it in the future, but no one could quite work out what had actually happened, nothing about it really made sense.”

Clara laughed shortly, “That's because it was just Missy's version of a text message because she's over dramatic.”

Oswin coughed slightly to get their attention, knowing this conversation wasn't going anywhere fast, looking up at Clara, “You did say that the tea there was really nice.”

Rory nodded decisively, thinking along the same lines as Oswin and just wanting a decision made quickly, “Sorted then, we'll go there.”

River shared a look with Clara and then suddenly dashed for the console room. Hindered by the table in front of her, Clara didn't manage to make it before River had punched in the coordinates and was already landing her   
Tardis.

Grinning smugly at Clara as she went, River strode to the doors and flung them open grandly, “Shall we?”

Missy led them out, tugging on Ashildr's arm impatiently, the Pond's and their daughter hot on her heels.

“Did you see what she did?!” Clara sulked childishly to Oswin who just giggled and grabbed her arm, pulling her after the others.

Missy had chosen the exact same table in the centre of the square for them to sit at as she had when she had gotten Clara to meet her here.

To compensate for the lack of seats, Rory and Ashildr had pulled over another table and stolen extra chairs as well.

It was a gorgeous day and Clara allowed herself to look around and appreciate it without the threat of a plane being dropped out of the sky looming over her, the small town square really was quite beautiful.

“So what's everyone having?” River asked, looking around for a waiter, not seeing any a confused look passed over her face.

“I think this is one of those places where you have to go to the counter.” Ashildr grinned, “If everyone let's me know what they want then I will go for all of us.”

Everyone started shouting requests at her and she nodded quickly before disappearing, presumably to go order their food.

Oswin rested her chin on her hands as she watched her go and looked around at the others. “You know there's no way that she remembered all that right? I'll be surprised if any of us actually get what we wanted.”

“I think you might be right about that.” Rory breathed, looking over Missy's shoulder who was sat opposite him next to Oswin.

They all spun round to see the small army of men with guns, all dressed in tactical gear, all headed straight for them. They twisted back quickly to avoid letting on that they had seen the men.

“Who the hell are they?” Amy asked in a hushed whisper.

Clara ducked down so she could peer around Oswin without being seen. She soon noticed who was commanding them from the other end of the street and groaned miserably, “They're UNIT, which means they're here for you.” She said, nodding at Missy.

“In hindsight,” Oswin started, “Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea. 

They probably had a surveillance team monitoring all the places you've previously been sighted.”

Missy shrugged, completely unworried to the others disbelief, “Oh well, I can just-”

“No.” River said firmly.

“No what?” Amy asked.

“No, she's not killing them.” Clara answered for her. “Missy may be a crazy psychopath but she's our crazy psychopath so we are going to have her back on this. Agreed?”

Each of the Tardis crew surprised themselves with how readily they agreed to what Clara had said. None of them had realised until this point just how much they had come to like and respect the TimeLady. Even despite her many, many flaws.

“What can we do?” Amy asked quietly, glancing back to check how close the men had gotten to them, “Whatever it is we have to do it soon.”

“Maybe we should just get up and leave?” Rory suggested, putting his arm around his wife and pretending to laugh at a joke River had told.

Oswin shook her head, able to see behind him from her position around the table, “No, that's not going to work. They've cut us off from the Tardis.”

“Well isn't that brilliant.” Missy huffed, but at River's warning look she didn't even bother trying to suggest murder again.

“I think I have an idea but none of you are going to like it.” Clara sighed, squinting to watch Kate, who was barking orders into a handheld radio.

“What?” Asked Oswin nervously.

“This.” Clara stood up and waved her arms above her head. “Kate!” She yelled.

Everyone from UNIT froze like a deer in the headlights.

“Kate! Come join us for breakfast!”

Clara calmly sat back down again and looked at the others who were all staring at her as though she'd grown another head.

“Are you insane?” Amy hissed at her.

She waved off their concerns dismissively, watching the other end of the street where UNIT had seemingly gone into a panicked frenzy when confronted directly by Clara.

There seemed to be an argument between them that Kate must have won because she came striding towards them confidently with the rest of her people hanging back looking a mix between worried and miserable. Crossing her arms over her chest she walked to to stand opposite Clara, glaring once   
she reached the table. 

“Hey Kate!” Clara smiled brightly, “Would you like to join us?” She asked, gesturing to Ashildr's empty chair.

“No I don't want to join you.” Kate snapped. “What are you doing here with her?” She growled, jerking her head towards Missy.

Missy gasped and layed her hand across her chest in mock offence, “Now that's just rude.”

Oswin chuckled and nudged into Missy gently with her shoulder, which had the added affect of drawing Kate's attention to her.

“And who the hell are you?”

“My sister.” Clara answered casually.

“You're an only child.” Kate said in response, glaring at Oswin accusingly,   
“Are you a Zygon?”

Clara laughed, she laughed even harder when Kate's eyes snapped up to meet hers and she remembered that Kate had no recollection of the incident with Bonnie because of the Doctor's memory wipe.

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing.” She took a deep breath, calming herself down, “But my sisters definitely not a Zygon so lay off of her.”

“Fine but you still didn't answer my original question.”

“Right!” Amy said, clicking her fingers as though she had just remembered,   
“We are here to have breakfast.”

River nodded, “Yeah, we came her because Missy suggested it and Clara like the tea here.”

They all saw Kate visibly calm herself down in response to their deliberate avoidances. “Clara, you remember she killed people right? She killed Osgood!”

A pained look flitted across Clara's face and Missy had the good grace to at least look guilty when Clara looked at her. She appreciated the gesture, even if she knew that the guilt was because Clara was bothered, not actually because she had killed someone.

“Look Kate, I get that you don't like her, but just don't do anything to antagonize Missy and there's no problem.”

“I can't do that, there has to be repercussions for what she has done. The Master had always been one of the greatest menaces the Earth has faced.”

Missy watched with interest Clara's reaction, she seemed to nod slightly in agreement but then sighed.

“There's no way that you are going to listen to anything I say is there?” Clara asked softly.

“I'm sorry.” Kate replied just as gently.

“So am I.”

 

 

 

CHAPTER 23

As Kate raised her hand to call her men forward they suddenly heard a massive explosion going off a few blocks away from where they were all sitting.

Kate's eyes immediately flicked over to Missy, fixing her with an accusing glare. Even Clara looked over to check that her rather unpredictable friend wasn't involved.

“Really Clara, I thought we were closer than that.” Missy pouted, holding her hands off to ward off the looks she was getting from Kate.

Oswin sniggered and knocked her hands down, “Relax she doesn't really believe you had anything to do with it.”

Amy smiled at her and then quirked an eyebrow at Kate, “Missy has been with us all day, trust me when I say that she had nothing to do with this.”

Kate smiled sweetly, “Then I'm sure she won't mind coming with us whilst we investigate what actually caused the disturbance then.”

Rory let out a bark of laughter, “Hell no, there's no way you're splitting us up.”

“Yeah, we all know what you're up to. I wouldn't be surprised if it was you who caused that explosion.” River growled threateningly.

Kate narrowed her eyes at them, “I can't believe that you are all seriously protecting the Master. But fine, we'll take all of you into custody then, at least until we find out what's going on.”

They all grumbled and Oswin made a quip about chaining themselves to the table. But they soon all got up to follow Kate to where UNIT had set up their base of operations, which turned out to be the local police station.

Once in the cell, River and Missy immediately played rock, paper, scissors to decide who got the top and bottom bunks, River's parents and the Oswald twins being left to just sit on the floor as they settled themselves into the only two beds.

“So does anyone have any theories?” Rory asked curiously once the hallway had cleared of Kate's men.

River shook her head, “It's not like we have much to go on, it might not even be an alien threat. Maybe someone robbed a bank.”

“Yeah, cause it's really going to be that simple.” Amy laughed sarcastically.  
Oswin peered through to make sure no one was listening in on them, 

“Clara?”

Clara looked up from where she was leaning against the wall, “What?”

“Is it....you know?”

Clara chuckled slightly and shook her head, “No this wasn't Ashildr, the UNIT capture backup plan definitely doesn't involve her blowing things up.”

Everyone else turned to look at her at once, “What?”

“Well after Jack found us in Cardiff, myself and Ashildr realised that UNIT would be able to do the same without much difficulty. So we put together a plan for if it ever happened. Ashildr always goes to order as soon as we stop anywhere so that if we are ambushed she's free to help us from outside.”

Missy nodded, grinning, “Very clever, and that's why you called Kate over. This was your goal.”

River was nodding along as well, clearly impressed by the forward thinking that had gone on. Rory and Amy just looked confused, “So you planned on us getting caught?”

Oswin, who had also been in on the plan, shook her head, “It was never a plan to get captured, but if it looked like the alternative was getting shot, then yeah, this was the following course of action. Ashildr's probably already working on getting us out.”

River looked out of the barred window from her place on top bunk, “That's if she hasn't ran into any trouble with whatever caused that explosion. Ashildr's perfectly capable but-”

“You called?” Ashildr suddenly popped up at the window with a wink.

“You're late.” Clara said deadpan before her face broke out in a smile, “Can you get us out of here?”

In response Ashildr held up a sonic blaster, grinning for a moment before tossing it to River, “I believe this is yours?”

“Thank you so much.” River smiled, carefully aiming the gun at the wall beside the window before firing once, leaving a perfectly square gap in the brickwork.

“Great let's go.” Amy said, going straight for the new exit.

“Wait.” Rory stopped her, “What about whatever UNIT's chasing, shouldn't we help them?”

Missy huffed at having their escape interrupted but turned to Ashildr anyway, “Go on then, I assume you've had a look at what's going on?”

She nodded quickly, “It's the Judoon, they're hunting for something and they believe UNIT is hiding it from them.”

Clara's eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember where she had heard that name before, “Judoon what are they?” 

“Basically, rhino space police.” Oswin piped up, pushing her towards the exit, “And if they're keeping UNIT busy then we should go. Now!”

“Will you just wait for one minute.” River stopped them again, “So the explosion?”

“Was at a warehouse where UNIT has been keeping all kinds of interesting toys.” Ashildr answered, “But I don't think they found what they were looking for because they're still on the warpath.”

Missy glared at them all, “I can't believe this is happening, they just locked us up and now you're all going running off to help them?!”

Amy laughed, “You know it wasn't as though they didn't make a fair point. You're not exactly one of the good guys.”

“Whatever.” Missy huffed, jumping out the window and stalking off back towards where they had parked, “You can go get yourselves killed by rampaging Judoon without me.”

Ashildr looked at the others, “Anyone else wanna go with her? Final chance to back out of whatever insane situation River's about to make us walk into.”

River rolled her eyes and punched Ashildr's arm as she jumped out the window, followed by the others who didn't manage the four foot drop as gracefully as she had. Once they were all down on the ground they followed Ashildr the long way round towards the building, avoiding areas where Kate had posted lookouts.

“So where are the space rhinos?” Amy asked curiously, not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

Ashildr grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the ground, pointing round the corner and shushing her hurriedly, “Right there, now be quiet unless you're trying to get us all killed.”

Rory peered round and saw three figures there, all wearing helmets, “Well that's disappointing, we can't see their faces.”

Oswin chuckled lightly, “Don't be too upset, Judoon aren't exactly pretty looking. Their heads kinda creep me out actually.”

River and Clara quietly spoke between themselves whilst the others discussed whether or not Judoon where in anyway good looking, which had to set a record for one of the weirdest discussions the group had found themselves having.

“You're right,” Clara sighed regretfully, “And because it was your idea, you are telling them.”

River scowled at her but nodded, “Fine, you lot!” She hissed to get their attention, “We need to know what they want so we can help bring all this to a peaceful conclusion, so.....we're going to ask them.”

The Pond's and Oswin and Ashildr instantly started arguing in unison, which would have been rather comical if it wasn't for what they were arguing about.

“What if they just decide to shoot us all?!” Amy screeched, whilst somehow still managing to maintain a whisper.

Clara nodded, “That's a fair point and don't worry, we've made sure to plan for it.”

“Really?” Rory asked skeptically.

“Of course.” River said, “Only one of us is going to ask them.” Giving a hard shove, she forced Oswin out of hiding and straight into the eyeline of the three Judoon down the street. When she looked back, the others had all scurried off to hide.

She sighed as the Judoon started marching towards her menacingly, “Well isn't this just great.”

 

 

 

CHAPTER 24

In her converse, Oswin was far shorter than the Judoon who towered above her in a threatening manner. It was actually rather comical at first glance but Clara soon sobered from where she was sitting once she realised the very real danger they could have just placed her sister in.

“Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.” She whispered to River who was sat beside her.

She shushed her quickly, “Either way it's too late now, she'll be fine.”

“Hey guys.” Oswin grinned shakily as they reached her.

The first one detached his helmet with a hiss and handed it to the one stood on the left.

From behind her, Oswin heard the muffled gasps from those who hadn't seen a Judoon before. She relaxed slightly once she knew that they hadn't actually abandoned her.

“So I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be looking for something.” She started.

Amy watched slightly horrified as Oswin spoke with the massive space rhino looming over her.

Clara was on edge for the whole time as they watched Oswin speak to the three Judoon. River, meanwhile, was quietly impressed at how Oswin held her ground and refused to let them intimidate her. 

After around ten minutes the Judoon just turned around and walked away and the tense line of Oswin's shoulders finally relaxed.

They all rushed over to where she was still standing as she fixed River and Clara with a stern look, “Never do that to me again.”

Amy laughed as a small guilty look crossed their faces, “So what did you find out?” She asked an amused looking Oswin.

“I'm not really sure that I found out anything particularly useful.” She frowned, “They were being really cagey. They did say something about a war criminal though.

“Missy?” Rory asked.

“No.” River said immediately, “She's a TimeLord. They'd send in a lot more fire power if they were trying to take her.”

“Do we still try and help?” Oswin asked curiously, “I mean, neither side really seems to want our assistance. And the Judoon said that if we didn't stay out of their way then bad things would happen.”

“They might not want our help,” River answered, “But I think both sides need it.”

She looked around and the others who all reluctantly nodded their agreement.

“Yeah.” Amy chimed in, “As much as I don't want to get in the middle of a fire fight between UNIT and rhino police, they're technically on the same side here and people will get hurt if we don't help them work that out.”

“Ok then, so what's first?” Rory asked.

Ashildr, who had been quiet since they first sent Oswin to talk to the Judoon, held out a small touch screen device that looked suspiciously like Amy's phone, only now there were wires and strange spinning disks attached. “This is next.”

“Is that my-” Amy started before Ashildr waved off her concerns in annoyance.

“I make something really brilliant and all you can do is fine something to complain about. Where I got the parts from doesn't matter. The point is, when Oswin said war criminal I put this together to scan for alien tech. Look.”   
They all leaned in closer to look at the map that she was showing them on the screen.

“Ok Ashildr, there's a lot of red dots on there so I'm going to need you to narrow this down.”

She sighed at Clara's confused look but zoomed it in closer so they could see what she was trying to show them better.

“This is the Tardis, and this dot is where we are from the smaller stuff we're carrying. These two large sections are the UNIT warehouse and head quarters. So this smaller section is presumably the Judoon ship.”

“Right ok,” Oswin cut in excitedly, “So that means that the dot further out is..”

“Exactly!” Ashildr smiled at her, “That's what they're all looking for. The Judoon must have a similar device to this on their ship and they zeroed in on UNIT because their alien artefacts collection is like a beacon. And now, they're too busy fighting to go and scan again for what they missed.”

River nodded and held out her hand for the phone, which Ashildr handed over, content to let someone else lead now she had done the clever part.

“Alright then, so we'll go get this war criminal, deliver them to the Judoon and then hopefully we can finish up our meal with UNIT safe in the knowledge that we didn't blow up their stuff.” She said calmly. 

Pointing to Amy and Rory, she gestured back towards the Tardis, “You two go get Missy, she has to be seen to be helping if we want UNIT to leave her alone after this. Once you have her, go cause distractions to stop the two sides from fighting too much whilst we go after the alien.”

Amy nodded and hugged her daughter quickly, before catching Rory's hand and dragging him back the way the came.

“So then we're going after the war criminal?” Clara asked with a grin. 

“Is it too late for me to switch teams?” Oswin laughed.

They headed off at a brisk walk with River in the lead, carefully following the map on the phone screen that was feeding them directions as they walked. A few time it showed once of the Judoon moving in their path but the program Ashildr had created just quickly recalculated the route to allow them to avoid   
the threat.

“So what you essentially built for us was an alien sat nav?” Oswin asked with a chuckle, as Amy's butchered phone barked out instructions using the standard voice for google maps.

Ashildr glared at her but couldn't really argue as to all intents and purposes, that was the most accurate description.

Clara sniggered from the other side of her as River held up a hand, “We're here, so will you all please shut up before whatever we're looking for hears you bickering and kills you horribly?”

They all went quiet although Oswin was still holding back giggles as River pushed open the door of the block of flats they were next to and snook in cautiously, the three of them trailing behind her.

“This whole area is getting renovated by the looks of it so we should be alone other that whatever it is we're looking for.” Clara murmured as she peered around the corner.

In a distant corner of the building they heard scuffling, as though something was dragging across the floor. River pulled out her gun and edged along quietly, they were all careful to make no noise. 

When they got to the door and they were able to see inside, they saw the outline of a Dalek silhouetted by the plastic sheeting hung up where the builders had been working.

“It couldn't be something simple could it?” Ashildr asked, “It had to be one of the very worst.”

“You ever get the feeling the universe itself is trying to screw you over?” 

Oswin asked with a sigh as River counted down with her fingers and they all prepared to charge in and distract it so that River could get a clean shot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 25

When River held her fingers up to shape a zero, the four of them burst into the room, River's gun poised to fire on the Dalek.

“CLARA?” Came the grating, robotic voice of the Dalek.

“Rusty?” She cried out in recognition, “How are you here?”

The other three stared at Clara as though she had just gone insane, greeting a Dalek like it was an old friend.

“Want to explain this one to us Clars?” Oswin asked, looking at her questioningly, more willing to give her the chance to explain because of her   
own history.

“Basically Rusty's a good Dalek who hates other Daleks. Why are the Judoon hunting you?”

If they didn't know better they would have sworn that the Dalek sounded hurt, “BECAUSE I AM A DALEK.”

“They're hunting you because they're racist?” River asked disbelievingly.

“Are we seriously talking about rhinos being racist towards salt shakers?” 

Ashildr snorted, pointing out the absurdity of the entire situation they had   
found themselves in.

Oswin giggled and leaned on Clara's shoulder, “You have a Dalek friend, an ex-Dalek sister and you briefly played a Dalek yourself.....do you have a thing for Daleks here Clara? Because I think that's something we should all know about in case you ever bring a date home.”

Clara slapped away her arm, “No I don't have a thing for Daleks you idiot. Why so curious? Anyone would think you have a thing for me!”

“Who says I don't?” Oswin winked at her, causing Clara to roll her eyes, “After all I'm incredibly sexy and we share the same face.”

“You're incredibly creepy, go stare at a mirror! Anyway, what are we going to   
do now guys? I'm not handing Rusty over to the Judoon just because he's a Dalek.”

“We'll kill him.” River said matter of factly.

“What?! Do you not listen? I literally just said-”

Ashildr and Oswin cracked up as River glared at Clara and Rusty subtly rolled backwards to position himself behind Clara.

“I'm not stupid Clara, or deaf. We're not really going to kill him. The Judoon just need to think he's dead and then they'll leave.”

Oswin coughed slightly and raised her hand between the two women who were still having a staring match to the great amusement of Ashildr who was still chortling away to herself.

“How exactly do you want us to fake Rusty's death without actually killing him?”

Ashildr snapped her fingers, “We'll take Jack's Dalek head.”

“Jack has a Dalek head?” Oswin asked curiously.

“And more importantly, he's keeping it on my ship?” Clara growled.

Ashildr just stared at her, hand on hip, “I seem to recall us stealing it together, and it isn't like you gave him time to pack his bags before you   
kicked him off.”

River laughed lightly, “She had a point, it's not even a full head either, just a few parts but it will be enough to convince the Judoon that we've killed your friend here.”

If it was a possibility for a Dalek to look bewildered then Rusty would have done as he followed the four women out of his hiding spot back to their Tardis.

River and Ashildr led their little group with Rusty trundling along behind them.

Oswin and Clara walked behind him, saying they were guarding the rear, but really using it as an excuse for Clara to whine to Oswin about how it was her Tardis and for Oswin to make teasing jabs at Clara about her thing for Daleks.

When they arrived back they sent Ashildr in to grab the parts from Jack's room. 

She soon came stumbling out with her arms full of metallic chunks of Dalek casing and pieces of circuit boards.

“You know if this works,” Clara mused, “I may lift Jack's banishment.”

Ashildr chuckled and bumped her hip against Clara's, “Good, come on then!”

They dropped Rusty off in an alley a little ways from the Tardis where he would be safe, throwing an old sheet over him so he wouldn't be noticed.

Cautiously they snook back to the outskirts of the little town square they had gone to where the cafe was located, their aim being to work out what had happened since they went off to find whatever the Judoon was looking for and all their plans had had to change.

“Well we did say distract them.” Ashildr snorted as she saw what was happening from their vantage point on top of a garage.

Amy and Rory had apparently convinced Missy to help and she was parading up and down the centre of the square holding a handful of cocktail umbrellas for some reason they couldn't quite fathom.

UNIT and the Judoon had each taken up position on either side of the square and where watching whatever was going on between them with great confusion.  
Guns were raised on both sides towards the middle where the three Tardis crew members where standing, but it was as though no one could quite work out whether they should start shooting or not.

Whilst Missy seemed to be quite content tap dancing her way up and down throwing tiny rainbow umbrellas in the air. Amy and Rory had decided to blast Bohemian Rhapsody through a bluetooth speaker somewhere nearby and had a full on karaoke session going on whilst standing on the nearest table, which was wobbling precariously.

“Come on, we should go down there before this descends into chaos.” River said, tapping the others who were all watching whilst grinning widely.

“Ok, just wait a sec.” Oswin quickly whipped out her phone and took a short video to play back and embarrass them at a later date, “Ok, I'm good let's go.”

Clara laughed and stood up on the edge of the small roof they were on, carefully jumping down and then taking the Dalek parts that Ashildr passed down to her.

Once all four of them were on the ground they made their way over to the table Amy and Rory were on, River pulled her gun and casually shot the speaker they were using.

“Ok everyone listen up!” Ashildr yelled.

Clara rolled her eyes but stepped forward anyway, addressing the Judoon who seemed to be eyeing River suspiciously ever since she pulled out the gun.

“You lot came here looking for a war criminal right? A Dalek. We found it for you and now it's dead so you can leave.”

The Judoon leader stepped forwards menacingly, “We require proof of this or-”

River nodded to Oswin, who had ended up with all the parts, she stepped forward and tipped them onto the ground in a pile at the leaders feet.

“This is all that is left of the one you were looking for. A lesson maybe, that if you were to ask for assistance instead of charging in, things would be a lot simpler for you.” River fixed the Judoon with a look as though she was scolding it.

They all heard what sounded like a huff and then the Judoon platoon turned and stalked off without another word, one of them quickly gathering up the parts before they left.

Kate stepped forward quickly from where she had been stood with the rest of her men.

“Clara.” She said simply, giving her a nod.

“Kate.” She said in the same detached way. “I'm not giving you Missy.”

Kate smiled despite herself, “I get that now, and I've seen what happened to the jail when we tried to contain you. I can't help but think it would go very badly if we tried to use force against you. And you did just all help us with our space rhino problem. Until the next time.”

She held out her hand to Clara and waited for her reaction.

Without hesitation Clara grasped the offered hand and shook it, she had disliked being at odds with the other woman, whom she respected greatly.

“Until the next time then.”

 

 

 

CHAPTER 26

“Right!” Clara exclaimed as she ran back up to the console, “Where to next?” 

She asked the others who had been standing around the main console waiting for her to come back inside after dropping Rusty off with some of his human, Dalek fighting, friends.

Ashildr coughed slightly to get her attention and then looked at Clara expectantly, “I seem to recall you said a little something about lifting Jack's banishment.”

Clara's eyes immediately went to Oswin who nodded with a smile, letting her know that she was fine with it if Clara was.

“Ok then, Ashildr you drive, I need to go put on another pair of shoes. These heels are killing me.”

Ashildr grinned happily and started punching in coordinate as Clara disappeared from the console room, closely followed by Oswin who was still following her around constantly after the unfortunate incident when she electrocuted the other girl.

“You know, I really don't understand what you were thinking wearing heels to go anywhere with our little group of misfits. Did you really expect things to go smoothly?” She giggled as Clara glared and pushed open her bedroom door.

Oswin beamed at her brightly and jumped on the bed as Clara started rooting through her closet, throwing random shoes behind her onto the bed. After the first near miss Oswin became more vigilant and started catching the shoes before they could smack her in the face, neatly organizing them in pairs for when Clara had finished assembling her shortlist.

“You know you could just cut down a bit with your shoes.” She said, after the seventeenth pair had been tossed to her. 

Clara was quiet for a moment before clapping her hands in satisfaction and standing up, coming over to stand over the rest of the pairs thoughtfully.

“What is the point of infinite wardrobe space if I can't try and fill it?” She asked Oswin who stared at her doubtfully.

“You do know what the word infinite means right?”

Clara just stuck her tongue out childishly, slipping on a pair that resembled jazz shoes.

“Yup, these will do. Come on.” 

Without waiting for a reply she grabbed Oswin's arm, dragging her out of her bedroom and back down the corridor to the console room where Jack was just walking in.

“Clara!” He grinned, opening his arms wide, “I take it this means you've forgiven me, hug?” 

She crossed her arms over her check, but her mouth twisted slightly into a smile.

“Nope, you've got to earn my hugs Jack.” 

He grinned and looked around at them all, “So where are we off to this time?”

Amy smiled slightly, “Yeah, so I have an idea about that.”

Which is how they ended up in Ikea on a random Wednesday night in two thousand and sixteen.

Amy and Rory had wandered off straight away and were currently shifting through hundreds of boxed of different coloured fairy lights in all shapes and sizes. Rory had found a box that had little computers where the screens lit up in different colours and he was considering getting them for Oswin.

“Ok so what do we actually have to get then?” Rory asked Amy, who was already being distracted by random items that he knew fully well she would never find a use for.

The group had decided to go out and buy a ton of new furniture to renovate their common room and make it more personalized to them, having become rather bored of the white colour scheme that was the TimeLord default for Tardis'. They had considered just programming what they wanted into the Tardis and letting it do the work for them but it had been argued that they would have more fun if they did all the redecorating themselves.

Once they had gotten to the store they had all split off into pairs to each collect various things from a master list they had arranged and agreed on before they left the Tardis.

Amy and Rory had decided to take responsibility for hunting down some new lamps, the weirder the better Ashildr had said, and they were committed to finding the strangest one they possible could, at least before they had started getting distracted by everything else.

Amy shushed him as they spotted River and Missy wandering around up ahead, “I've got a really bad idea.” She grinned at her husband, who rolled his eyes, knowing that when she wore that expression, something rather odd was about to happen.

“Let's play hide and seek!”

Amy's eyes were shining, which made Rory laugh aloud.

“Amy, we're grown adults in a store filled with the general public. Do you really think this is a good idea?”

“You're only saying that because you know I'll win!”

They stared at each other for a full minute, Amy arching an eyebrow challengingly.

“Fine.” Rory said eventually, “You send out a mass text, nominate Jack and Ashildr to seek out the rest of us. Whoever they catch first has to......” He trailed off, unable to come up with anything suitable as the forfeit.

“Whoever loses has to take on Jack, one on one, in an apple sours shot contest.” Amy finished for him, holding out her hand.

“Deal!” Rory hissed, shaking her hand once before turning and running in the opposite direction to where they had been heading to find a place to hide.  
Amy laughed and pulled out her phone as she started walking, she already had the perfect idea of where to lay low.

Meanwhile, Jack and Ashildr were looking at beds. Clara had said they needed new sofas but Jack had said that it would be cooler if they just had a small fleet of beds in the common room instead and with no one to supervise them, they had decided to buy exactly that.

“You know we could get some togas as well and do the whole Roman thing.” Jack mused as he looked at the various products on display.

Their phones dinged at the exact same time and they shared a look.

“This better not be another crisis.” Ashildr muttered as she jumped on the centre of a bed to test it out.

“It's not.” Jack grinned, holding up his phone so Ashildr could see. “Amy and Rory are starting a hide and seek game and we're up first as seekers.”

Ashildr laughed slightly, lying back on the bed, “That's pretty awesome, how long till we're going after them?”

“About ten minutes.” Jack said lying down beside her, “Wow, this bed is so comfortable!”

“I know right.” She exclaimed, propping her head up by placing her arm underneath whilst they waited to hunt down the others.

Across the other side of the store, Oswin, Clara, Missy and River had all come together briefly to discuss whether they were having any kind of running colour theme which soon came close to an argument. There were two many dominant personalities and none of them could agree on a single colour they all wanted to go for that would match all the furniture pieces they were looking to buy.

River and Oswin were preparing to drag away their respective shopping partners from an upcoming fist fight, when all their phones chimed at once.

“Clara!” Oswin yelled frustratedly to get her attention, “Amy and Rory want us all to play hide and seek, we have five minutes before Jack and Ashildr come after us all.” Hoping that would work to distract her from fighting with Missy.

It worked too well because both Clara and Missy immediately broke off their stare down and giggled almost hysterically, taking off running straight away in opposite directions.

Oswin looked at River helplessly who shrugged her shoulders, wearing a bemused expression.

“See you soon then.” River laughed as Oswin jogged off in the general direction of where Clara had gone, hoping to limit the trouble that this game was undoubtedly going to cause with the staff of Ikea. 

After the ten minutes were up, Jack and Ashildr reluctantly got up from the bed, “We are definitely getting one of these.” Jack said to Ashildr who shook her head.

“Not one Jack, ten. We're gonna completely replace the couches with these because they are so great!”

Jack chuckled, “Well ok then, sounds like a plan. Anyway, I'm going to take this half of the store, you take the other half ok?”

Ashildr nodded seriously which made Jack laugh again, before they turned and walked to their designated seeking areas.

The store they were in was massive and after fifteen minutes she had still not seen any of their friends and she didn't think there was any possibility of any of them going unnoticed by her.

When Ashildr reached the border of the bed section and the kitchen section she thought she heard muffled arguing up ahead. 

Flattening her back against the wall she looked round into a corridor of fridges, just catching a glimpse of someone who looked a lot like Oswin   
disappearing around the corner.

She was about to give chase when she remembered that she had heard Oswin arguing with someone who must still be in the corridor somewhere.

Glancing around to check for security cameras, she kicked the nearest fridge with the flat of her foot, causing a domino effect along the aisle.

With a muffled shriek, the last one fell and Ashildr grinned as she walked over and yanked it open to reveal Missy who was doing her best impression of a contortionist, jammed into the small space inside the unit.

“Got you!” She grinned offering Missy a hand to help her get out.  
Missy scowled and crossed her arms sulkily, “Brilliant, I take it that annoying little-”

“Yes it was Oswin that gave you away.” Ashildr interrupted, “Want to help me find her?”

Missy grinned and followed Ashildr in the direction she had seen Oswin disappear.

Jack was having less luck than Ashildr, now twenty minutes into the game, he still hadn't located a single person.

He rounded a corner just as a family of three walked past. 

His ears pricked up when he heard the mother of the kid bitching about immature adults setting an awful example for children.

“Excuse me?” He asked politely, giving them his most charming smile.   
“I couldn't help but overhear you talking about some adult causing trouble?”

The mother of the kid eyed him suspiciously.

“I work here,” He said in explanation, “Well...I hold shares in the company. Either way, this is very worrying and I want to deal with it as swiftly and severely as possible.”

The father puffed up his chest once he thought he was talking to someone important who would actually listen to his complaint.

“It's disgraceful it is. We went to look at a new desk for my little girl and there were these two mad women hiding and giggling away to themselves. I think they might have been on drugs.” He whispered to Jack, leaning in and covering his mouth slightly.

Jack almost started laughing but managed to cover it by clearing his throat. 

“I will deal with this at once sir, personally.”

The man smiled in satisfaction and shook Jack's hand vigorously, “Thank you my good man.”

Jack walked away chuckling slightly, towards the children's bedroom furniture section.

When he got there he heard what sounded like a hushed whisper and then nothing.

Unsure of whether he had actually heard anything, he started creeping around carefully, looking under desks and inside anything big enough to conceal a person.

After he had gone through everything he could think of, he still hadn't spotted any of his friends, he went to walk away when he heard a sound like a foot kicking a piece of wood and spun round to narrow his eyes suspiciously at a couple of old looking chests that were meant to go at the foot of beds. He had initially passed them by because they didn't seem big enough to hide anyone but now he wasn't so sure.

There were only three possibilities so he stood in the middle and then flipped up all three lids in quick succession. The first was empty but in the next two were Amy and River who had ran into each other earlier on in the game and decided to team up.

They both required help to get out of their respective boxes and when they did River turned round to glare at Amy.

“He was about to walk away! You couldn't have kept still for just one more minute?”

Amy huffed, “Well I'm sorry but have you seen how long my legs are?! I was starting to get an awful pain in my calf. And it was your idea to try and fit in the smallest space possible!”

Jack looked between them before starting to laugh, “You done? Cause we still need to find the others.”

Amy groaned and looked at Jack, “You mean you haven't found Rory yet?”

Jack shook his head, “No why?”

River laughed at the look on Amy's face, “Mummy dearest made a bet with father and now she has to do a one on one shot competition with you.”

Grinning, Jack shook Amy's hand jokingly, “Well I look forward to it.”  
Amy shook her head and then brushed past him to start looking for the others.

“Who's left to find?”

Jack pulled out her phone, “Ashildr says she's got Missy and they're in pursuit of Oswin now, so that leaves Rory and Clara to locate.”

“Let's get started then!” River smiled, clapping her hands together.

Ashildr and Missy were still hunting down Oswin who had managed to give   
them the slip in the dining room section.

“Did you see where she went?” Missy hissed to Ashildr, as several staff members ran past to deal with the destruction Ashildr had caused in the fridge section.

“No, but she can't have gone far. She had to have hidden somewhere here or we'd have seen her as she disappeared again.”

Missy nodded, “I agree, so where would a five foot two genius hide in a furniture store?” She asked Ashildr who frowned and shrugged.

“How am I meant to know? She's a genius so it's probably gonna be difficult to....”

She trailed off when her eyes fixed on something above her head, “You see that?”

“Yes I do.” Missy smiled walking over to a large side cabinet that was made for holding and displaying plates.

Using her hip she knocked into the cabinet, grinning when a red blur fell past her and hit the ground with a dull thud.

“Ow!” Oswin moaned, clutching her ribs that had smacked into the edge of a chair on the way down, “That was just plain cruel.”

Ashildr grinned and offered her a hand to get up, “You ok?”

“All you had to do way say you'd found me.” She grumbled, pulling herself to her feet. “I can't believe I lost a children's game, please say that you at least found Clara before me?”

“Nope!” Missy grinned, looping their arms together, “She's next on the list.”

They soon met up with the other group and together the six of them went on to search for Rory and Clara.   
They wandered around whilst laughing, carefully avoiding drawing attention from anyone who worked in the store.

“So to sum up none of us has any idea where my husband could be hiding?”   
Amy grumbled, annoyed at how much better than her Rory seemed to be at the game.

“Wait a minute.” Oswin frowned, staring hard at the back of the head of one of the Ikea workers. “Does he not look familiar to any of you?”

Amy followed her gaze and gasped, storming over to the man and spinning him round by the shoulders.

“Hey Amy!” Rory grinned smugly, “I think this means I win the bet.”

Amy gaped at him for a moment before throwing her arms round his neck and kissing him, “I would be angry but you're kind of hot when you're clever.”

River made a face and coughed loudly, “This is all very.....touching, but we're still one person down. And I can't believe that out of all of us, Clara Oswald did the best at hide and seek.”

Oswin laughed as the rest of them groaned. Ashildr suddenly gasped and hit her forehead with the palm of her hand.

“I know where she'll be!” 

They all looked at her questioningly.

“Follow me guys.”

Ashildr led them confidently through the store to the checkouts, just to the right was a small cafe for customers who were done shopping or where waiting for people currently in the store.

They reached the threshold and all scowled when the saw Clara sitting in the middle, casually drinking a cup of tea and smirking at them smugly.

“Hey guys!” She grinned, “Anyone fancy a brew?”

They all glared but sat down anyway, Ashildr grinned at Clara and shook her head.

“I can't believe it took you think long to work out where I'd be.” Clara laughed at her.

“Well it's not like I memorise all our very strange, drunken conversations about the tactics for playing children's games!” Ashildr laughed back at her.

They all stayed in the cafe for a while and had something to eat, deciding to call an end to their game after an announcement went out on the loudspeaker system saying that anyone caught playing the game would be removed from the store immediately.

Once they had all eaten they quickly split up and gathered everything they were meant to be buying in the first place.

They had never been more grateful for the Tardis than when they were able to drag all the flat pack boxes straight out the door and into their home   
without carrying them halfway across the country first.

Once inside, Clara started going through all the labels to see what they actually had.

“Erm, Ashildr?” She asked curiously, “Why when we asked for new couches, did you and Jack come back with fourteen beds?”

Ashildr and Jack shared a look, suddenly doubting the wisdom of their choice when faced with an angry Clara.

“Well you see this thing is-”

“Jack wanted to be Romans!” Ashildr yelled before bolting for the door, leaving Jack to deal with Clara alone.

However, Oswin caught her around the waist before she could get through the doorway. Instead of yelling Clara just looked at them bemused.

“Romans?”

“Yeah.” Jack said, shooting a glare at Ashildr for selling him out. “They had those couch bed things.”

Clara just held up her hands, “Fine, ok. Whatever, just make sure we keep at least one of the old couches then. You know, for the sane people.”

They both grinned at her and headed for the boxes to start building everything they had bought, Jack knocking into Ashildr's shoulder in revenge before they got started.

As a team they all unpacked everything and started building, it took over seven hours but eventually they had built the weirdest looking living room type area that Clara had ever seen in her life.

In the centre of the room they had a raised platform made completely of beds without a single gap. Ashildr and Jack thought it was amazing but the rest of them were still doubtful until they had all jumped on and were lying on their backs staring at the ceiling, which Oswin had programmed the Tardis to appear as the night sky.

Around the edge of the room was the rest of the things they had purchased, in the weirdest selection of colours that any of them had ever seen. 

Amy and Rory had filled every available space with random shaped lamps and Rory had decided to buy the computer shaped fairy lights for Oswin who had squealed excitedly and draped them all over the bookshelf Clara had bought that was shaped like a red sports car. Oswin had been doubtful at first but then Clara had reminded her that they had spent the morning playing hide and seek in the store and she'd not really been able to muster any more argument after that.

River and Missy had apparently just decided to buy an assortment of office chairs and random cabinets and coffee tables, none of which matched. Oswin had tried to look inside one but River had warned her darkly never to look in the cabinets and she had been too scared from that point to have any more questions.

They didn't do anything else from that point. When Rory eventually managed to sit up enough to check the time, they realised that it was past two in the morning so they all just slept there on the bed raft, listening to the sound of Ashildr and Jack arguing over what to name their creation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 27

Oswin opened her eyes blearily, unable to figure out where she was sleeping. It felt like a bed but there was a sky above her, and Clara was lying across her stomach so she couldn't sit up.

She turned her head and caught a glimpse of Jack and Ashildr lying a few feet away and the entirety of the day before came back to her.

“Clara?” She hissed, hitting her sister's shoulder with her free hand, “You're killing me right now Clars, get off.”

Clara sat up slightly, rubbing at her eyes. As soon as she was clear of Oswin's other arm, Oswin rolled her hips to knock Clara to the other side of the bed.

“I was comfy!” Clara complained glaring at Oswin out of the corner of her eye, “What do you want?”

“I couldn't breath! And I want breakfast.” She grinned.

“You should've woke up Ashildr then.”

Oswin rolled her eyes and sighed, “You were lying on my stomach, I couldn't move.”

“Are you calling me fat?” Clara asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

Oswin just stuck out her tongue and yanked Clara's shoe off her foot before she had time to react.

“Hey! What are you-?”

Shushing her, Oswin took careful aim and then lobbed the show in a perfect arc so it lander squarely on Ashildr's head.

Ashildr shrieked in pain and shot to her feet, clutching her head with one hand whilst glaring at Oswin once she figured out where the projectile had come from.

“Seriously?” She growled, swaying slightly as she tried to get balanced on the water bed she and Jack had decided to use as the centre piece on their bed raft. “Why did you throw a shoe at me?”

“I want breakfast and Clara told me to wake you up.” Oswin smiled sweetly, pointing at Clara who was trying her best to appear invisible.

Ashildr shook her head disgruntled as she picked her way carefully over to the edge of the bed.

“Fine I'll cook for you, but you have to promise not to throw anything else at me today.”

Oswin nodded happily, giggling slightly when Ashildr kicked Clara in the shin as she went past.

“Clara come help me, Oswin wake up everyone else.”

Clara huffed sulkily but did as Ashildr said, following her into the kitchen,   
which was practically inside their living room with how they'd layed everything out.

“It's nice not having to walk far to get to the kettle.” Ashildr mused as she tossed a box of tea bags over her shoulder to Clara.

“Seeing as how you're a hopeless cook, you can be on tea duty. Just make one for everyone because you just know they'll need a mug after being subjected to your sister this early in the morning.”

Clara laughed lightly as she caught the box, “Got it, what are you making us then?”

Ashildr frowned as she opened the cupboards, “I can't believe we went furniture shipping but still forgot to get any food. Oh wait!”

She grinned triumphantly as she pulled out a carton of eggs from the side compartment of the fridge where they had been hidden away.

“There's not that many but we do have a loaf left so I think we'll go for eggy bread.”

It wasn't long before there was a stack of eggy break waiting on the kitchen table as the others started wandering over sleepily, herded by an overly enthusiastic Oswin.

Clara just smiled at each of them sympathetically and handed over a mug of steaming hot tea, before sitting down herself and dragging her sister into the chair next to her.

“So what's on the agenda today then?” Jack asked cheerily, frowning when the others all laughed at him whilst throwing down the food Ashildr had made. “What?”

River took a quick gulp of her tea to wash down her final mouthful. “It's just the expectation that we have a day to day plan is laughable at best. Our ultimate aim is laziness Harkness.”

He stared at her confused, “But there always seems to be some sort of adventure going on whenever I'm here.”

Ashildr rolled her eyes, “Unfortunately the universe doesn't want to let us chill out for long. Yesterday was a rare break in the usual way of things. Undoubtedly we'll run into trouble soon.”

Clara laughed at her, “Don't be so miserable about it. It's fine anyway, whatever happens will happen, until then we can just pick somewhere fun to go and have a laugh.”

“Hey, maybe we should go to Alton Towers?” Amy asked suddenly, looking over at Rory, “We were always wanting to but then we got sent back to before it was built.”

“Alton Towers?” Missy asked curiously.

“It's a theme park,” Rory explained, “It's got tons of rides and their doughnuts are the best in the world. They coat them in this sugar and it's just-”

“Sold!” Oswin yelled, bouncing out of her seat.

Clara grabbed her arm and dragged her back down, Ashildr doing the same on the other side. 

“Your sugar addiction is really not healthy for your teeth.” She said warningly.

“What sugar addiction?” Oswin pouted.

Simultaneously they all pointed towards her plate where she had piled   
spoonfuls of sugar all over her breakfast.

“You know you do that for every meal right?” River asked, genuinely unsure whether Oswin was aware of what she was doing or not.

“There's not that much.” She mumbled defensively once she realised what they were all referring to.

“Yeah ok.” Jack laughed, “So, Alton Towers then?” 

The others all nodded easily, happy for another day of fun together before the next world wide crisis.

Ashildr quickly finished her last mouthful and then turned to River, “You're usually quickest at getting ready in the morning so you pilot ok? The rest of us should all get dressed and meet in the console room in fifteen minutes.”

Everyone had finished by then so they jumped up and disappeared towards their bedrooms.

Oswin laughed at them all clambering over the couch they had jammed against the doorway and then tugged on Clara's arm gently, telling her she knew another way around it.

All in all it took everyone twenty minutes to get dressed and then gather in the console room.

“We really need to move that bloody couch.” Amy grumbled, rubbing at her arm where she had smacked it into the door frame.

“We will.” River assured her, landing the Tardis smoothly, “But for now, we're here!”

They all rushed to the door at once like a gang of unruly children, tumbling out when the Tardis flicked open the second of the double doors in annoyance.

The more eager members, meaning Clara, Amy, Oswin, Rory and surprisingly enough Missy, all ended up in a heap on the floor being stepped over by laughing River, Ashildr and Jack. The pain of hitting the ground was soon forgotten as they all stared around wondrously.

None of them had ever actually been to the theme park before and they had landed on the edge of the X-Sector holding all the biggest and most exciting rides.

There was soon a fierce debate raging as to what they should do first, which River soon tired off and put her fingers in her mouth to let out a piercing whistle that had them all wincing.

“Ok enough! God, you're all like children! We'll split up ok? Everyone fine with that?”

Content with the solution they all quickly paired off into the usual groups. Because of this, River and Clara were quite surprised when Oswin jumped on Missy's back, who seemed to have no trouble carrying the small human, and pointed off in the direction of Mutiny Bay.

As they disappeared River just looked at Clara and shrugged, “Guess it's just you and me then.”

Clara grinned at her, “Awesome! Any idea what you want to do first?”

Shamelessly using some psychic paper as a fast pass, that the Tardis had made for them, they skipped all the queues and went on every single one of the rides in the X-Sector in under an hour.

Coming off Oblivion, Clara looked over at River queasily, “Well that was fun, but I think I need to go sit down, maybe for a year.” 

River laughed, having not been fazed but the fast pace of all the rides, “Come on then, I've already messaged the others and they're going to meet us at a cafe near to Air for lunch.

Clara nodded gingerly and allowed River to take her elbow, guiding her through the park to where the others were already waiting.

“Hey we already ordered for you guys and- Woah, what happened to Clara?” Amy called out when she saw how green Clara looked.

“What happened to me? What happened to Oswin?!” Clara asked aghast as she caught sight of her sister who was draped across the table, clutching her stomach and groaning whilst Missy patted her back sympathetically whilst keeping her distance in case she suddenly started throwing up.

“Couldn't cope with all the big rides one after the other.” River said in explanation.

At the same time Missy piped up from next to Oswin, “I threatened the staff members into giving her all the doughnuts she wanted.”

Clara glared at Missy as she slid into the seat beside Amy. “Weren't we literally just talking about her sugar problem this morning?”

Missy smirked, “Why do you think she chose to partner up with me today?”

“Worth it.” Oswin muttered happily, perking up slightly when the waiter placed a plate in front of her nose, “Anyone seen the sugar?” 

“Hell no!” Amy laughed, moving the packets out of her reach, “You re not putting sugar on a chicken burger, that's just strange.”

They all laughed as they started eating. Throughout their meal they shared what they had all been up to that morning and started to plan for their afternoon together, deciding to go on more rides as a group rather than in their pairs.

As the waiter started collecting in the plates, Ashildr leaned over and whispered in Clara's ear who nodded and grinned at her.

“I know exactly what ride we can go on next.” Ashildr announced. “It's a ride about a friendly alien that hatches on Earth.” She nodded over to Nemesis Sub Terra.

Those who new what the ride was already grinned and jumped on board, raving about how fun the ride was said to be.

They went straight over and jumped to the front of the line, using the psychic paper as a fast pass again.

When the ride workers suddenly started yelling at them, Ashildr, Amy, Rory, Clara, Jack and River all struggled not to laugh.

The only ones who didn't know about the nature of the ride ahead of time were Missy and Oswin.

They all stifled laughter as Oswin let out a nervous giggle and the main guy walked right up and yelled in her face, causing her to jump out of her skin.  
He tried going after Missy as well but she just quirked an eyebrow arrogantly and let out an over dramatic yawn.

They were then quickly ferried in the elevator to go downstairs into the room bordered with chair with the Nemesis egg in the centre.

Clara deliberately made sure she was next to Oswin to get the best out of her reaction to everything.

As the bars came down over their chests, Oswin grabbed for her hand nervously but began to relax as the introductory video played.

When the lights began flashing red she felt her sisters palm getting sweaty, but she didn't pull her hand away. The lights went down properly and there was a crack and they all got hit by a spray of liquid that caught them in the face. As they flickered back up the Nemesis egg had cracked open and   
Oswin's nails bit into Clara's hand.

When the seats all dropped she heard Oswin shriek, along with half the people in the room. As the lights came back up to reveal the Nemesis egg cavern, Oswin's grip on her hand became like iron, “Clara!”

She laughed and rubbed Oswin's hand with the pad of her thumb, “Just remember, it's not real.”

Oswin nodded her head quickly, just as the lights went out again. The seats started raising again in the dark, tortuously slowly.

Clara heard Oswin's panicked breathing and giggled slightly. Then they started getting whipped in the back of the legs and nudged in the back of their headrest. Oswin hit the roof screaming, and this time Clara allowed herself to join her, letting herself get lost in the well crafted horror fantasy.

Then they arrived back in the first egg room and a man in a gas mack ran in and hit the release button for the chairs, screaming at them all to run. Oswin wasted no time, dragging Clara through to the elevator.

“It's over now right?” She cried out as everyone else got in.

“Sure.” Clara answered, as the rest of their gang joined them in the elevator. 

Oswin glared at her suspiciously, clinging onto her waist.

Thirty seconds later when the lights went out again and the elevator started quaking, Clara could swear that she heard Oswin hiss that she was going to kill her as she clung to her and buried her face in against her chest.

When the lift got to the top and the doors slid open to reveal another gas mask wearing man, Oswin paid him no mind, ducking under his arm and   
dragging Clara along with her.

They ran through the short maze, dodging hands trying to grab them and ducking obstacles. On the last corner they came round quickly and found themselves nose to nose with another gas mask person.

“Why?!” Oswin yelled in fright, scowling she yanked on Clara's arm one more time to take them outside into the sunlight.

They were followed out by the rest of their friends who were laughing at Oswin's reaction along with the rest of the park staff who had now dropped their soldier act.

Taking a good look at her sister, Clara realised that Oswin was shaking like a leaf with all the adrenaline pumping through her body. She gathered her into a massive hug, grinning at their friends.

Then she saw the look on River and Missy's face as their eyes fixed on something behind her.

Turning around, her gaze immediately fell on a figure heading in the opposite direction.

“Doctor?” Clara breathed softly.


End file.
